“Springfield has come down with a fever . . . football fever, brought on by the biggest game of the year, the pigskin classic between the Shelbyville Sharks and our own Springfield Atoms.  If you have the fever, there’s only one cure.  Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning.” – Kent Brockman

“Warning: Tickets should not be taken internally.” – TV Announcer

“See, because of me, now they have a warning.” – Homer Simpson