“What are the odds on Santa’s Little Helper?” – Homer Simpson “Ninety-nine to one.” – Ticket Booth Guy “Wow! Ninety-nine times thirteen equals merry Christmas!” – Homer Simpson Happy Simpsons Day everybody!
Tag: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire
Quote of the Day
“Can we keep him, Dad? Please!” – Bart Simpson “But he’s a loser! He’s pathetic! He’s . . . a Simpson.” – Homer Simpson Happy Simpsons Day, everybody!
Quote of the Day
“Attention all personnel, please keep working during the following announcement. And now, our boss and friend, Mr. Burns.” – Mr. Smithers “Hello. I’m proud to announce that we’ve been able to increase safety here at the plant, without increasing the cost to the consumer or affecting management pay raises. However, for you semi-skilled workers, there will be no Christmas bonuses. . . . Oh, and one more thing, Merry Christmas!” – C.M. Burns Happy Simpsons Day, everybody!
Quote of the Day
“The fifth grade will now favor us with a scene from Charles Dickens ‘A Christmas Carol’.” – Principal Skinner “Oh, how many grades does this school have?” – Homer Simpson Merry Annual Gift Day, everybody!
Quote of the Day
“Yello?” – Homer Simpson “Marge, please.” – Patty Bouvier “Who’s this?” – Homer Simpson “May I please speak to Marge.” – Patty Bouvier “This is her sister, isn’t it?” – Homer Simpson “Is Marge there?” – Patty Bouvier “Who shall I say is calling?” – Homer Simpson “Marge, please.” – Patty Bouvier “It’s your sister.” – Homer Simpson Happy Simpsons Day, everybody!
Quote of the Day
“Can we open our presents now, Dad?” – Future Gambler “You know the tradition, son. Not till the eighth race.” – Gambler
Reading Digest: Everyone Loves “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” Edition
♫”Then all the reindeer loved him/ And they shouted out with glee/ Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer/ You’ll go down in history!”♫ – The Simpson Family “Like Attila the Hun!” – Bart Simpson Simpsons Day was on Wednesday this week, and with it being a (relatively) big number, 25 years and all, it got more than the usual attention. So we’ve got a lot of lists and retrospectives mixed in with some usage, a bit of fan art, one hapless defense of Zombie Simpsons, a couple of Hutz tributes, a pre-Simpsons David Silverman project, and several people who used the…
Quote of the Day
“One ‘Mother’, please.” – Bart Simpson “Wait a minute, how old are you?” – The Happy Sailor “Twenty-one, sir.” – Bart Simpson “Get in the chair.” – The Happy Sailor Happy Simpsons Day, everybody!
Behind Us Forever: Luca$
“Where is Homer, anyway?” – Selma Bouvier “It’s so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all.” – Patty Bouvier “What, Aunt Patty?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, nothing, dear, I’m just trashing your father.” – Patty Bouvier “Well, I wish you wouldn’t. Because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he’s the only father I have. Therefore he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at…
Sight Gags: Simpsons Roasting on An Open Fire
“Selma and I couldn’t be more excited about seeing our baby sister for Christmas Eve.” – Patty Bouvier “Homer and I are looking forward to your visit, too.” – Marge Simpson “Somehow I doubt that Homer’s excited. Of all the men you could’ve married, I don’t know why you picked one who’s always so rude rt. . .” – Patty Bouvier To go along with my new found love of quoting episodes on the day they came out, how about a look at some of those jokes that just can’t be quoted? Being the first episode and all, the sign…
Reading Digest: Reminiscing Holiday Edition
“Dear friends of the Simpson family, we had some sadness and some gladness this year. First the sadness, our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to kitty heaven, but we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself. Lisa got straight As. And Bart, well, we love Bart.” – Marge Simpson As we’re now at t-minus 11 days and counting to the biggest holiday on the American calendar, the internet’s thoughts are turning to…
Reading Digest: Roasting on an Open Fire Edition
“Bart, did you hear that? What a name! Santa’s Little Helper? It’s a sign! It’s an omen!” – Homer Simpson “It’s a coincidence, Dad.” – Bart Simpson I know tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and that Christmas is in the rearview mirror, but this is a list of links from the past week, and in that time “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” won the internet. We’ve got five – count ’em five! – links to people who in one way or another wrote up the original Simpsons episode. Combined with comments like these, it’s nice to see it still…
Quote of the Day
“I hope you feel better, Santa.” – Little Girl “Oh, I will when Mrs. Claus’s sisters get out of town. Thanks for listening kid.” – Homer Simpson
The Passion of Homer Simpson
“I don’t deserve you as much as a guy with a fat wallet and a credit card that won’t set off that horrible beeping.” – Homer Simpson Many horrible things befall American everyman Homer Simpson in “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire”. With the quick and relatively harmless exceptions of a snow cushioned fall off the roof and hitting his head on the doorframe of Santa’s workshop, these things aren’t physical. Nor, for that matter, are they malicious or deliberate. Ned Flanders is far too guileless to understand that his Christmas decorations are humiliating to Homer. Bart isn’t trying to…
Quote of the Day
“That just leaves little Maggie. Oh look, a little squeak toy! It says it’s for dogs, but she can’t read.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Now whatever you do, boy, don’t squirm. You don’t want to get this sucker near your eye or your groin.” – Tattoo Removal Guy Happy Simpsons Day everybody!
Quote of the Day
“Why is there a bird house in it?” – Selma Bouvier “Uhm, that’s an ornament.” – Homer Simpson “Do I smell gunpowder?” – Patty Bouvier
One Bad Episode
“Aw, come on Dad. This can be the miracle that saves the Simpsons’ Christmas. If TV has taught me anything it’s that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs, and it’s gonna happen to us.” – Bart Simpson The Dead Homer Society Manifesto lists Season 7 as having “One Bad Episode”. That episode is “Marge Be Not Proud”. Please understand that we only consider “Marge Be Not Proud” a ‘bad’ episode by the towering standards of early season Simpsons. Compared with the wretched dreck…
“Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” Promos
“They’re coming to save the 90s!” How prescient: This is the promo clip Letterman showed in his interview with Groening: Then as now once people got a taste of good Simpsons they just wanted to watch it over and over: And, the aftermath:
Quote of the Day
“Okay kids, prepare to be dazzled. Marge, turn on the juice! . . . What do you think kids?” – Homer Simpson “Nice try dad.” – Lisa Simpson “Ugh.” – Bart Simpson “Now just hold your horses, son. Hey, Simpson!” – Ned Flanders “What is it Flanders?” – Homer Simpson “Oh, uh, do you think this looks okay?” – Ned Flanders “Whoa.” – Lisa Simpson “Neato.” – Bart Simpson “It’s too bright.” – Homer Simpson Happy Simpsons Day Everybody!