“Where are the dice?” – Lisa Simpson “Daddy says dice are wicked.” – Todd Flanders “We just move one space at a time. It’s less fun that way.” – Rod Flanders
Month: July 2011
Quote of the Day
“Always use fresh macaroni. If the box rattles, throw it away.” – Kent Brockman
Reading Digest: FOX Doesn’t Want You Watching Edition
“Don’t look at me! Don’t look at me!” – Clancy Bouvier There was a lot of (content-deficient) news about Zombie Simpsons coming out of Comic-Con this week, a bit of which I’ve linked below. Long story short: it’s going to be just as dull as Season 22, which was just as dull as Season 21, which was just as dull as Season 20, and so forth. They released a promotional clip from the Halloween episode, but when I went to watch it on YouTube it said that it’d been taking down due to a copyright claim by FOX. Morons. In…
Quote of the Day
“This plant violates every labor law in the book. We found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in your reactor core.” – Department of Labor Agent “That plane crashed on my property!” – C.M. Burns
“The Blunder Years” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“When are we going to get to my first word?” – Lisa Simpson “Your what what?” – Homer Simpson “My first word!” – Lisa Simpson “Ah, you don’t want to hear that story. I know, I’ll tell you about the time I got locked in the bank vault with Mr. Mooney. It was another one of my harebrained schemes.” – Homer Simpson “Dad!” – Lisa Simpson “Wait a minute, that was The Lucy Show!” – Homer Simpson I like to point out how they frequently ignore the episode during a lot of these Zombie Simpsons commentaries, but for the actual…
Quote of the Day
“We’re not coming down until our jobs are reinstated and you acknowledge and celebrate our love.” – Principal Skinner “No one would like to celebrate your love more than I, but I am a public servant and not permitted to use my own judgment in any way.” – Superintendent Chalmers
“Saturdays of Thunder” Spews Truth
“Dear God, not again!” – Dave from the National Fatherhood Institute Toward the end of this commentary, right after Martin slaps Bart to get him to pay attention, Jean comments on how much violence there is in this one. He laughs as he recalls that it might have been a reaction to how stressed out everyone was while they were doing this. I can’t comment on that, but he’s right that there are a lot of violent images in here (Nelson whipping Bart as they race, Martin crashing and getting set on fire, even the unfortunate shark attack). The difference…
Quote of the Day
“You see, boy? The real money’s in bootlegging, not in your childish vandalism.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, so many wasted nights.” – Bart Simpson
Guest Stars Then & Now
– By Gran2 The plethora of Season 22 guest stars filled me with rage. This show is bad enough already without Danica Patrick, Paul Rudd or Mark ‘Facebook’ Zuckerberg turning up to dig it even closer to Earth’s core. I dreaded hearing Al Jean rattle off next season’s list at Comic-Con (spoilers: It included Michael Cera). The point is: guest stars suck now. The really obscure ones suck because you have no idea who they are, or why they are there (pretty much every guest star from seasons 11 and 12 falls into to this category, or maybe that’s because…
Quote of the Day
“Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked. Aw, come on, continue. Come on, aww . . . alright, Lou, open fire.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Homer Simpson here.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, it’s your stockbroker. Your stock in the power plant just went up for the first time in ten years.” – Stockbroker “I own stock?” – Homer Simpson “Yes, all the employees got some in exchange for waiving certain Constitutional rights.” – Stockbroker [Edit 13 September 2011: Just noticed I had an extra “s” in the first line. Fixed.]
Quote of the Day
“So, Homer, please feel free to tell us anything. There’s no judgment here.” – Rev. Lovejoy “The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.” – Homer Simpson “I cast thee out!” – Rev. Lovejoy
Old Simpsons References Explained in New Ways
“Who are you?” – Homer Simpson “Homer, I’m your guardian angel. I’ve assumed the form of someone you would recognize and revere, Sir Isaac Newton.” – Guardian Angel “Sir Isa Who-ton?” – Homer Simpson “Oh, very well.” – Guardian Angel “Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?” – Homer Simpson Anyone reading this site has probably had the experience of watching The Simpsons and realizing that something (a scene, a joke, or just a quick image) is a parody while not quite knowing what’s being referenced. Sometimes, even if you do know the source, you don’t know it well…
Quote of the Day
“Bart, you’ve got to go on.” – Music Flunky “Slag off!” – Bart Simpson “You’ve changed, man. It used to be about the music.” – Milhouse van Houten “I said slag off!” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: Everyone Thinks the Same Thing Edition
Image (which I couldn’t embiggen) shamelessly yoinked from here. “Oh please, Lisa, everyone’s already figured that out.” – Marge Simpson The indisputably big news this week was the appearance of the fabulous Murdoch boys in front of the British Parliament. With the elder Murdoch alternately nodding off and generally seeming disconnected (or doing a very good impression thereof) while the younger one frequently leapt to answer questions whether they were directed at him or not, the entire world started making jokes about Burns and Smithers. Both became trending topics on Twitter, and the comparison was mentioned in everything from newspapers…
Quote of the Day
“Troy, this circle is you.” – Brad Goodman “My god, it’s like you’ve known me all my life!” – Troy McClure Happy birthday Albert Brooks!
Crazy Noises: I’m With Cupid
“Drinking will help us plan.” – Moe For the third summer in a row, we at the Dead Homer Society are looking to satisfy your off-season longing for substandard commentary on substandard Simpsons. This summer we’ll be looking at Season 10. Why Season 10? Because we’ve already done Seasons 8 and 9 and we can’t put it off any longer. Prior to Season 10, we watched as the show started falling over, this is when it fell over. And while the dust wouldn’t settle completely for another season or so, there is no bigger gap in quality than the one…
Quote of the Day
“I have every right to be on that jury, even though I got there because I’m sleeping with the head of the festival.” – Homer Simpson “How many times have I heard Rex Reed say that?” – Jay Sherman Happy birthday Jon Lovitz!
Crazy Noises: Homer to the Max
“Kids, there’s three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!” – Max Power “Isn’t that the wrong way?” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, but faster!” – Max Power For the third summer in a row, we at the Dead Homer Society are looking to satisfy your off-season longing for substandard commentary on substandard Simpsons. This summer we’ll be looking at Season 10. Why Season 10? Because we’ve already done Seasons 8 and 9 and we can’t put it off any longer. Prior to Season 10, we watched as the show started falling over,…
Dana Gould: Simpsons > Zombie Simpsons
“In light of these new facts, of which I now realize I was largely aware, I must take action.” – Mayor Quimby Remember Dana Gould? He was one of the two Zombie Simpsons writers in Spurlock’s 20th anniversary special who took petulant, off topic swipes at people who say Zombie Simpsons sucks. His nonsensical quote, in full: “The people who say ‘It was never as good as it was five years ago’, it’s like well, neither are you, that’s the problem.” Set aside the fact that “never as good as it was” is self contradicting, we know what he means. …