“Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please, do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.” – TV Announcer
“Well, I’ll be damned.” – Chief Clancy Wiggum
Dead Homer Society 
One response to “Quote of the Day”
“years of” (Fired, blunder, etc.)
Honestly surprised you haven’t done this one yet.