“Oh, this sucks.  Come on snipers, where are you?” – Bart Simpson
I’ve said this before, and one of the links today makes the same point, but one of the many great things about The Simpsons was how it served as a road map to other cultural items.  You could actually learn things from the show.  This week we’ve got a couple of links to some of the things behind some classic Simpsons gags.  Plus the usual assortment of excellent usage, real life becoming unsettlingly like the show, and other random crap. 

Enjoy. 

Life Imitates The Simpsons – It only took twenty years, but real teevee has gotten as dumb as “Smartline”. 

And Now She’s Got Helicopters – This is a lamentation about boredom that starts with excellent usage:

A lot of people will, if asked, inform you that alcohol is the “cause of and solution to” all life’s problems.

SIMPSONS ALUMNI UPDATE 2010 – Rubbercat Simpsons has an (almost) all inclusive alumni update. 

French Homer and Marge wed – The voice actors who do the French translations for Homer and Marge married each other.  (via Springfield Springfield’s Twitter feed)

Joe Flacco Productions Presents: "Man Getting Hit By Football’" – A guy videotaping a flag football game quarterbacked by Ravens starter Joe Flacco took a tight spiral to the nuts.  And yes, it results in Simpsons YouTube. 

We can credit so many of today’s great inventions to The Simpsons. – Did Hank Scorpio invent the blanket with sleeves?  Was that his true doomsday device?

Vote For The Simpsons Character to Represent the Two New Members of the WCHA – College hockey was originally organized by an autistic monkey, but once you actually know what’s what it’s quite fun to follow.  Here are two Simpsons polls about it. 

Christianity in The Simpsons: Top 12 Reverend Lovejoy Quotes – This one goes out to all star commenter Lovejoy fan.  And only one of them is from Zombie Simpsons.  Excellent. 

The Simpsons Help With Your April Fool’s Pranks – Ah yes, this is exactly what I want, a lame ass piece of bloatware to annoy me on my PC with undercooked Zombie Simpsons gags. 

Wizard World Toronto, a little convention art, and the GREATEST CON SKETCH OF ALLTIME! – Scroll about halfway down for a sketch of Homer labeled “Zombie Homer”. 

The Beat of the Future: John Cusack, guestblogger – Noted kickboxer John Cusack found this Riefenstahl worthy YouTube of the 1986 Super Bowl halftime show featuring the clean cut sounds of Hooray for Everything.  If you ever wondered what “Lisa the Greek” was making fun of with the rock & roll alien halftime show, now you know:

Shit gets real at about the 3:00 minute mark with that Reagan era classic: wildly missing the point of Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”, though you’ve got to stick around to the 6:30 mark to get this little racial fairy tale from the time of America’s Greatest President:

One of the big reasons The Simpsons was such a cultural shock when it came out was the fact that it took direct and unapologetic aim at this kind of stuff.  Nothing with network television level exposure had ever done that. 

Casper the Disturbingly-Friendly Ghost – The quote doesn’t contain “really” but other than that it’s spot on.  Excellent usage, and a funny cartoon to boot. 

“Nobody’s Here” – Beethoven’s Fifth in The Simpsons – Sadly there’s some Zombie Simpsons in here, but the main discussion is about Barney’s answering machine when Homer calls from jail in “One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish”.  If you weren’t watching US commercials in the late 1980s you might never have known what the novelty answering machine thing was from.  Well, there’s YouTube to finally give you the context. 

The What’s What, Volume 92 – This is a question and answer type website.  The question is kinda boring:

My buddy keeps going on and on about how the Simpsons are not funny and how Family Guy is a way better cartoon.  Whatever, it’s an opinion, but he feels superior to those who prefer Simpsons. Anything I can tell him to shut up? –FreeBoobies

The answer, however, is more interesting:

I’d wager Seth McFarlane considers the Simpsons an inspiration.  It’s cool to have a preference, but to call the Simpsons not funny, even if you think it’s true, makes you seem overemotional about the topic to the point where your credibility is a serious concern.

Hmmm, do we have any credibility?  We don’t.  Just checking. 

Don’t go up there! – This is a quote blog.  They whiffed on this one, however:

“Son! Don’t go up there! You’ll die just like I did!” – Grandpa, “The Simpsons”

The actual quote is:

“Son, don’t go up that mountain.  You’ll die up there, just like I did!”

IL Green Party criticizes Secret Plan to Convert State Capitol into Simpson’s Theme Park – Here’s some cromulent April Fooling.

Go AE101! – Maybe I just never saw it, but I have no memory of the show ever doing Toyota commercials:

I like how Bart’s there, but doesn’t talk.  That way they only had to pay Castellaneta. 

Cartoon lessons for Liverpool pupils in bid to tackle youth violence – So it’s come to this, the police are going to teach kids how not to be violent by showing a cat get disemboweled by a mouse. 

Nanny state? Political correctness gone mad? Gimme a break – Excellent usage. 

Serenades, Scott McCloud and The Simpsons: It’s a Link Post – D.N. mentioned this in comments last week, but A.V Club wrote a long article on “22 Short Films About Springfield”.  I have been meaning to read it for a week now.  Someone else did read it:

The episode itself is always the first thing that comes to mind when I think about when The Simpsons was really good, and one of the first things that comes to mind when thinking about how because of The Simpsons, I encountered a great number of western popular culture’s most enduring works via parody before ever seeing or reading the real deals. It also probably marks the first time I saw a ball gag.

I had seen a ball gag before that. 

Songs of the Ice Flyers – This is a discussion of the songs you hear at sporting events.  This is from Season 11 so it’s Zombie-ish, but it’s perfectly quoted and apt so I’m still calling it excellent usage:

BTO was lucky enough to pen two songs that became arena staples. Hello? “Takin’ Care of Business.” To quote Homer Simpson: “It’s BTO. They’re Canada’s answer to ELP. Their big hit was TCB. That’s how we talked in the 70s. We didn’t have a moment to spare.”

Carpe Weekend – This has very little to do with the show, but it does contain this awesome aside:

ON THE CASE: If Jason Freeman were to reopen his Bloodhound Detective Agency, he would investigate why Fox’s "The Simpsons" has gone downhill.

Yes, investigate.