“Attention all personnel, please keep working during the following announcement. And now, our boss and friend, Mr. Burns.” – Mr. Smithers
“Hello. I’m proud to announce that we’ve been able to increase safety here at the plant, without increasing the cost to the consumer or affecting management pay raises. However, for you semi-skilled workers, there will be no Christmas bonuses. . . . Oh, and one more thing, Merry Christmas!” – C.M. Burns

Happy Simpsons Day, everybody!