“Check it out, Spinal Tap kicking Muammar Gaddafi in the butt, the timeless classic, now two for a dollar.” – T-Shirt Guy

We’ve got two links this week to old but excellent bootleg clothing, one a T-shirt, the other what looks like a handmade sweater.  It’s almost needless to say, but both have a lot more personality than the official crap.   In addition to that we’ve got a list of NFL coaches and the Simpsons characters they (kinda) resemble, a long review of an ancient video game, and a couple of long posts about old Simpsons. 

Enjoy.

GRAPHICS: Average Daily Food Intake of Homer Simpson, Seinfeld Cast & Garfield – Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week is this series of pictures guessing at and illustrating how much certain fictional characters eat.  Homer clocks in at an amazing 24,929 calories, of which 24% is donuts and beer. 

BLACK BART SIMPSON – An early 1990s MC Hammer/Michael Jordan/Black Bart t-shirt.  Bootleg stuff is always so much more fun. 

Comparing All 32 NFL Head Coaches to Simpsons Characters – This is an epic post with a great deal of YouTube.  As you’d expect, some of the comparisons are a stretch, but others are dead on.  Bill Belichick as Mr. Burns was an obvious call, ditto Pete Carroll as Lyle Lanley, a man who knows how to get the fuck outta Dodge.  I was also impressed with Gary Kubiak as Homer.  For those of you who don’t follow the NFL, Kubiak has managed to take a talented team and make them terrible, and his in-game decision making is often . . . puzzling.  Long story short, there’s no reason he should still have his job, and yet he does.  Oh, and Rex Ryan got to be Bart.  That seems about right. 

Cowabunga Man – A fantastic collection of Simpsons stuff.  The star of the show is an awesome homemade sweater with Lisa and Maggie.

The GodisaGeek Retro Corner: Bart’s Nightmare – Long review of the old “Bart’s Nightmare” video game.

SDCC 2011 Pin Ups – Here’s a picture of the Comic Book Guy pin Hallmark was selling at Comic-Con this year.  (Also, this blog is called “Worrier Princess”, which is a fantastic title.)

A Pony! – Sure, every kid wants a pony, but why get one when you can spend the same amount of money on an education?

Bart Simson Yugoslav Twitter | BARTSIMSON_REAL Twitter account | Parody Bart Simpson Twitter – It’s a Yugoslavian Bart Simpsons twitter account.  You read that correctly.  Direct twitter link goes here.

Bart Simpsons Nail art. – A picture of a rather excellent Bart drawn on a thumbnail.  Well done.

Twenty-Year Difference – Okay, sure, there are a lot of things better now than there were in 1991, but at least there were good new Simpsons episodes then.

Watch Footage of Game Working on "The R.E.D." Album – Want to see a behind the scenes video in which Drake raps “I love your ass like Milhouse love Lisa”?  It’s at 1:40 in the video. 

Lessons From A Lady – This almost sounds like fan fiction erotica.  Almost:

2- People who work at shooting ranges do not find it amusing when you employ Simpsons references while renting a handgun from them to teach a girl how to shoot. ‘Hi, I’d like your deadliest gun please’ and ‘I feel this incredible surge of power, like god must feel… when he’s holding a gun’, did not endear me to the rangemaster. Then again…

3- Chicks who watch The Simpsons will give you road head on the way back from the gun range if you employ Simpsons references while renting a handgun to teach them how to shoot. Symmetry is beauty.

Hooray for Simpsons related vehicular oral sex! 

Blog: Classic Simpsons – Blog posts like this one come across my screen with some regularity.  It opens with a mild defense of Zombie Simpsons, saying the show “delivered the goods a vast majority of the time”, and then proceeds to praise an episode from Season 5 as the best ever.  People want to talk and write about The Simpsons, but many of them feel this need to preemptively declare that they aren’t a big meanie who thinks Zombie Simpsons sucks.  Anyway, it picks up after that, praising “Cape Feare” and briefly acknowledging that the show has “declined in the past few years”. 

MTV Viral Video Show Ridiculousness Is A Poor Imitation Of Tosh.0 & Web Soup – Apparently, MTV wants to get into the “showing internet memes on the teevee” game.  Which prompted this apt comparison:

Let’s face it, Ridiculousness is the epitome of Homer Simpson’s soliloquy in the episode called The Springfield Connection: These are the people who saw an overcrowded market, and said, “Me, too!”

Heh.  Also, excellent usage.

8 of the biggest sitcom nerds of all-time – Milhouse narrowly loses to Steve Urkel for the top spot.

The Stephens (King and Spielberg) are at it again with Under the Dome – That Stephen King book that had a plot kinda similar to the movie is going to be made into an HBO mini-series.  That is all.

Harry Shearer to play Richard Nixon in TV film – It’s pretty much what the headline says. 

1994 – A home video version of the last act of “Dog of Death” in . . . Dutch?  I don’t think it’s German, but I’m really not sure what it is.  Strangely watchable.

Feminism: Don’t be a douche – You can always count on “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”.

Simpsonology – You really can relate just about anything to The Simpsons.  I don’t think we’re quite to religion level, yet. 

Simpsons – Homer & Clown College – Animated .gif of that.  

Lazy day: Where are my cats?! – YouTube of the first appearance of the cat lady.  I always like how dejected Lisa looks when the train goes by, ruining her segment. 

Hurricane Bonus Edition: Hurricane Neddy – Preparing for Hurricane Irene with ten excellent quotes from “Hurricane Neddy”.

Why Homer Simpson is (barely) half the man he used to be – And finally, I get to end with someone who not only agrees with us, but did so with a couple of Sideshow Bob YouTube clips:

Every episode was fantastic; every beat, every joke, ever line.  It’s better now than when I was a kid.  ”Sideshow Bob Roberts” is so much funnier with added adult sensibilities.  I don’t know where the decline exactly starts, but I know that it is there.  Just look at the film, look at the episodes since and the episodes that lead up to that.  There’s something missing.  Homer is dumber, and there’s nothing about him that redeems him.  He is, now, just a big fat man.

[…]

Homer now?  He’s just a two dimensional joke that, really, gives Marge and his family no reason to continually deal with him.

It’s, I dunno, I miss the heart that The Simpsons used to have.

You are not alone in that.