“We need more information.” – Chief Wiggum “Very well. It’s buried at 4723 Maple Valley Road. [Silence] “[Theatrical Sigh] You take Highway 201 south for fifteen minutes. You take a left . . . a left!” – Malloy I had a long day planned today and then I had to take my mom to the emergency room at 9:30 in the morning for an infected cat bite (she’s fine), which means I get to do much of what I had planned tomorrow instead, but I wanted to note the passing of the uniquely great Sam Neill. The above quote is…
Category: The Simpsons
Quote of the Day
“I could get a job.” – Marge Simpson “Hey, then I could follow my dream, living in the woods and keeping a journal of my thoughts.” – Homer Simpson “March 15th, I wish I brought a TV. Oh God, how I miss TV!” – Dream Homer
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, when you get to be our age, you’ll learn a few things. Like when a sign says, ‘Do Not Feed the Bears’, man, you’d better not feed the bears.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Read your town charter, boy. If foodstuff should touch the ground, said foodstuff shall be turned over to the village idiot. Since I don’t see him around, start shoveling!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Prostitution, loan sharking, numbers, the kid liked to wet his beak in everything.” – Jailhouse Snitch
QotD and Book Preview Explainer
“Sure, I may have offended a few of the blue nosers with my cocky stride and musky odors.” – Homer Simpson The site is starting to look like itself again, baby steps, but progress. The first of ten preview posts for We Kicked Their Ass is now up. This one contains the preface, the author’s note, and the first section of chapter one. A new post/section will be added every Wednesday and Saturday until Fourth of July. There is an email address box for those who might later like to order it (but no pre-orders yet). Work on this book…
Undead Homer Society
“Hey hey! I’ve been in Reno for six weeks! Did I miss anything?” – Krusty the Klown Good news, everyone: I’m not dead, I’m no longer homeless, and that overwhelming global pandemic has (mostly) subsided! Those things have been true for a couple of years now, but what’s new is that I just spent a couple hours messing around with the WordPress theme here and buying this spiffy new domain (deadhomers.com). To my great amusement, someone squatted on deadhomersociety.com when I was too broke to afford it. Enjoy it, algorithm bot, it’s worth it to me for the story alone.…
Thursday Evening Cartoons
“Please, Dad?” – Bart Simpson“No.” – Homer Simpson“Please, Dad?” – Bart Simpson“No.” – Homer Simpson“Please, Dad?” – Bart Simpson“No.” – Homer Simpson“Please, Dad?” – Bart Simpson“No.” – Homer Simpson“Please, Dad?” – Bart Simpson“No.” – Homer Simpson“Please, Dad?” – Bart Simpson“No.” – Homer Simpson“Please, Dad?” – Bart Simpson“No.” – Homer Simpson“Please, Dad?” – Bart Simpson“No.” – Homer Simpson It’s pretty rare these days that I notice something in The Simpsons that I’ve never noticed before, but even after all these years and Jebus knows how many rewatches, this show can still surprise me. I was watching “Three Men and a Comic…
Quote of the Day
“Father McGrath? I thought you were dead!” – Soap Opera Babe“I was!” – Father McGrath
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“Perhaps you’d be more comfortable talking to Snappy the Alligator.” – Mr. Smithers “Maybe.” – C.M. Burns The episode where Burns sells out to the Germans occurs halfway through Season 3. By this early point in the series we’ve already seen him gleefully cancel employee Christmas bonuses, run for governor, run down a child in his car, commit Homer (involuntarily) to a mental hospital, and rage scald Smithers with hot tea. As a human being he is comprehensively vile, uncaring about the pain his actions inflict and rich enough to cause damage on a scale most evil people could only…
Sunday Evening Cartoons: Brad Goodman vs. Rona
“Let’s look at the rainbow. What’s in there?” – Brad Goodman I’ve never had much use for “best episode” or “favorite season” discussions. I always enjoy talking Simpsons, even when I’m drinking my chicory, but trying to definitely say this essentially flawless episode is better than that essentially flawless episode has never seemed fun to me. That being said, I recognize that “Marge vs. the Monorail” will always top “Bart’s Inner Child” in terms of popularity. The song alone puts the monorail episode ahead. But the one and only thing I never liked about “Marge vs. the Monorail”, even…
Thursday Evening Cartoons
“We need a cure! We need a cure!” – Mob “Why the only cure is bedrest. Anything I give you would only be a placebo.” – Dr. Hibbert “Where do we get these placebos?!” – Panicked Woman “Maybe there’s some in this truck!” – Panicked Man Howdy, campers, how’s everyone doing with the ongoing unpleasantness? My life has certainly been turned upside down, though I’m on team “Stuck At Home” not team “Doing All the Real Work”, so I’ve got it fairly easy. And while there are a lot of people that I love and care about who are at…
Will There Ever Be a Rainbow?
“Hey, hey! I’ve been in Reno for six weeks, did I miss anything?” – Krusty the Klown Back on Simpsons Day I mentioned a gigantic side project. Well, here it is. “Global Warming: What’s In It For You?” is a (semi-illustrated) guidebook for climate change. It begins with the historic and scientific background, moves through the denier campaign and all the damage it has wrought, and debunks a lot of pretty myths and widespread misperceptions. It also affords me several opportunities to take big dumps on some truly vile people and conglomerates, including Exxon, InBev, and Disney. Basically, I tried…
Happy Simpsons Day!
“Oh, Springfield Elementary, I will have you back again! After all, tomorrow is another school day!” – Principal Skinner Happy Simpsons Day, everybody! Today marks the 30th anniversary of “Simpsons Roasting On an Open Fire” and the beginning of the best ten-ish year streak in television history. I’m sure there are a lot of retrospective pieces up around the internet today, but as you can tell from the near total lack of substantive posts around here, I don’t think there’s much left to be said, so you’re on your own for finding them. About that total lack of posts: I…
Quote of the Day
“I think we’ve heard enough about Larry Burns for one evening.” – Marge Simpson “Why? It’s not like anything interesting happened to anyone else today?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Bart! Lisa! If you don’t behave we’ll turn this car right around and go home!” – Marge Simpson “But, Marge, I want to see my brother!” – Homer Simpson “Oh, for God’s sakes, Homer, it’s an empty threat.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh yes, we won! We won! We won! Um, unfortunately, since I bet on the other team, heh . . . uh, we won’t be going for pizza.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Eine minuten, eine minuten! . . . Ach! Das wagen phone ist ein . . . nuisance phone!” – Nondescript Elderly Argentinian “Buenos notches, mein fuehrer.” – Charming Nazi “Ja, Ja.” – Nondescript Elderly Argentinian
Quote of the Day
“You know, we’re kind of like the original Odd Couple. You’re the messy one, and I’m-” – Principal Skinner “Shut up!” – Homer Simpson “Oh, yes. Very well.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Then, on his eighteenth birthday, he was blown up in a silo explosion. During his long recuperation, he taught himself to hear and feel pain again.” – Kent Brockman