“And by the Sacred Parchment, I swear that if I reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters may my stomach become bloated and my head be plucked of all but three hairs.” – Homer Simpson
“Um, I think he should have to take a different oath!” – Moe
“Everyone takes the same oath.” – Number One
Such a Swartzwelder-esque line; always makes me laugh. Don’t know if he came up with this particular line, but he’s credited with writing the episode.