“Now, come on, you’re going to learn how to shave.” – Homer Simpson I completely didn’t realize there was a new episode last week. Ignorance is truly bliss. This week, Homer goes to the store to buy milk, and ends up getting a new kind that pushes both of his kids into early onset puberty, which basically means zits for Lisa and a mustache for Bart. Meanwhile, there’s a new, hot teacher at the school and Bart and Skinner compete with each other for her attention. If it was coherent in the least it’d be weird, instead it’s just the usual Zombie Simpsons mess. – La-Z Rider couch gag was kinda fun, and sucked a minute and a half out of the episode. Good for it. – We open on thirty seconds of chaos in the classroom while Willie reads poetry. For the record, that’s 10% of the show gone and not a single word written by the staff. This might be the best episode of the season. – Nevermind. Willie just pre-explained a vaping joke. – The new teacher is a cool army vet. Bart’s inner monologue is explaining to us how he’s feeling about this. – Homer is driving now and singing that he has a legal BAC. Then he passes Wiggum, who says, “I like it when the drivers sing their blood alcohol level”. It’s not enough for them to (repeatedly) tell us what we’re seeing, now they’re telling us they like doing it. – Case in point: Homer just said, “Woo-hoo, I’m running a basic errand.” – Apu and Homer are discussing fancy milk. Apu then tells us we’re about to watch a video. Guess what happens next? Go on. Guess. – The video took forty seconds. – Homer, Bart and Marge are in the kitchen acting surprised that Bart’s hair is combed. Homer then narrates and explains a sign gag before asking Bart to restate the plot about his cool new teacher. – Still in the kitchen. Still restating the teacher plot. – Bart’s hanging out with the new teacher by telling us about things we didn’t see. Novel. – Montage! – Skinner just appeared out of nowhere, and we got everything explained out loud again by Skinner’s brain, Bart’s brain, and then the new teacher’s brain. – Lisa and Bart are both starting puberty apparently, so their natural, child like reaction is to run into their parents room and exposit about it. – Marge says, “I just read about it in Thing magazine.” Then she holds up the magazine. – Homer is teaching Bart to shave. Huh. Never seen that before. – It’s apparently recess, and Skinner is expositing as a way of hitting on the new teacher. – Lisa is wearing makeup now to cover up her new acne. This leads to more inner monologue exposition, which is apparently this week’s theme: “Oh, my God. I’m popular. Hope this doesn’t go to my head. It went right to my head!” – Bart’s getting tutored…
An ongoing ramble by Charlie Sweatpants . .