“Excuse me, but ‘pro-active’ and ‘paradigm’, aren’t these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important?  Not that I’m accusing you of anything like that.  I’m fired aren’t I?” – Itchy & Scratchy Writer

“Oh, yes.” – Roger Meyers Jr.

In an attempt to fill the summer with love, hate and pointless Simpsons commentary we at the Dead Homer Society are going to spend some time overthinking Season 8.  Why Season 8?  Because Season 8 is when The Simpsons really began to deteriorate into Zombie Simpsons.  That’s why.  Because we’re cutting edge and ultra-modern we’re using a newfangled, information-superhighway fad called a “chatroom” to conduct our conversation.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “scotch” and “crotch”).

Today’s episode is 814, “The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show“, and tomorrow is 820 “The Canine Mutiny“.

Charlie Sweatpants: I hadn’t seen the Poochie episode in years and there’s a reason. It’s bad.

Mad Jon: It had been a while since I last watched the Poochie episode too but I think the first 5 minutes are almost perfect

Dave: I might be the outlier here, but I enjoy the Poochie episode

Mad Jon: Right up through the writers meeting where they come up with Poochie

Charlie Sweatpants: Okay, I may be more down on this one than you guys. Though I’ll agree that the first part is the best part of the episode.

Mad Jon: But yeah, the rest is meh

Its like going to see a fireworks show where the finale is a bunch of autistic kids holding sparklers

Dave: I guess I just enjoyed the poking fun of the hardcore fans

i.e. us

Charlie Sweatpants: Those are some of the parts I did like, the nerds in the comic book store are funny, especially when the one gets put in his place and then quietly eats his candy bar.

Mad Jon: No, there is definitely a bit of self-defense/first strike stuff going on there

And once again Homer working but not in the nuclear plant is a crap-fest

Charlie Sweatpants: The problem I have is that the whole thing just feels too meta. They know Poochie isn’t funny, but they do it anyway and try to bring themselves in on the joke with Roy, but ultimately the whole thing is an exercise in not being funny on purpose and the fans just have to take it.

Mad Jon: And I have never been able to defend any tv show that ends an episode with the fuzz on screen

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, let’s not go nuts. Homer vs Lisa and the 8th Commandment ends with fuzz.

Mad Jon: Oh that’s right

Dave: Yeah, I didn’t mind the fuzz

Mad Jon: Sorry, sorry everyone

Still, weak ending

Dave: It’s heavy handed to be sure

See, I think the meta-ness is what works for me

Charlie Sweatpants: Go on.

Dave: We’re in on the joke and the combination of Poochie and Roy’s unfunniness comes together – think the rake gag with Sideshow Bob

ok, that was a half thought.

my point was that there’s so much of it, you can’t help but be amused

Charlie Sweatpants: I guess the reason the meta stuff pisses me off is that it doesn’t even work in Itchy & Scratchy, right? I mean the whole reason people hate Poochie is because literally nothing at all violent ever happens with him on screen. Itchy stops hacking at Scratchy with a chainsaw because Poochie is talking.

Mad Jon: yeah, I get the retroactive sense that they are stabbing the fog with a salad fork ’cause they couldn’t keep pulling the same number of viewers they were used to

On a side note all the Itchy and Scratchy bits were pretty good

Charlie Sweatpants: The last one with the acid and the bow & arrow is great.

Mad Jon: I almost spilled my gin on my crotch when that one came on today

Charlie Sweatpants: Thank goodness that horror was avoided.

Dave: Can’t say I’ve ever dumped gin on my crotch

Other alcohols, yes

Dave: Wasn’t the predictability of the violence the whole point?

Mad Jon: Funny is funny

Dave: The kids weren’t amused anymore, try something new?

Charlie Sweatpants: I see where you’re coming from on that, but the fact remains that they’re broadcasting things they know aren’t funny and are then daring people not to like it.

Mad Jon: If I was used to making a billion a year in products based on a hit tv show I think I would be pretty proactive in telling people they better keep watching, but I’m a pretty vindictive bastard when it comes to sales

Charlie Sweatpants: If you go back and look at alt.tv.simpsons, which was pretty much the only place to bitch on-line back in the mid-nineties, people started getting pissed off in like Season 4 and earlier.

Mad Jon: Anyone who was pissed in season 4 is the kind of person who would be mad at a subpar blowjob

Dave: I’m not someone who was bitching about the show circa season 4

Charlie Sweatpants: Okay fine, but doesn’t it display a lack of creativity, that the best we can come up with is a middle finger to people so obsessed that they dial up their 9600 baud modems to complain?

Dave: On some level you’re offended by the episode then?

Charlie Sweatpants: Not offended so much as disappointed.

Dave: Because it’s mean?

