“I know one of you is responsible for this, so repeat after me.  If I withhold the truth may I go straight to Hell, where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Where fiery demons will punch me in the back.” – Ralph Wiggum
“Where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers.” – Bart Simpson