“I don’t know who to love more, my son Joshua who’s captain of the football team, or my daughter Amber who got the lead in the school play. Usually I use their grades as a tie breaker. But they both got straight ‘A’s this term, so, what’s a mother to do?” – Humble Brag Mom
“Well, I sense greatness in my family.” – Marge Simpson
“Your family?” – Skeptical Mom
“Well, it’s a greatness that others can’t see. But it’s there. And if it’s not true greatness we have, we’re at least average. . . . I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I think there’s a little al-key-hol in this punch.” – Marge Simpson
Dead Homer Society 
5 responses to “Quote of the Day”
My first episode! BBC1, November 1996
I like how we actually see Marge get drunk here, even if it’s on accident. I don’t think we ever see that again until Zombie Simpsons rears its ugly head.
She knows doctors say you should drink a glass and a half, but she just can’t drink that much.
Yeah, she wasn’t/couldn’t get drunk there. But I believe that’s the closest we got in the classic seasons after this episode.
they should call it a “large” island ice tea!