“Okay, I’ll just even this out and . . . Mr. Lazwell, I’ve done it again.” – Squeaky Voiced Barber College Student
Tag: Dog of Death
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Of course, I’m not the only one who benefited from last week’s big payoff. Our state’s schools got their share too. Here lottery officials present Springfield Elementary with a brand new eraser.” – Kent Brockman “One eraser? Oh, I’m used to my government betraying me. I was in Nam! I served for three-” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Recapping our day’s top story, the winner of today’s state lottery is . . . me, Kent Brockman. Can we get a shot of me? There you go.” – Kent Brockman
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Hmm….” – Homer Simpson “No!” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Have you found a picture yet?” – Lisa Simpson “Not one I want the public to see.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“So, recycling is our way of giving mother earth a great big hug!” – Ned Flanders “Yes, well, it does sound like fun. I can’t wait to start pawing through my garbage like some starving raccoon.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Take a hike, boss. I’m running things now.” – Golden Homer “All hail King Homer.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“I buy one lottery ticket a week with the girls at the hair salon. We each play our birthday and that’s enough excitement for me.” – Marge Simpson “You don’t understand, Marge. The lottery is the one ray of hope in my otherwise unbearable life! . . . Uh, the lottery and you.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What makes a man endanger his job and, yes, even his life, by asking me for money?” – C.M. Burns “People like dogs, Mr. Burns.” – Mr. Smithers “Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?” – C.M. Burns “If you did it, sir?” – Mr. Smithers “Exactly. You’d be fit to be tied.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“They’re about to start, Chief.” – Lou “No, you got the wrong number. This is nine-one…two.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Teeny needs a refill of his nicotine gum.” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Let me pet him again.” – Homer Simpson “You already petted him for ten minutes!” – Lisa Simpson “I know. I want to pet him again.” – Homer Simpson “You can pet the cat.” – Marge Simpson “The cat? What’s the point?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, how come he gets meat and we don’t?” – Homer Simpson “You wouldn’t want what he’s eating. It’s mostly just snouts and entrails.” – Marge Simpson “Mmmm, snouts.” – Homer Simpson
Zombie Simpsons on Wikipedia
“Lisa, I’m afraid we’ll have to stop getting you those volumes of Encyclopedia Generica from the grocery store.” – Marge Simpson “But, Mom, next week is Volume IV, Copernicus through Elephantiasis.” – Lisa Simpson Wikipedia has a simple test for whether or not something merits its own article: notability. Like the rest of Wikipedia, it doesn’t work in theory, only in practice, and the current guidelines list five criteria: "Significant coverage" means that sources address the subject directly in detail, so no original research is needed to extract the content. "Reliable" means sources need editorial integrity to allow verifiable evaluation of notability "Sources", for notability purposes, should be secondary sources, as those provide the most objective evidence of notability. "Independent of the subject" excludes works produced by those affiliated with the subject or its creator. "Presumed" means that significant coverage in reliable sources establishes a presumption, not a guarantee, that a subject is suitable for inclusion. Basically, “notability” means that someone besides the subject or its author is discussing something and that there are multiple citable sources of such discussion. In that vein, Wikipedia has now brought us: Quality issue of The Simpsons The missed capitalization and odd phrasing of the title are in the original, but don’t let that throw you, the article is a remarkable piece of work. (And I’m not just saying that because it cites us several times.) There are two primary authors, Coin945 and Martarius, and while I have no idea who they are, they have pulled together a staggering number of sources and references from articles discussing the decline and fall of the show. From a readability standpoint the article is way too long (someone on the Talk page pegs it at 17,000 words). But they have amassed 173 individual sources documenting criticisms, and a few defenses, of the quality of the show. As someone who has a little experience researching and writing about the show and its descent, I am awed by that. Just organizing all of those had to be an enormous amount of work, and good on them for doing it. The sheer scale may make it tough to read all the way through, and I’m sure it’ll get pared down eventually, but they’ve got an outline of the opinions around the show that looks fairly accurate, and that’s a valuable thing to have. Three cheers for notability and diligent Wiki/Simpsons geeks! Well done.
Quote of the Day
“Strap on your bullet proof vest, Sanjay, it’s time for another bank run.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Alright, but if I don’t make it, promise you won’t sleep with my wife.” – Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon “I promise nothing.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“I’m looking for something in an attack dog, one who likes the sweet, gamey tang of human flesh.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. I am going to win this lottery.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, the odds are three-hundred-and-eighty million to one.” – Marge Simpson “Correction, three-hundred-and-eighty million to fifty!” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to #Simpsons classic “Dog of Death”! Original airdate 12 March 1992.
Quote of the Day
“Good news Mr. Danielson, we saved your gamecock. But I’m afraid he’ll never fight again.” – Veterinary Nurse “That’s what you think! He’ll fight and he’ll win!” – Mr. Danielson
Season 3 Marathon: 24 Episodes, 24 Beers, 9h:12m:06s
“Marge, I’ve figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats.” – Homer Simpson “I don’t think you’ve thought this through.” – Marge Simpson Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Season 3 Simpsons-Beer marathon! Season 7 tightened the gap a little yesterday afternoon, and had been ahead earlier in the week, but Season 3 stayed on top of the poll, and so Season 3 it shall be. Just like the previous marathons, I’m not above using the pause and reverse buttons to get a quote or a screen shot, but there will be absolutely no use of the fast forward button. I’ll update this post at the end of each episode, and you can probably expect the ones later in the day to be a bit more . . . enthusiastic. And now, that first delicious breakfast beer calls. 1. Stark Raving Dad “Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work, everybody wears white shirts. I’m not popular enough to be different.” I love that the power plant has a bare light bulb interrogation room and performs body cavity searches, and then they end up talking about Gilbert & Sullivan. That’s high quality absurdity right there. That’s a really gratuitous crotch grab from Leon on “Billy Jean”. Baseball players would have a hard time getting away with that on network TV. Nice touch: Homer’s wearing the pink shirt in Bart’s lobotomy fantasy. For those of you too young to remember 1991, it’s hard to describe just how huge Michael Jackson was. Imagine if Lady Gaga, Kanye West and Justine Timberlake were the same person, and then quadruple that, I was a kid who wasn’t yet into popular music and I knew who he was. It actually wasn’t that implausible that an entire town would drop what it was doing to go see him. I get that it’s a joke, but still. Bart gets a pretty good sound out of that trash can. And wow is this a great song. 2. Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington Homer’s job specifies an illiterate. The Reading Digest sex tips are great. Nice touch: the eagle in the park has the arrow and the olive branch. “Jingoism” is one of the score categories for the essays. “Brevity Is . . . Wit” Love Barbara Bush’s “damn badges” line. Unlike so many of Zombie Simpsons’ “destination” episodes, the sights the family sees here (VIP badges excepted for comedy) are things that really are right next to each other in D.C. These days they skip from landmark to landmark regardless of sense and it’s really disorienting. Here you never feel like they’ve left reality. We’ve got a lot more than two women Senators now. Good work, Lisa. I’ve only been sightseeing in D.C. once, but I giggled when, sure enough, the Jefferson Memorial was deserted while the Lincoln Memorial had people crawling all over it. Lincoln’s got a more convenient spot, but the contrast is huge. I…
Quote of the Day
“Bleah, the lottery. Exploiter of the poor and ignorant.” – Moe