“Bills, bills, oh, a rejection letter from The New Yorker subscription department.” – Marge Simpson

In an attempt to fill the summer with love, hate and pointless Simpsons commentary we at the Dead Homer Society are going to spend some time overthinking Season 8.  Why Season 8?  Because Season 8 is when The Simpsons really began to deteriorate into Zombie Simpsons.  That’s why.  Because we’re cutting edge and ultra-modern we’re using a newfangled, information-superhighway fad called a “chatroom” to conduct our conversation.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “scotch” and “crotch”).

Today’s episode is 820 “The Canine Mutiny“.

Charlie Sweatpants: Thoughts on Santos L Halper?

Mad Jon: I fucking hate episodes where Bart ‘learns a lesson’

But it wasn’t as bad as Bart The Mother or the one where he steals the video game

Charlie Sweatpants: This is a good companion episode for Poochie I think because the stories are both pretty formulaic (and I’ll say weak as well), but Canine Mutiny has more memorable gags and so I’ve got a much higher opinion of it.

Mad Jon: Yeah I for sure like the gags. But it’s unfortunate that the plot is so heinous

Charlie Sweatpants: Wiggum and ‘Jammin’ at the end, the “two towns over” thing, Lisa’s pep pills, Wiggum acting like a little kid when Bart gives him the dog, I love all of that.

But yeah, the story makes no sense.

Mad Jon: For instance, the Contest I just attributed to the Poochie episode, and the Homer’s comments about giving and “There there, shut up boy”

Charlie Sweatpants: Oh yeah.

And, “You know how I feel about giving!” The contempt and the anger in his voice is just priceless, especially coming from the man who wanted to put a Shake&Bake coupon in the church collection plate.

Mad Jon: ha ha ha

Dave: I’m not saying anything because I’d just be repeating you guys

Of the two episodes we’re discussing tonight, this is easily the worst

Charlie Sweatpants: You think so?

For me, there’s more quotable stuff in this one and since I think the plots in both are dumb I give the win to Canine Mutiny.

Dave: I can sit thorough Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie without too much groaning

Charlie Sweatpants: There is some groan worthy crap in this one, and way way way too much of the sad string music that means drama/moral choice.

Dave: Canine Mutiny is a bit too scatterbrained and unfunny

Charlie Sweatpants: Scatterbrained is a good way to put it.

Dave: Shit just happens.

Mad Jon: The Santa’s little helper sight gags, ala him at the window or running into the door, were pretty good.

And the speech Bart gets from the collection agent is priceless

Charlie Sweatpants: That is a great speech.

When can I tell my supervisor, Mr Robinson, to expect payment?

Hehe.

But one thing that struck me as really disappointing, and I bitched about it at the time, was the “6 to 8 Weeks Later” bit. Oh sure, it’s funny, but they already did that EXACT SAME THING, literally word for word, in Marge in Chains.

Dave: I never noticed that

Mad Jon: Well, bart wouldn’t have learned a lesson otherwise

Charlie Sweatpants: You lost me there, Jon.

Mad Jon: This show can’t live without a decent plot, and I think they’ve always known that. So to maintain the plot line of this episode, the writers had to move forward in time. It didn’t work, but they tried.

Like we’ve all said, there were good gags, but we are discussing the episode for a reason

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, but the 6 to 8 weeks thing was for when he was getting the credit card, not for when he ordered something.

Oh I agree, the plot sucks.

Mad Jon: Still necessary

“Still got no hair on his balls…”

Charlie Sweatpants: Again, you’re losing me.

I get the Airheads reference, but why?

Mad Jon: It was the emotion Pip was conveying that I was trying to capture

Charlie Sweatpants: Ah.

Mad Jon: But I, again, have failed at all but the most modest of tasks you have given me

Charlie Sweatpants: You have been drinking.

Mad Jon: I should become a writer for the Simpsons

Charlie Sweatpants: Your liver wouldn’t last.

Mad Jon: Good point

Dave: Heh

Charlie Sweatpants: Imagine how drunk you’d need to be to find the shit they put on now amusing.

Dave: I’d be dead.

Mad Jon: I don’t think alcohol would do it. I’d probably have to move to meth mountain

Charlie Sweatpants: Anyway, while we’re still here, any other favorite parts from this one?

I’m a fan of the Covet House catalog.

Dave: I liked Bart’s line about dancing around the maypole

Charlie Sweatpants: I like Baby Gerald, Maggie’s enemy.

Did you look at his face when Quimby is talking? He’s just so filled with contempt.

Mad Jon: Bart’s application is pretty funny

“Whatever I finds, I keeps”

Which probably would have flown on a credit application in the mid-late nineties

Charlie Sweatpants: It would’ve flown on a credit card application until about September of last year.

Which reminds me of another great line, “Dear occupant, because of your fine credit history . . . ”

Dave: True

Mad Jon: I also like when Wiggum knocks down the blind guy’s door and then rings the doorbell\

Charlie Sweatpants: And it wasn’t the first door he kicked in, either.

Mad Jon: yeah, ha ha

Charlie Sweatpants: Of course, that comes after the extremely drawn out and painful, Bart sneaking around the blind guy’s house scene.

Mad Jon: yeah, that was pretty boring.

Dave: Did either of you notice that the dead parrot’s bowtie?

Charlie Sweatpants: I guess I noticed the bowtie, was it a reference to something?

Mad Jon: But I didn’t notice the tie

Dave: I don’t think it was a reference to anything in particular, but I thought it was the highlight of the awful blind man scene

Mad Jon: ah

Charlie Sweatpants: I was fond of his explanation for having weed.

Mad Jon: Ha, I liked that too

Charlie Sweatpants: Though why he had the weed in his pocket in the middle of the night is another reason why the plot just sucked ass.

Plenty of people keep weed in their living rooms, it’s not like it had to be there.

Lazy story telling.

Mad Jon: yeah, what kind of pot head isn’t so lazy he actually puts his (or hers I guess) things away

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, anything else before we wrap this up?

Mad Jon: I got nothing, this episode has not inspired me to try and defend it in any way, however it also doesn’t deserve the ire of which I am capable when talking about Zombie Simpsons.