Tag: Dog of Death

“Okay, I’ll just even this out and . . . Mr. Lazwell, I’ve done it again.” – Squeaky Voiced Barber College Student

“Of course, I’m not the only one who benefited from last week’s big payoff. Our state’s schools got their share too. Here lottery officials present Springfield Elementary with a brand new eraser.” – Kent Brockman “One eraser? Oh, I’m used to my government betraying me. I was in Nam! I served for three-” – Principal Skinner

“Recapping our day’s top story, the winner of today’s state lottery is . . . me, Kent Brockman. Can we get a shot of me? There you go.” – Kent Brockman

“Hmm….” – Homer Simpson “No!” – Marge Simpson

“Have you found a picture yet?” – Lisa Simpson “Not one I want the public to see.” – Marge Simpson

“So, recycling is our way of giving mother earth a great big hug!” – Ned Flanders “Yes, well, it does sound like fun. I can’t wait to start pawing through my garbage like some starving raccoon.” – C.M. Burns

“Take a hike, boss. I’m running things now.” – Golden Homer “All hail King Homer.” – C.M. Burns

“I buy one lottery ticket a week with the girls at the hair salon. We each play our birthday and that’s enough excitement for me.” – Marge Simpson “You don’t understand, Marge. The lottery is the one ray of hope in my otherwise unbearable life! . . . Uh, the lottery and you.” – Homer Simpson

“What makes a man endanger his job and, yes, even his life, by asking me for money?” – C.M. Burns “People like dogs, Mr. Burns.” – Mr. Smithers “Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?” – C.M. Burns “If you did it, sir?” – Mr. Smithers “Exactly. You’d be fit to be tied.” – C.M. Burns

“They’re about to start, Chief.” – Lou “No, you got the wrong number.  This is nine-one…two.” – Chief Wiggum

“Mr. Teeny needs a refill of his nicotine gum.” – Krusty the Klown

“Let me pet him again.” – Homer Simpson “You already petted him for ten minutes!” – Lisa Simpson “I know.  I want to pet him again.” – Homer Simpson “You can pet the cat.” – Marge Simpson “The cat?  What’s the point?” – Homer Simpson

“Hey, how come he gets meat and we don’t?” – Homer Simpson “You wouldn’t want what he’s eating.  It’s mostly just snouts and entrails.” – Marge Simpson “Mmmm, snouts.” – Homer Simpson

“Strap on your bullet proof vest, Sanjay, it’s time for another bank run.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Alright, but if I don’t make it, promise you won’t sleep with my wife.” – Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon “I promise nothing.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

“I’m looking for something in an attack dog, one who likes the sweet, gamey tang of human flesh.” – C.M. Burns

“Good news Mr. Danielson, we saved your gamecock.  But I’m afraid he’ll never fight again.” – Veterinary Nurse “That’s what you think!  He’ll fight and he’ll win!” – Mr. Danielson

“Bleah, the lottery.  Exploiter of the poor and ignorant.” – Moe