“Me and Frostillicus go back a long ways, I used to share a bathroom with Frostillicus.  In fact, I got a real funny story about that, actually it’s not so much funny as it is long.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson

There’s no new Zombie Simpsons until September at the earliest (October? fingers crossed!), so we’re going to spend the summer overthinking Season 9.  Why Season 9?  Because we did Season 8 last summer, and Season 9 was when the show started becoming more Zombie than Simpsons.  Since we’re too lazy to do audio and too ugly to do video, we’ve booked a “chatroom” (ours is right between the one with the sexy seventh graders and the one with the bored federal agents pretending to be sexy seventh graders).  So log on to your dial-up AOL and join us.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “Frostillicus”).

Today’s episode is 917 “Lisa the Simpson”, 919 “Simpson Tide” will be up tomorrow.

Charlie Sweatpants: Which one do we want to start with: the submarine or the dumbening?

Mad Jon: Dumbening to starts off please

Dave: Good, that’s still fresh in my memory.

Just finished it 10 minutes ago.

Charlie Sweatpants: In my humble opinion, this one is near the top of 9.

Mad Jon: I kind of agree

Dave: Let me backpedal a bit from my statement a couple weeks ago about much of 9 being unwatchable. This was far more pleasant than I remembered.

Charlie Sweatpants: It has a few small problems, but they’re awfully minor.

Damn it, we’re agreeing again.

"Get Rich or Die Bloggin’" by that White People guy says we have to disagree.

Mad Jon: I think there is plenty of good stuff, and even the wacky Homer stuff is pretty tame. Also the wacky stuff actually figures into the plot.

Charlie Sweatpants: But it’s more stupid than wacky.

Dave: Lisa’s proselytizing at the end was about the only thing I really didn’t care for

Charlie Sweatpants: What part?

Dave: And even that was mild by modern Zombie Simpsons standards

Mad Jon: My biggest problem is the beginning

Dave: The shit about loving your brain.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, but that was okay because a) it was in character and, more importantly, b) it used both ends of the Proposition 305 joke. And the Proposition 305 joke is fantastic.

Dave: Indeed it is.

Mad Jon: Moochin’ war widows

Dave: I kinda liked Ralph’s "But you’re suffering" line too. I use that more often than I realize

Charlie Sweatpants: The biggest gripe I have with this one is the soup skin thing.

Mad Jon: Explain

Charlie Sweatpants: Much as I like to not harp on inter-episode continuity, Homer’s line in "Bart Gets an F" about hating "that icky soup skin" is funnier than Homer scarfing it down. They’re contradictory, but what really gets me is that it feels like a more Jerkass/Xtreme Homer thing to do.

Dave: Yeah, okay. Didn’t even think about that.

Charlie Sweatpants: It just feels like I’m watching the death of a character I love, and I don’t like that.

Mad Jon: I can see that.

But that seems to be a general complaint we have about these mid series seasons.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, but this is really specific.

Jerkass Homer is remarkably absent from this one.

For the most part.

Mad Jon: I just think it plays into the episode.

If Lisa wasn’t worried about losing her brain, his actions would be jerkass.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’ll disagree in most instances.

Mad Jon: Do that then.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, take the game where they crash into each other with pots on their heads. That’s a bit jerkass, I’ll grant, but only a bit and it ends quickly.

They move right on, but they imply that it goes on longer by having Homer note that the score is 22-16.

Mad Jon: So the candy bars on the ground don’t fit?

Charlie Sweatpants:  The candy bars thing goes on a beat too long, you’re right about that.

Dave: Eh, we’re a pedantic Simpsons blog, but even that’s a bit much for me.

Charlie Sweatpants: Huh?

Dave: The implication that it goes on longer.

Mad Jon: I agree, shallow AND pedantic.

Dave: I’m okay with that.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, it’s a funny idea, but it stretches out way too long before getting to Lisa’s hilarious vision of her dumb future with Ralph.

Mad Jon: That was very funny.

Charlie Sweatpants: I love that her TV is set up sideways.

Mad Jon: But what happens when the buildings say no more?

Charlie Sweatpants: But the candy bar thing (and Lisa’s decision) going on longer than they need to are small complaints.

Mad Jon: I agree

Dave: Yep, tiny.

Mad Jon: And as I said I feel they fit in with the plot.

So’s I’m ok with it.

Charlie Sweatpants: This one has a ton of good stuff, from the extended Simpson clan, the desperate jazz musician, Troy McClure’s DNA video.

Mad Jon: The DNA video is great.

I really don’t have any valid criticisms for this one. It’s not quite as good as my favorite episodes, but I’m not bored either.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, the B-plot isn’t as good.

It’s not bad, but it’s not up to par with the rest of the episode.

Mad Jon: I don’t mind it, it was kind of mindless and random, but I like the oddities Apu sets up and the whole plot is worth a few chuckles. It’s still Season 9 after all.

Dave: It’s not up to par with the rest of the episode, but it’s perfectly watchable.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, what I appreciate about it is that, unlike the next one, it has only one weird leap of logic: Jasper gets frozen. They establish that and move on instead of layering them one after another.

Mad Jon: Moon Pie… What a time to be alive

Charlie Sweatpants: I’m partial to "Time has ravaged your once youthful looks".

Mad Jon: I like how Jasper asks for the Time Traveler Discount at the Nude-E-Mart

Dave: "Come on in!"

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, if we’re going to close with some good quotes, I love Grandpa in this one. The haircut is good, but his description of life with Frostillicus "Actually it’s not so much funny as it is long" is great.

Mad Jon: That is a very good one on which to go out.

Charlie Sweatpants: But the champ of the episode is "You have to listen to the notes she’s not playing", "I can do that at home". I like jazz, but pretentious jazz defenders, some of whom I’ve met and who can be unbelievably un-self-aware, deserve that.

That is a highly usable quote.

And I love the little chat Lisa has with the musician. That Lisa takes inspiration from a shop worn sales pitch really makes the ending.

"Damn, that felt like a sale."

And on that note of cynical storytelling, shall we move on?