“Well, I’m gonna be a famous jazz musician!  I’ve got it all figured out.  I’ll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French.  I’ll avoid the horrors of drug abuse, but I do plan to have several torrid love affairs.  And I may or may not die young, I haven’t decided.” – Lisa Simpson

Yeardley Smith, whom the AP Style guide apparently requires be referred to as “the voice of Lisa Simpson” in all articles, popped up twice this week.  She’s still doing the microfinance thing, and will be speaking at a convention at the end of the month.  And she’s co-producing a movie.  Go Yeardley.  In addition to that we’ve got lots (and lots) of usage, an old Flash game, and quite possibly the coolest (literally) Milhouse poster you will ever see. 

Enjoy.

Who Says Martha Doesn’t Have A Sense of Humor? – We mentioned this on Twitter yesterday, but it deserves mentioning again: Martha Stewart will be on a Christmas episode this December as part of Season . . . ugh . . . 22. 

How to Add New Product Features – I always like my generic business advice mixed in with Simpsons:

Make sure it’s in-line with the product — every new feature must make sense. If a new feature does not make sense to the target audience, it could ultimately damage products sales. In a classic episode of the Simpsons, Homer is charged with the task of adding new features to a car for the “everyday man.” At the end of the day, Homer created a monstrosity of an auto that was completely out of line with the current product offering. It obviously failed because a tail-fin or a bubble dome are not new features are not natural features to the “everyday man” car.

T-Shirt Shows The Simpson’s Springfield In 3D – Don’t be mislead, it’s really just an outline drawing of various Simpsons characters with Homer’s head overlaid (wearing 3D glasses).  Mildly amusing. 

Bart Simpson’s Naked Skate – This is a Flash game that looks like it was made to hype the movie.  I’d never seen it before though.  It’s kinda fun. 

It Was Like That When I Got Here – Discussing how our financial betters got us into the present economic mess, we get double excellent usage.  First:

The headlines in the financial press lately sound like a litany of Homer Simpson’s three little sentences that will get you through life:
Number 1: Cover for me. (Citigroup to – allegedly – Oliver Wyman for recommending it enter into structured finance).
Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! (Alan Greenspan on how Congress would not have let him put the brakes on the housing bubble.) 
Number 3: It was like that when I got here. (Robert Rubin testifying to Congress about his time at Citigroup. )

Nailed all three of them.  That’s excellent usage all by itself, but then at the end we get even more:

BTW, Goldman Sachs is channelling Lisa Simpson instead of Homer. Accused of ‘betting against its own clients’ it stood firm in its annual report by defending what it did as normal trading practices and hedging. Which is true. But a few clients might have stepped in the way when they shouldn’t have and got burnt.
As Lisa said: "You can’t create a monster, then whine when it stomps on a few buildings."

Lisa has an “and” before “then”, and says “he” instead of “it”, but other than that it’s dead on.  Combined with the one above, that’s the rare double excellent usage.  Bravo. 

Lauren’s Little Moment of Win – We’ve mentioned this before, but I don’t care.  I like that there’s a Simpsons mole at whatever company writes the program descriptions:

Today my digital cable guide described "Matlock" as "Grampa Simpson’s favorite show". IMMD.

Facebook Fun Default Pics – Not sure where these came from, but the Homer and Marge outline is kinda neat. 

Column: Don’t Mess with March Madness – I 100% agree with the point of this article, expanding the NCAA tournament to 96 teams is really fucking stupid.  But this quote, while perfectly apt, isn’t quite kosher:

But $700 million is not enough. Why? Because, to the NCAA, it is never enough. It reminds me of an exchange between Homer Simpson and his boss, Monty Burns. When Homer says, “You’re the richest man I know.” Burns says. “Yes. But you know, I’d trade it all for just a little more.”

Here’s the actual exchange:

Homer: You’re the richest guy I know, way richer than Lenny.
Burns: Ah yes, but I’d trade it all for a little more.

Moderate usage, excellent point. 

