Our first item this week is a dog that needed emergency surgery because of Simpsons merchandise.  Given the sheer amount and amazing variety of stuff that’s been produced over the years (and the years still to come), anthropologists working a thousand years from now may conclude that this “The Simpsons” was a religious cult based around icon worship.  Also, we’ve got some more about the stamps (which came out this week), a meandering essay about religion and Flanders, and Simpsons usage ranging from top notch to incredibly awful.  

Doh! Dixie The Dog Swallows Simpson Toy – A dog in Scotland ate a chocolate egg with a small, plastic Homer figure hidden in it.  Surgery was required.  At the link there’s a nice X-ray image of the Homer-egg while it was still inside the dog, and there’s a picture of the dog with the thing removed here.  

 Cowabunga, dude! ‘Simpsons’ stamps get special cancellation – For the next thirty days the post office in Springfield, OH will be doing a Bart Simpson cancellation of your Simpsons stamp, all you have to do is write in with a self-addressed Simpsons-stamped envelope.  

Woo hoo! “The Simpsons” Come to Simpsonville with Special Postmarks – Ditto Simpsonville, SC.  

Clash of the toons – A brief history of the always tedious battle between Family Guy and Zombie Simpsons, with a dash of South Park thrown in for good measure.  

Deerhunter frontman talks new EP, future plans – A marathon session of season 17?  Jebus, that’s a depressing thought.  

The Simpsons – A Hive of Venomous Patriarchy – Our friend the Communist Critic is at it again.  

Simpsons Pop-Culture Reference Smackdown! – The New York Times‘ Arts Beat blog provides further proof that referencing pop-culture is pretty much the only thing Zombie Simpsons does.  

‘Draft widow’ gives in to CFL obsession – It’s that time of year again, time for CFL draft mania!  The quote is a tiny bit off, but this still qualifies as excellent usage.  

‘Dollhouse’ exclusive: Alpha breaks his silence! – I am not a ‘Dollhouse’ watcher, but anytime I see an actor refer to himself as having “a Ned Flanders kind of body”, it gets linked.  

What mom really wants – A Canadian survey shows that:

The Cosby Show’s Claire Huxtable rated as respondents’ favourite mom (23%), with Jill Taylor from Home Improvement coming a close second (19%) and Marge Simpson ranked third at 14%. Least favourite? Bree Van De Kamp from Desperate Housewives.

I guess June Cleaver and Morticia Adams weren’t options.  

God is back: How Ned Flanders won the evangelical crusade – Want to read a 3,000 word diatribe on how religion (mostly Jebus) is thriving in today’s society?  No?  How about if I told you it had lots of Ned Flanders in it?  Still no?  Well, I tried.  

Even X-Men Know: Today’s Free Comic Book Day – It’s misquoted but it’s still decent usage.    

Nothing’s impossible – Now this is excellent usage, pertinent and perfectly quoted.  Also, the video of the old-people mask being made is pretty cool.  I still think most old-people makeup in movies and on television looks fake, but it’s not for a lack of effort.  

8 Simpson Chalkboard Gags That Should’ve Landed Bart in Prison (Not Detention) – The actual legal penalties for various evil deeds for which Bart has been punished over the years.  (via)

Lindsay Lohan Is Self-destructive, Say Friends. Duh! – I realize this is a Simpsons site, and that we’re sticklers for good usage in a way that most people would probably find silly, but this isn’t just bad usage, this is straight up pop-culture ignorance on an amazing scale:

As Homer Simpson would say, “Duh!”

Yeah, that’s Homer’s famous catchphrase alright, “Duh!”.  And it’s not like Robert Paul Reyes of News Blaze is some elderly librarian trying to be hip in the church bulletin or the like, he’s writing a gossip column, pop-culture is his stock in trade.  Epic fail.  (Also, fuck you for making me click on a Lindsay Lohan story.)  

Top 10 ‘Simpsons’ Prank Calls – Why is this at the Chicago Tribune‘s website?  Who cares?  It’s funny and there’s nary a one from Zombie Simpsons.  The list bears a striking resemblance to this page at SNPP, including a couple of minor quoting errors, so methinks Mike Holtzclaw didn’t exactly look these up himself.  Shame on him for not linking, but hooray for prank call lists.  

For whatever it’s worth, in my experience SNPP does a better job than anyone else at strict quote accuracy, but even they’ve got a few little misses.  Sometimes these are debatable because more than one word fits, but in this case quote #10 on the Tribune link is clearly wrong.  Both it and the SNPP page have part of Moe’s response as, “I’m gonna kill you!” when he actually says “I’ll kill you!”  It’s not, obviously, a big deal, but it does show that Holtzclaw copied these and didn’t link instead of looking them up himself.