“Get up, Homer, it’s time for church.” – Marge Simpson “I don’t wanna go.” – Homer Simpson “It’s church. You have to go.” – Marge Simpson “Too cold out.” – Homer Simpson
Month: December 2017
Quote of the Day
“Hi-de-ho-a-roony, neighbor. What can I do ya for?” – Ned Flanders “Get out of there! My family needs to use your bomb shelter.” – Homer Simpson “Homer!” – Marge Simpson “Oh, I kinda figured this might happen, so I built the shelter big enough for both our families.” – Ned Flanders “No deal. Out.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Ooh, I better go take down the Manger scene. If Baby Jesus got loose, he could really do some damage.” – Ned Flanders
Quote of the Day
“Oh, my, what is that smell? Oh, it’s you.” – All Creatures Great and Cheap Clerk
Quote of the Day
“The Moon belongs to America, and anxiously awaits the arrival of our Astromen.” – U.S. Department of Moon, 1952
Quote of the Day
“Hello, young man.” – Old Lady “Good evening, madam. You have been selected by the good people of Slash-Co to reap the benefits of their new, Nev-R-Dull knife edge. Here, shake hands with the Slash-Co.” – Homer Simpson “Ahhhh!” – Old Lady “Handle first. Handle first.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, everything’s too damn expensive these days. Look at this Bible I just got, fifteen bucks! And talk about a preachy book, everybody’s a sinner! . . . Except for this guy.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Thirty cents off Shake N Bake. Homer!” – Marge Simpson “We can spare it, Marge. We’ve been blessed.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I can assure you and the public that there’s absolutely no danger whatsoever. Things couldn’t be more shipshape.” – C.M. Burns “Sir, where’s my radiation suit?” – Mr. Smithers “How the hell should I know?” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Join us tomorrow when our topic will be religion: which is the one true faith?” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“For once, we’re going to celebrate Christmas as a family.” – Marge Simpson “Hello? Anybody home?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”!
Quote of the Day
“Run free, little vermin! The city is yours!” – Mayor Quimby
Quote of the Day
“The good news is, we need no longer fear vicious mob reprisal.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, the important thing is for your mother to repress what happened, push it deep down inside her, so she’ll never annoy us again.” – Homer Simpson
The Cost of Zombie Simpsons
“I think it’s full, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “That’s ridiculous! The last tree held nine drums!” – C.M. Burns NOTE: Back in September, in response to Alf Clausen’s firing, I posted what would be a new chapter for an expanded version of “Zombie Simpsons: How the Best Show Ever Became the Broadcasting Undead”. The book is still being shopped to publishers, and early responses have been mixed, in that some of them ignore it, and others reject it. But it’s Simpsons Day, and I’m a long way from giving up on it, so here is another new chapter. It’s very…
Quote of the Day
“Attention all personnel, please keep working during the following announcement. And now, our boss and friend, Mr. Burns.” – Mr. Smithers “Hello. I’m proud to announce that we’ve been able to increase safety here at the plant, without increasing the cost to the consumer or affecting management pay raises. However, for you semi-skilled workers, there will be no Christmas bonuses. . . . Oh, and one more thing, Merry Christmas!” – C.M. Burns Happy Simpsons Day, everybody!
Quote of the Day
“I’m afraid Robert Goulet hasn’t arrived yet, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Very well. Begin the thawing of Jim Nabors.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“You think this stolen H is a laugh riot, don’t you? Well, I’ll tell you something that’s not so funny! Right now, Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl! . . . I guess it is a little funny.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“I bet you’re all wondering what lies under this sheet.” – Herb Powell “Not really. We peeked inside while you were in the john.” – Bart Simpson “Well, here it is again.” – Herb Powell
Quote of the Day
“I suppose I’ll be getting home too. At least I got Matlock to keep me company. Oh, he’s on in five minutes!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “He is? Step on it!” – Jacqueline Bouvier “Hurry up! Hurry! Each Matlock could be our last!” – Old Jewish Guy