Charlie Sweatpants: Oh no, the Simpsons is supposed to be mean.

Dave: What could they have done to make it palatable?

Charlie Sweatpants: Maybe it just rankles more than it should because the show has gotten so irredeemable in the interim.

Dave: Maybe that’s why it doesn’t bother me

Mad Jon: Bottom line is I completely lost interest at about 14 minutes. Something is fucked

I’d for sure take this over Lisa’s Date With Density

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, but consider this in the context of Season 8.

When 8 was on it was the first time I ever really heard people complain about the show, and I mean in real life not on usenet.

Mad Jon: Compared to the last view we’ve talked over, its ok

Fair enough

Dave: k, go on

Charlie Sweatpants: And then this kinda felt like piling on, like they were saying, “Yeah we know it’s not as good as it was, but what are you going to do about it?”

Mad Jon: I definitely get that feeling

Charlie Sweatpants: Obviously it’s gotten worse since then, but it was still true at the time.

Mad Jon: oh sure

Dave: Okay, I find that reasonable

Mad Jon: Did you guys notice the post-it on Krusty’s door when Roger Meyers came in?

Charlie Sweatpants: About the liquor not being for the cleaning staff?

Hell yeah, had to pause it, but yeah.

Mad Jon: Yeah. that was hilarious

Dave: Missed that one

Mad Jon: “Cleaning staff: The liquor is not for you”

Charlie Sweatpants: Yup.

Dave: We agree though that compared to stuff now, this episode is not the worst thing ever?

Charlie Sweatpants: Agreed.

Mad Jon: Oh not even close

Seriously, the first Act could have been from season 4 or 5

Dave: Phew.

Charlie Sweatpants: I would not go that far.

Mad Jon: But It would have been a short episode

What on earth do you not like about the beginning?

Charlie Sweatpants: But yes, it starts stronger than it ends.

Dave: You two bicker about the beginning some more, I’m going to refill my scotch

Charlie Sweatpants: Fair enough.

Mad Jon: Hmm, Scotch

*Scotch

I absolutely love the tv testing sceen

“One kid loves the speedo guy…”

Charlie Sweatpants: I’m on board with the focus group thing.

Dave: I love Ralph’s sad buzzer bit

Mad Jon: Yeah that’s great

The auditions were ok too

“What were you guys smoking when you came up with that?”

Charlie Sweatpants: But I’ll balk at it being total quality because it still has those weird moments like Bart and Lisa talking at the breakfast table and Krusty and Roger Meyer acting kind of out of character during their meeting.

Mad Jon: I can see the breakfast table bit being a bit suspicious, but I think the desperation of the meeting outweighs the character bit, especially with the back and forth on the language

Dave: What’s wrong with Bart and Lisa talking over breakfast?

Charlie Sweatpants: Well it just doesn’t quite fit, I don’t care that they’re eating breakfast at 4 in the afternoon or anything like that, it just seems a little too strange that they’d both be sitting at the table.

Marge telling Bart that she hugs him in his sleep is also a little bizarre, where’s the joke on that one?

Mad Jon: I am kind of bothered by the afternoon breakfast, but more because Homer isn’t complaining about going to work

I like the hug you in your sleep joke. That’s totally something Marge would do

Dave: yeah, didn’t mind the Marge joke either

Charlie Sweatpants: I didn’t hate it or anything, but it just doesn’t have that smooth good taste I’m accustomed to from quality Simpsons.

It’s those little non-sequiturs that build up as it goes along. Why is Homer the voice of Poochie? Why does there need to be all that drama about killing the character? Why is Homer so sensitive about people not liking the show?

Mad Jon: I agree with your points, but like I said the episode fails as it goes on. I was merely defending the beginning.

Charlie Sweatpants: Fair enough.

Mad Jon: let’s just say it doesn’t make the cut on my favorites playlist

Charlie Sweatpants: I think we’ve got our relative positions staked out on this one, any favorite/least favorite lines or gags?

Dave: I liked Poochie’s fake Oakleys.

Absolutely fitting.

Mad Jon: I like the Truth Telling Contest “Two towns over.”

Dave: oh, have we moved on?

Mad Jon: Sorry, I’ve been drinking

Charlie Sweatpants: “Excuse me, but proactive and paradigm, aren’t these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important”. That is a great line written by someone who had to put up with a lot of corporate bullshit. That one’s a winner.

Dave: Reminds me of our conversation from earlier, Charlie – the reviewers on nohomers et. al trying to sound a bit more intelligent than they really are

Mad Jon: I like the fact that the Krusty Clock that gets incredibly hot if you leave it plugged in is on the shelf behind Krusty’s desk

Come back tomorrow for scintillating part two of three guys arguing about cartoon dogs.