“Hello Marge, oh, what is S. N. U. H.?” – Helen Lovejoy

“Snuh.” – Marge Simpsons

“Oh.” – Helen Lovejoy

“It stands for Springfieldians for Non-violence Understanding and Helping.  I’ve started a crusade against cartoon violence.” – Marge Simpson

In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21.  Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “subconscious”).

This is maybe the shortest “Crazy Noises” post we’ve ever done for the simple reason that this was one of the most content free episodes of Zombie Simpsons in a while.  Also, see the picture above for a comedy opportunity The Simpsons used and Zombie Simpsons (as we discuss below) ignored.

Charlie Sweatpants: So, did everyone actually watch this one?

Mad Jon: I did

Dave: I did too

Well, watch is unfair.

It was really just background noise

Mad Jon: It really did just barely exist

Charlie Sweatpants: You mean you didn’t give it your strictest attention so as not to miss the wall to wall humor?

Dave: Precisely.

Mad Jon: I can’t decide what pissed me off the most, but I am pretty sure it was the rhythmic gymnastics scene.

Charlie Sweatpants: Oh man, that went on forever.

Dave: One exchange stands out: “What’d I miss?” – Homer

“Ehh, nothing.” – Bart

Mad Jon: Specifically the noises Marge was making.

Dave: That was pretty bad, yeah.

Charlie Sweatpants: Last week’s was a hot mess, this was more of a cold mess. Yeah, it had a beginning middle and end (sort of), but nothing happened.

Mad Jon: Well the ending pissed me off, that at least was something.

Dave: Yeah, it’s amazing that they need 20 minutes to say nothing.

And they had the extended couch gag to fill up time, too.

Mad Jon: Wasn’t there a catch me if you can episode a few years ago?

Dave: Yeah, there was.

Can’t think of the name of it though.

Mad Jon: Did they think it worked so well it could also be a couch gag?

Or did they just forget?

Charlie Sweatpants: Wait, are you talking about that movie with Hanks and DiCaprio?

Mad Jon: yeah, they did a parody of that in an episode a few years ago.

And now they did a couch gag parody of it. At least that’s what I thought I saw.

Dave: I don’t know if it was a parody of that, but I see what you’re getting at.

Mad Jon: Of course the knowledge that I was about to watch an episode of Zombie Simpsons may have caused enough subconscious shock that I imagined the whole thing…

Dave: Either way, my point was that the gag, like much of the episode, just went on way too long. Add Marge’s training montage to that, too.

Mad Jon: Yeah that sucked.

They only attempted joke involved Akira not being Akira

Charlie Sweatpants: But it wasn’t strictly a montage, was it? It was more a collection of random scenes.

Dave: I was just going to admit to enjoying Akira’s appearance.

I guess it wasn’t a montage in the traditional sense, but you know what I meant.

Mad Jon: Yeah, it was a time filling montage, without awesome 80’s music.

Charlie Sweatpants: Here’s Tatum, here’s Akira, here’s Burns. The last one was particularly dim.

Mad Jon: Ugh,

Dave: Yeah, since when is Burns helpful?

Charlie Sweatpants: Since, like Homer, he became a prop and not a character.

Mad Jon: At least he used to be entertainng

Well put.

Why was Homer waving a Canadian flag?

Charlie Sweatpants: No idea.

Why did Marge walk right into the “septagon”?

Dave: I’m sure the pandering made some Canuck happy.

Mad Jon: I believe to put a stop to the fighting league whatever it was called.

Charlie Sweatpants: Why did the MMA guy offer to fight Marge?

Mad Jon: I think it was a wager of some sort

Dave: To end violence? Who knows.

Mad Jon: But I don’t remember what the terms were. Just that they were going to fight.

Dave: We’ve done sanctimonious Marge episodes before that were better executed, funny, and didn’t feel like you were having a root canal.

Charlie Sweatpants: Exactly.

Dave: Also, Tyranno-Vision is now just Jumbo-Vision. That made me sad.

Charlie Sweatpants: I didn’t even notice that.

That’s pretty bad.

Mad Jon: Me neither.

Dave: I don’t know why I remember that.

Charlie Sweatpants: Speaking of things that didn’t make any sense, what was with Homer’s weird freakout dream about Marge being crippled?

Mad Jon: I dunno, I must have missed that.

Dave: Same here.

Charlie Sweatpants: Don’t worry about it, like all rhetorical questions about Zombie Simpsons it has no real answer.

Mad Jon: Indeed. What is the sound of one episode sucking? If a Zombie writer falls down in the woods, does anyone care?

Dave: Heh.

How Zen.

Mad Jon: “ooOOOOooohh”

Charlie Sweatpants: So, uh, really is there anything to say about this one?

Dave: I feel like we’ve reached an impasse. There’s really not a whole lot more to say or criticize, is there?

Wow we almost typed the same thing

Mad Jon: I don’t know, there wasn’t anything remarkable about it. There were a few scenes that were worse than the others, but I would have a hard time ranking them.

Charlie Sweatpants: This one was less insane than last week’s but just as boring. How do you criticize a blank wall?

Mad Jon: You don’t. You pee on it and go back into the bar.

Charlie Sweatpants: Fair point.

Was there anything in here that didn’t suck?

Dave: Like I said, I kinda enjoyed Akira’s bit, but not much else.

Charlie Sweatpants: I was mildly amused by the scalper’s line about being a guy whose 200 friends didn’t show up, but that hardly made the whole thing worth my time.

Which reminds me, did you see the signs that Marge’s protest group was carrying?

Dave: Negative.

Mad Jon: Didn’t notice

Charlie Sweatpants: They weren’t event trying to be funny with them and a couple were actually the same.

They couldn’t even muster the imagination to come up with more than four fake sign slogans.

Mad Jon: That’s too bad.

Charlie Sweatpants: First year marketing students could do better.

I don’t think things like Homer sticking the straw into his own eye are funny, but at least they’re trying. So much of this one (and Zombie Simpsons in general) just doesn’t have anything that’s even attempting to be funny.

Like that bizarre Rocky III-ish last ten seconds with Bart and Lisa in the ring. Other than killing time, what was the point of that?

Mad Jon: That really sucked. At least they could have ended like Rocky, with the pause before the punch.

Dave: Hope that someone notices the Rocky-ness of the moment and says, “Hey, I get that?”

Charlie Sweatpants: I guess.

Okay, anything else, or can we be done?

Dave: Let’s be done.

Mad Jon: I got nothing, this one wasn’t even worth ripping on.

Charlie Sweatpants: See? Zombie Simpsons could learn from us. When we don’t have anything to talk about, we shut up.