“Please, Dad, this argument humiliates us both.” – Lisa Simpson “If I said ‘No’ the first time, what makes you think I’m gonna say ‘Yes’ the second time?” – Homer Simpson “Nothing, but you may say ‘Yes’ the ninety-ninth time.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh? Try me.” – Homer Simpson “Please, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson “Please, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson “Please, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson “Please, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson “Please, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson “Please, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh,…
Tag: One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish
Quote of the Day
“Why are we all dressed up?” – Bart Simpson “Because sometimes it’s fun to dress up for dinner.” – Marge Simpson “Why are we using the good china?” – Lisa Simpson “Because sometimes it’s fun to use the good china.” – Marge Simpson “What’s with the candles?” – Bart Simpson “Sometimes it’s fun to use candles.” – Marge Simpson “Why are we waiting for Dad?” – Lisa Simpson “Because we love your father and enjoy his company!” – Marge Simpson “Why are we really waiting for Dad?” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Your wife agreed that I should break this to you.” – Dr. Hibbert “No, need, doc. I can read Marge like a book. . . . Ooh, it’s good news! Isn’t it?” – Homer Simpson “No, Mr. Simpson.” – Dr. Hibbert
Quote of the Day
“I want to share something with you: the three little sentences that will get you through life. Number one: ‘Cover for me’. Number two: ‘Oh, good idea, boss!’. Number three: ‘It was like that when I got here’.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You gotta help me, Barney! I’m in jail!” – Homer Simpson “You are? Hey, Homer, go to the window. Hiya, neighbor! I can see you!” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, check out the luscious pair on that redhead. . . . That’s it, baby. Work those ankles.” – C.M. Burns “Ring a ding ding, sir.” – Mr. Smithers
Quote of the Day
“Forty-eight dollars and seventy cents . . . ah, you know we don’t usually take rusty money.” – Chief Wiggum
Behind Us Forever: Teenage Mutant Milk-caused Hurdles
“Now, come on, you’re going to learn how to shave.” – Homer Simpson I completely didn’t realize there was a new episode last week. Ignorance is truly bliss. This week, Homer goes to the store to buy milk, and ends up getting a new kind that pushes both of his kids into early onset puberty, which basically means zits for Lisa and a mustache for Bart. Meanwhile, there’s a new, hot teacher at the school and Bart and Skinner compete with each other for her attention. If it was coherent in the least it’d be weird, instead it’s just the…
Quote of the Day
“Sushi? Hey, maybe this is just one of those things you hear on the playground, but isn’t that raw fish?” – Bart Simpson “As usual, the playground has the facts right but missed the point entirely.” – Lisa Simpson
Sam Simon Roundup
Did you know he drew this? I didn’t know that. “You looked so peaceful lying there.” – Marge Simpson “There’ll be plenty of time for that! I got tons of important stuff to do!” – Homer Simpson This post was originally going to go up Tuesday, then Wednesday, then yesterday, but I kept finding more great Simon articles to add. Regular Reading Digest will be back next week, including all the non-Simon stuff I missed from this week. Several of these are from @DailySimpsons and @rubbrcatsimp, both of which are great follows if you want news and quotes from the…
Quote of the Day
“That’s sorta nice. What are you in for?” – Homer Simpson “Atmosphere.” – Harmonica Prisoner
Quote of the Day
“Akira, my good man, I’d like two sharks, an octopus, and an eel.” – Bart Simpson “Very good.” – Akira “Do you have any giant squid? The kind that drags men to their deaths?” – Bart Simpson “Not today.” – Akira Happy birthday George Takei!
Reading Digest: Sam Simon Rocks His Cancer Edition
“Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.” – Dr. Hibbert “No way, because I’m not dying!” – Homer Simpson “Second is anger.” – Dr. Hibbert “Why you little!” – Homer Simpson “After that comes fear.” – Dr. Hibbert “What’s after fear? What’s after fear?” – Homer Simpson “Bargaining.” – Dr. Hibbert “Doc, you gotta get me out of this. I’ll make it worth your while.” – Homer Simpson “Finally, acceptance.” – Dr. Hibbert “Well, we all gotta go some time.” – Homer Simpson “Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds…
Saturday Afternoon Cartoons
“Goodbye, Maggie, stay as sweet as you are . . . Goodbye, Lisa, I know you’ll make me proud . . . Goodbye, Bart . . . I like your sheets.” – Homer Simpson I know all these episodes so well that I often forget just how gobsmackingly amazing they are. The entire premise of “One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish” is that Homer is going to die. The episode is mostly heartfelt moments and sadness, and yet it is laugh out loud funny and beautifully drawn. Even compressed and scaled down, you can see the bittersweet emotion on…
Quote of the Day
“Is it done yet? Is it done yet?” – Homer Simpson “Your meatloaf will be ready in eight seconds, Homer.” – Marge Simpson “D’oh! Isn’t there anything faster than a microwave?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Poison? Oh, what should I do? What should I do? Tell me quick!” – Homer Simpson “No need to panic. There’s a map to the hospital on the back of the menu.” – Sushi Chef
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user oliptang. “If in fact you’ve consumed the venom of the blowfish, and from what the chef has told me it’s quite probable, you have twenty-four hours to live.” – Dr. Hibbert “Twenty-four hours?” – Homer Simpson “Well, twenty-two, I’m sorry I kept you waiting so long.” – Dr. Hibbert
Quote of the Day
“This is our karaoke bar. Now it is empty, but soon it will be hopping with drunken, Japanese businessmen.” – Happy Sumo Hostess Happy 20th anniversary to “One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish”! Original airdate 24 January 1991.
Quote of the Day
“Dad, we’ve never been too close, have we?” – Homer Simpson “Not to my knowledge.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What would you recommend for a family that’s not sure they should be here?” – Marge Simpson “The ‘Sushi Surprise’, a little bit of everything. It is very non-threatening.” – Akira Happy Birthday George Takei! [Edited because I forgot the word “not” the first time.]