“Damn you, Walt Whitman! I! Hate! You! Walt! Freaking! Whitman! ‘Leaves of Grass,’ my ass!” – Homer Simpson (Happy 117th birthday, Walt.)
Month: May 2009
Stanley Cup Finals: Go Red Wings
Playoff hockey works exceptionally well on television: it’s extremely fast, psychotically violent and, especially in a tight game, every possession is terrifying and exhilarating. Mad Jon and I just watched “Lisa on Ice” to get ourselves in the proper mindset. Now, it’s game time. Go Red Wings. Update: Wings win 3-1. No tie games, no need to tear this place apart.
Quote of the Day
“Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we’ve just lost the picture, but, uh, what we’ve seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over – ‘conquered,’ if you will, by a master race of giant space ants. It’s difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.”…
Friday Link Dump – Scotland and Nitpicking Edition
“Now the kilt was only for day to day wear. In battle, we donned a full length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.” – Groundskeeper Willie There’s one example of great usage this week and then several that need help (though I probably over did it). Also there’s a history of homosexual characters on television, video game legalese, a new non-Simpsons blog with a Simpsons title and two posts about Scotland. Out an On Air – A history of gay and lesbian portrayals on television that mentions The Simpsons but doesn’t mention Smithers.…
Quote of the Day
“I wonder why stories of degradation and humiliation make you more popular.” – Homer Simpson “I don’t know, they just do.” Moe Syszlak
The Musical Fruit
“Well, beans were a staple of the Israelites, yes proceed.” – Springfield Christian School Teacher I find this video strangely fascinating. I don’t know if it’s the MIDI-level soundtrack, the way different beans are brought on and off the screen, the fact that Homer’s five o’clock shadow is done twice or the “d’oh” montage at the end (which is taken from “So It’s Come to This”). Whatever it is, it’s neat.
Simpsons Alumni Update: George Meyer
George Meyer was one of the real geniuses who made The Simpsons great. He popped up in last week’s New Yorker mocking airline frequent flyer clubs. Go and read, it’s short. My favorites are Hegira Mach Five, Godhead Supreme and Canadians of Distinction.
Quote of the Day
“Oh, the network slogan is true: Watch Fox and be damned for all eternity!” – Ned Flanders
Quote of the Day
“I know you can read my thoughts Bart. Just a little reminder: If I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say.” – Principal Seymour Skinner
Wait, Orchestra Conductors Actually Do Something?
“Please Krusty, this is very demeaning.” – Sideshow Mel “Shut up and conduct!” – Krusty the Klown The BBC had a game show on last year called “Maestro” where various British celebrities (none of whom this Yank recognized) competed to learn how to conduct an orchestra, with the winner getting to conduct the BBC Orchestra live in Hyde Park. In the first round the eventual winner, Sue Perkins, conducted the Simpsons theme. YouTube, would you do the honors? It’s a little bit different than the version to which we’re all accustomed, but I like it. (You can click here…
Quote of the Day
“Later, I’ll teach you the tricks of the trade: Taping your swimsuit to your butt, petroleum jelly on your teeth for that frictionless smile, and the ancient art of padding. (Purrs.)” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Mrs. Simpson, you’re in luck. Your sexual harassment suit is just the thing I need to rebuild my shattered practice. Care to join me in a belt of scotch?” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“Relax? I can’t relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or… Only two synonyms? (Groans.) Oh my God. I’m losing my perspicacity!” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well, if isn’t the leader of the wiener patrol, boning up on his nerd lessons.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, you should be more supportive.” – Marge Simpson “You’re right Marge. Good work, boy.” – Homer Simpson (Marge leaves.) “Egghead likes his booky-book!” – Homer Simpson “Homer!” – Marge Simpson “Just tucking him in!” – Homer Simpson
Friday Link Dump – Life Imitating Art Edition
“Precious Venus . . .” – Homer Simpson This week we have real Gummy de Milos and a real beheaded statue. There’s also some usage (good and bad), a bunch of British celebrities, shoddy merchandise, and more. Gummi Venus De Milo – Someone made real Gummi de Milos! I’d tell you more but I’m drooling on my keyboard. Click the link for pictures (grad student ass not included). The post is more than a year old, but it’s a little known fact that in the medium of gummi a lack of arms retards spoilage (via). Cloud Talk – Somebody…
Quote of the Day
“Hello Smithers. You’re quite good at turning me on.” – Electronic Mr. Burns “Um… you probably should ignore that.” – Waylon Smithers
Season 12 DVD Info
Season 12 will be coming out on DVD on August 18th. TV Shows on DVD (via) has the full details, including lists of who signed up for commentary duty. Simpsons DVD commentaries are usually pretty bad (too many people talking about things that aren’t really related to the episode), but these are going to be excruciating. I guess I might finally get an explanation as to why on earth anyone thought it was funny to have that crazy woman shouting about “diamonds” over and over again in the Africa episode. Probably not though. I’ve said this before, and I’m…
Quote of the Day
“Mrs. Simpson, if you set out to push the bile to the tip of my throat, mission accomplished. I’m uh, I’m gonna crawl into bed with a bottle of amaretto. Good day.” -Llewelyn Sinclair
How to Hurt Homer
“Oh fudge, that’s broken. Fiddle de dee, that will require a tetanus shot.” – Homer Simpson Let’s face it, watching Homer Simpson suffer is a lot of fun, whether his kids are fighting over who loves him more (You do! No, You do!), his wife’s getting promoted ahead of him, or he’s getting hit in the head with softballs, circular saws or nightsticks. Or, at least, it used to be a lot of fun. Somewhere along the way Zombie Simpsons forgot that Homer’s supposed to be a regular guy. Instead, they turned him into one of those cheap, inflatable punching…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, look at my feet.” – Hank Scorpio “Okay.” – Homer Simpson “You like those moccasins? Look in your closet, there’s a pair for you. Don’t like ’em? Then neither do I. Get the hell outta here! Ha! You ever see a guy say ‘goodbye’ to a shoe?” – Hank Scorpio “Yes, once.” – Homer Simpson