“I didn’t know they still made TV dinners this bad.” – Homer Simpson
Tag: Itchy and Scratchy and Marge
Quote of the Day
“This is the kind of entertainment they think is suitable for younger and more impressionable viewers!” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, but what are you gonna do?” – Homer Simpson “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to write a letter!” – Marge Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Is it a masterpiece or just some guy with his pants down? That’s our topic tonight on Smartline.” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“It’s a tool that every home handyman needs! It’s a jigsaw! It’s a power drill! It’s a wood turning lathe! It’s an asphalt spreader! It’s sixty-seven tools in one! How much would you pay for a machine that can do all this!” – TV Announcer “One thousand dollars!” – Homer Simpson “Oh, don’t answer yet!” – TV Announcer “Oh, sorry.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Join us tomorrow when our topic will be religion: which is the one true faith?” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“Hey, tomorrow night, how about making some of your patented pork chops?” – Homer Simpson “Sure! . . . Oh, dear, I can’t. I’ve got three protest rallies tomorrow.” – Marge Simpson “Twenty million women in the world and I had to marry Jane Fonda.” – Homer Simpson
He Was Moe Green, Damn It!
“That screwball Marge Simpson, we’ve gotta stop her! But how?” – Roger Meyers Jr. “Drop and anvil on her?” – Cartoon Writer #1 “Hit her on the hear with a piano?” – Cartoon Exec #1 “Stuff her full of TNT then throw a match down her throat and run?” – Cartoon Exec #2 “All your fancy degrees and that’s the best you can do? You make me sick!” – Roger Meyers Jr. Alex Rocco, the voice of Roger Meyers Jr. and the iconic “bullet through the eyeglasses guy” in The Godfather, died yesterday. Our friends over at Flim Springfield have an…
Quote of the Day
“And, joining us live via satellite from Vienna, the home of Sigmund Freud, the world’s most famous psychiatrist, to give us an insight into the human mind, Dr. Marvin Monroe.” – Kent Brockman “Hiya.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe
Reading Digest: Call for Guest Posts Edition
Between the holiday, the end of the television season, and the fact that it’s now basically summertime, the Simpsons had a pretty sparse week on-line. All those things also mean that it’s time for my annual solicitation for guest posts. If you’ve got something you’d like to say about the show, send it in. We accept rants, cranky letters to the editor that end with “I am not a nut”, well thought out analyses, and just about anything else. Pictures and images are welcome, and we’ll be happy to link back to your Twitter account, blog, or what have you.…
Reading Digest: No One Cares About the Season Finale Edition
“Aren’t you going to watch the rest of your cute cartoons?” – Marge Simpson “Nah, come on Lis.” – Bart Simpson “Maybe there’s something else to do on this planet.” – Lisa Simpson Thank Jebus, most of the Lego hoopla has fallen down the internet memory hole and we’ve got a full set of great links for what feels like the first time in forever. There’s crazy people driving a Simpsons car across Australia, tons of cool fan made stuff (everything from Homer as a serial killer to a nice Malibu Stacy cross stitch), some fun lists, several people who…
Quote of the Day
“Take a letter, Miss White. Dear valued viewer, thank you for taking an interest in the Itchy and Scratchy program. Enclosed is a personally autographed photo of America’s favorite cat and mouse team to add to your collection. In regards to your specific comments about the show, our research indicates that one person cannot make a difference, no matter how big a screwball she is. So let me close by saying . . .” – Roger Meyers Jr. “And the horse I rode in on? I’ll show them what one screwball can do!” – Marge Simpson Happy birthday Alex Rocco! …
Quote of the Day
“You heard me, I won’t be in for the rest of the week. . . . I told you, my baby beat me up. . . . Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I knew all this stuff would come in handy someday. Let’s see now, ah, here it is: the Complete Handyman’s Bookshelf, Volume 1, Spice Racks.” – Homer Simpson
Hey, Everybody, Season 24 Is Over
“Hi, kids! . . . What the . . . is this Saturday?” – Krusty the Klown I’m still going to do Behind Us Forever for this week’s episodes, but the last two days have not been kind in terms of free time. In the interim, how about a little ratings schadenfreude? Sunday’s episodes both scored dismal ratings, with the first one (“The Saga of Carl”) coming in at just 4.01 million viewers, and “Dangers on a Train” bumping up a bit to 4.52 million. The former is good for #2 on the all time least watched list, with even…
Reading Digest: Foreign Art Edition
“This will be the art event of the century! The greatest masterpiece of Italian Renaissance, Michelangelo’s David, on a coast-to-coast tour, United States.” – Italian Art Guy “Sir, which cities will be included in your itinerary?” – Reporter “Ah, New York, Springfield, and if we have time, Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles.” – Italian Art Guy This week we have four(!) outstanding pieces of serious Simpsons art from a bunch of foreigners. There’s a Canadian, a Frenchman, Brits, and one that I think is Brazilian, but I couldn’t tell for sure, and all of them are excellent and click worthy. There’s…
Quote of the Day
“Marge, I’m gonna build you a spice rack.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, you don’t have to go to all that trouble just for me.” – Marge Simpson “It’s no trouble, I got a whole garage full of tools I never use.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What do you have to say to all those Marge Simpson wannabes out there who wish to suppress David’s doodle?” – Dr. Marvin Monroe “Hmm, I don’t know. I guess one person can make a difference, but most of the time they probably shouldn’t.” – Marge Simpson
“Itchy & Scratchy & Marge” Spews Truth
“I’ve started a crusade against cartoon violence. I can protect my own children, but there are many others whose minds are being warped every afternoon at four.” – Marge Simpson “That reminds me, I gotta get over to Milhouse’s and . . . play sports.” – Bart Simpson “Alright.” – Marge Simpson “And I’m going over to Janie’s again. We’re going to be, um, making the most of our childhood years.” – Lisa Simpson “Have Fun!” – Marge Simpson “We will.” – Bart and Lisa Simpson They talk quite a bit about this idea near the end, but “Itchy &…
A Heartwarming Tale of Friendship Overcoming Zombie Simpsons
“You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice lived such interesting lives.” – Homer Simpson If the only thing the dull eyed, undead colossus of Zombie Simpsons cost the wider world was half an hour on FOX every Sunday, it wouldn’t be a problem. There are a lot of television channels these days, and wasting one more timeslot on a mediocre show that fades from your mind as soon as the credits roll isn’t the least bit meaningful. In the context of the entertainment panoply of the early twenty-first century, everything from movies on demand…
Quote of the Day
“In preparing for this debate I did a little research, and I discovered a startling thing. There was violence in the past, long before cartoons were invented.” – Roger Meyers Jr. “I see, fascinating.” – Kent Brockman “And there was something called The Crusades, for instance, tremendous violence, many people killed, the darn thing went on for thirty years!” – Roger Meyers Jr. “And this was before cartoons were invented?” – Kent Brockman Happy birthday Alex Rocco! (Well, technically it’s not until Leap Day 2012, but I’m sure he’s learned to make do.)