“Grampa, Mom was in such a hurry she forgot to give you this.  It’s a list of the things Lisa and I can and can’t do.” – Bart Simpson
“Eh heh . . . uh huh . . . you’re allowed to smoke cigars?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Regular readers will know that we’re not big on lists around here.  It’s not that lists in general are bad, it’s just that I don’t think top/bottom ten/fifteen/hundred/what have you really applies to The Simpsons or to Zombie Simpsons.  In the former there are too many great episodes, in the latter there are too many that are indistinguishably bland and pointless.  None of that, however, means that we don’t link to lists around here, and this week we have two awesome regular lists and one podcast that sort of has a list.  There’s also the planning stages of a sweet looking gingerbread house, plenty of YouTube, Harry Shearer’s take on the BP disaster, another Simpsons inspired tattoo, and some excellent usage.  As always, feel free to post anything else Simpsons related in comments (self promotional linking is perfectly cromulent).

Enjoy.

Top 10: Simpsons Episodes – This is Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week, not only for being a list that doesn’t include any Zombie Simpsons, but also for the excellent anti-Zombie Simpsons introduction.  Here’s a taste:

Any show that has been on television for 20-plus years is going to turn bad at some point, and while many fans may disagree with me, I personally find that point to be at the conclusion of its eighth, and greatest season. There are some highlights in Seasons 9 and 10. There are none, that I’ve seen, after that.  [Ed. note:  this is 100% unadulterated fact]

That editor’s note is in the original, by the way. 

The Simpsons – The planning stage for a Simpsons gingerbread house, including a nice picture of the blueprints.  Good luck! 

Cartoons of the 90s For Kids or Adults? – I’m not sure if this is a gossip column or an advice column, and I wouldn’t bother reading the text if I were you.  But the picture of a guy in a Homer suit about to turn something off is kinda funny.  Kinda.

. – Marge, It’s 3am . . . (The title is just that period, sorry.)

Nostalgia! – This link contains links to a five part Top 15 from back in 2007 (also, flagrant false advertising).  It is very detailed, with lots of quotes and screen grabs.  The only double digit episode is “Behind the Laughter”, which really really should’ve been the series finale and is much better than almost everything else in Season 11. 

Iain Morrison: Problems Dan Parks can’t kick away – I don’t know anything about rugby, but this is excellent usage:

In one of his more lucid insights into the human condition Homer Simpson once declared: "Beer, the cause of, and the solution to, all of life’s problems".

For "beer" read Dan Parks and you get some idea of the conundrum facing Andy Robinson after three EMC autumn internationals. The Australian playmaker is the crux of Scotland’s recent run of excellence (overlooking the All Blacks fiasco) and he is at the heart of Scotland’s woes.

It’s slightly misquoted (it’s “to alcohol”, not “beer”) but, for as many times as this quote gets used, rarely does it apply so well, so it’s still excellent usage.

Bart Simpson Cake!! – It looks more like a regular (albeit awesome looking) cake with Homer and Marge on top, but whatever.  It’s still neat and, judging by the background, someone ordered it for a big party, so huzzah for that. 

Homer Junior High School – In the little town of Homer, NY, there is a Homer Junior High, or HoJu. 

Satirist and New Orleans resident Harry Shearer talks about the Gulf oil spill and more – An audio interview with Harry Shearer about his New Orleans movie.  As usual, Shearer is funny and biting, though most of the interview is about the BP spill not Katrina. 

The 3 Biggest TV Mysteries of Our Childhoods – You can probably guess which is #1. 

Atlas Summer: Part III: Chapter I: Atlantis – It’s not hard to poke holes in Atlas Shrugged, but it takes style to do it with Simpsons YouTube:

There’s the fact that Rand creates a frictionless plane of Objectivist society: a society peopled entirely by genuises in every conceivable discipline, all of them completely committed to the same ideology, a near autarkical economy, and not a looter or hobo to be found for miles, and she STILL needs to invoke a magical power source to make the thing viable.

Unless Lisa Simpson moves to Galt’s Gulch, those dudes are SOL.

Zombie Flanders – What the hell, how about some more YouTube:

Skip The Mall: 10 indie retailers in Ferndale for your holiday gift-buying pleasure – Unless you’re planning on doing some shopping in and around Detroit you don’t need to click.  I just like this as a demonstration of the reach of the show:

American Pop; 175 W. Nine Mile: This shop is indescribably wonderful. Like John Waters’ store on "The Simpsons," this is the place for classic toys, kitschy furniture, and all manner of novelties like robot art, practical jokes, and vintage Coca-Cola products. All while “A Christmas Story” plays on the store TV. American Pop also offers works from local artists and candy.

Tasty tats: Foodies get inked for the love of grub – A tattoo homage to Homer’s love of one magical animal.

An Artful Post: 11/28/2010 – Click for a rather odd but strangely sweet fan sketch of Mr. Burns. 

The Jonah Keri Podcast, Episode 9 – This is mostly about sports (including the Saskatchewan Roughriders!), but towards the end is a nice little Simpsons discussion.  Both guys obviously know the show well, struggle to pick a top three, and are quite certain that things have gone badly downhill. 

Scrabble: A Game of Quones and Kwyjibos – Nothing is immune from the reach of the Simpsons, even descriptions of Scrabble:

And yet if we look at Scrabble’s existence in pop culture we see that this may not be the case; even Homer Simpson plays Scrabble, fat, dumb, balding North American ape that he is.

The Simpsons Game Review for the Nintendo Wii – A video review that’s mostly positive. 

#131; Whatever happened to The Simpsons? – And finally, I get to end the way I like to, with someone who agrees with us:

The Simpsons definitely deserves it’s status as arguably the greatest family on television and the greatest cartoon to be placed on the airwaves but it’s just gone on a bit too long now and it’s shown for far too long. Constant celebrity cameos, poor stories and just a lower quality of entertainment shows the strain constantly. That couch is just waiting to be sat on for good.

Indeed.  Time to sit down.