"Listen, I’m not going to lie to you, those are all superior machines.  But, if you like to watch your TV, and I mean really watch it, you want the Carnivale.  It features: two pronged wall plug, pre-molded hand grip well, durable outer casing to prevent fall apart." – Outlet Mall Salesman
“Sold!  You wrap it up, I’ll start bringing in the pennies.” – Homer Simpson