2nd Annual San Diego Microfinance Summit – This is pretty much all you need to know:

The 2nd Annual San Diego Microfinance Summit will be held on April 28th at the University Of San Diego. The event is put on by the San Diego Microfinance Summit, a collaborative group of microfinance organizations, volunteers, students, and the public of San Diego who are committed to educating and involving people in microfinance. The event will feature keynote speaker Yeardley Smith, avid microfinance supporter and more commonly know as the voice of Lisa Simpson on the hit TV show “The Simpsons”.

Keynote speaker! 

Friday Slide: Should The ESRB Come To The App Store? – Homer actually says “everyone”, not “everybody”, but this is still excellent usage:

Homer Simpson once said, "Everybody is stupid except me" shortly before falling asleep with a cigar in his mouth and setting his house on fire.

Arizona Rattlers channel their inner Bill Veeck, give tickets away for free – The Arizona Rattlers of the reborn Arena Football League are giving away tickets to their home opener:

The Arizona Rattlers have decided to make quite a splash for their first home game in almost two years and it immediately conjured up a quote from the Simpsons in my mind–although pretty much everything in life can be connected to a Simpsons quote.

Marge:Do you really think we can afford this?
Homer: Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can afford it.

The actual exchange is:

Marge: Do you really think we can afford it?
Homer: Nothing a month?  Yeah, I think we can swing that.

Still, it’s apt and mostly correct so I’m calling it moderate usage. 

josh’s top 10 sitcoms – I think we all know what’s #1, what I was puzzled by was Wings at #4.  Different strokes for different folks, I guess. 

Wear It Like a Badge – Sweet Milhouse poster/image from circa Season 5.

Simpsons Valentines Day – This is a dream blog recounting a dream the author had involving the Simpsons.  It’s better constructed than most Zombie Simpsons episodes. 

Father and son back onstage – I know very little about Czech culture, but now I know slightly more.  Also, there’s this:

Spejbl’s family adventures will doubtless remind Americans of another comedic family, the Simpsons. Spejbl and Hurvínek are much older than Homer and Bart, of course, but the connection is apt. Helena Štáchová, the voice of Mánička and Mrs. Kateřina, as well as the director of the theater, also plays the voice of Lisa Simpson in the Czech-language version of the American cartoon.

"To be honest, it is really difficult to describe how I do it, but I think it is not too different from my own voice," Štáchová said. "It’s the kind of voice that could be considered a falsetto."

This Pig has had a Good Life – Mercifully this is not about Spider Pig, it’s rather a thoughtful post about why you should know a little more about where your meat comes from.  Unfortunately, it has a completely slaughtered quote at the end:

Remember Homer and Lisa Simpson’s poignant conversation:

“(Lisa) “I’m going to become a vegetarian” (Homer) “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?” “Yes” “Bacon?” “Yes Dad” Ham?” “Dad all those meats come from the same animal” “Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!””

That is . . . not close: 

Homer: Lisa, honey, are you saying you’re never going eat any animal again?  What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad!  Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Yeah right, Lisa, a wonderful, magical animal.

They got the ending kinda right, but that’s still poor usage.

We Can’t Wait: WHAT’S WRONG WITH VIRGINIA – Yeardley Smith is an executive produce and has a supporting role in the upcoming movie “What’s Wrong with Virginia”.  The synopsis:

A drama in which a psychologically disturbed woman (Connelly) who has engaged in a 20-year illicit love affair with a sheriff (Harris), who is running for the state senate, is tested when her son begins a relationship with his daughter (Roberts).

By the way, that would be Jennifer Connelly, Ed Harris, and Emma Roberts. 

Homer Simpson turning into more and more of an @$$hole – And finally, I get to end the way I like to, with other people who agree with us.  Check out this thread at digitalspy.co.uk, some choice highlights:

I think you’re over 10 years late with this post. Homer started becoming an asshole around the time of the gay episode- which was way back in 1997. That episode was around the same time the show’s quality started to decline- they should have axed it then rather than keep dragging it on.

And:

Homer used to be the best thing about The Simpsons for me. But he’s just so over-the-top now that he gives me a headache having to listen to him.

The only good thing to come out of it is that I enjoy watching the old Simpson episodes even more now, knowing how bad the new ones are.

I like that attitude.