“This just in, Krusty the Klown staged a press conference today to defend himself against charges that his products are unsafe, his theme park is a death trap, and that he’s marketing videos of Tonya Harding’s wedding night.” – Kent Brockman
“And I contend that those tourists were decapitated before they entered the Krustyland House of Knives.  Next question.” – Krusty the Klown