Chalkboard - Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart

“Bart was feeling mighty blue.” – Homer Simpson
It’s a shame what school can do.” – Marge Simpson
“For no reason, here’s Apu.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

Let me start by saying something nice.  It was cool of them to use that one-man rendition of the theme over the end credits.  It blew up on-line a few months ago and everybody loved it, and it’s heartening to see someone get recognition for a genuinely creative endeavor like that. 

Unfortunately, the end credits were about the only part of the episode where there was any spirit of craftsmanship or care.  Everything leading up to them (including the Game of Thrones intro which went on way too long) was a shoddy conglomeration of half considered ideas, time killing filler, and at least three different plot threads, not one of which managed to resolve itself or make any sense.  Bart as a street artist?  That’s not a terrible concept, but in the hands of Zombie Simpsons it turns into a gala opening that was apparently a police sting, except for the three million dollars in sales and post arrest autograph session.  Homer and Apu fighting with tiny plastic cocktail swords?  Another not-terrible idea.  Any time those things are around it’s virtually impossible not to want to do that, but that doesn’t mean we want to see it played out seriously for a full minute.  It gets boring faster than that even when you’re the person doing it. 

Speaking of Apu, he was apparently in this episode, though to what purpose other than yelling incoherently remains unclear.  In an episode about the Kwik-E-Mart closing, in which “Kwik-E-Mark” is in the title, there literally wasn’t a single scene set inside the store.  Apu only had three scenes, the opening sword fight, a failed robbery, and then the redemption where he and Manjula repeated the word “monkey” at one another.  (As is typical for Zombie Simpsons, Jan Hooks didn’t get to do the voice of Manjula.)  I think that was supposed to be the B-plot, but the B-plot might also have been Homer’s suddenly hurt feelings and then the immediate redemption of said hurt feelings.  Neither was on-screen long enough to make a compelling case, though Dan Castellaneta’s lungs did get a workout, as Jerkass Homer spent a great deal of screen time yelling and screaming.

Anyway, the numbers are in and they are wretched.  Last night’s empty spray can of an episode was dejectedly shaken by a mere 5.17 million viewers.  That’s good for seventh on the all time least watched list, and drags Season 23 further into uncharted depths in terms of average viewers.  Excluding the post-NFL playoff episode, Zombie Simpsons hasn’t even come close to breaking six million viewers since December. 

18 responses to “Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart, Or Just Stay Out of It Entirely”

  1. akumatafura Avatar

    Was there at least one reference to EL BARTO?

    1. baconkong Avatar
      baconkong

      Don’t think so, which bugged the hell out of me.

    2. Bea Simmons' Rotting Corpse Avatar
      Bea Simmons’ Rotting Corpse

      Yep, couple of them.

      1. baconkong Avatar
        baconkong

        Glad to hear that. Forgetting about El Barto in an episode like this would have been unforgivable.

  2. baconkong Avatar
    baconkong

    The plastic cocktail sword fight probably would have been a lot better had it been animated years ago. Ever since the show went HD everything became so robotic and sterile. I’d swear they’re using Flash.

    I will give them this: The song they used for their mandatory montage was well thought out and fitting. It wasn’t just “let’s find a song with the word ‘graffiti’ in it and call it a day.”

    1. A.BRA C.ADAVER Avatar

      You mean the “this night is ours” scene played over the grafitti sessions?

      That’s the end title theme for EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP, the award winning (and completely brilliant imo) grafitti film that this movie was “parodying” with that scene, and referencing in most of the episode.

      1. baconkong Avatar
        baconkong

        Well, it’s still a more clever use of a song than their usual montages.

        1. A.BRA C.ADAVER Avatar

          Yeah, but it’s just ripping off something else completely.

          Sad isn’t it?

  3. Stan Avatar
    Stan

    In all, this ep clearly followed the “a Simpson suddenly becomes good at something – meets some celebrity – gets famous – loses all for some reason/decides to quit/stops being good at it” theme, with the incrustation of some jerkass/raging Homer here and there. The crap of a b-plot wasn’t there. It was pure filler. I actually wonder when was the last time they really showed a plot, either main or secondary, about some other Springfieldian than the fucking family members. When was the last time we seen the octuplets? Sure, there was one about Moe a month or so ago, but even then Homer was in 2/3 of that episode, and the ending involved once again the Simpsons. I’m guessing… Season 19?

    Other than that, Castellaneta’s Homer was terrible in this one. At some point you can almost hear Dan take on a different tone within the same scene. Also, his Homer starts to sound a lot like Grandpa in his 50s, and this can’t be good. If he can’t do Quimby that’s one thing, but Homer… argh just end the show, dammit!

    1. Cyberen Avatar
      Cyberen

      It’s sort of a rule that every episode has to deal with the Simpsons in some way, but obviously after 500 episodes there’s only so much you can do without making every family member a jack of all trades.

    2. Mr. Snrub Avatar
      Mr. Snrub

      Bart suddenly becoming good at graffiti isn’t that much of an offender to me. Bart’s always graffitied(sp.?), since season 1. Yeah, they upped his ability here, but I think it made sense. It was far from the worst thing about this episode.

      1. Stan Avatar
        Stan

        That’s exactly what went wrong in it: “they upped his ability”. We’re not talking about Bart being a street artist as a bad thing, but when they show someone doing something they could possibly do, being suddenly good at it is synonymous with a lame excuse for building up the episode’s plot. Only back in Seasons 10-12 they got away with it by lodging crayons in the brain or someone randomly meeting someone, which was at least somewhat watchable. Now they just implant a talent and THEN make some celebrities appear in order to voice themselves. This is as fucking lame as it could ever get.

  4. ecco6t9 Avatar
    ecco6t9

    Anyone else notice that when they are waiting for the birthday call, the room looks plain. Did they just move in?

    If they did just move in I think it means they moved back in from The Outlands or something like that!

    1. A.BRA C.ADAVER Avatar

      Ohhhh… continuity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      THEY’RE BEING ZOMBIE-PROGRESSIVE!!!

    2. Stan Avatar
      Stan

      Lol, you think they gave a fart? Don’t disclose such ideas, some of the more advanced writers might actually read this blog =)

      1. ecco6t9 Avatar
        ecco6t9

        I’m probably some geek Simpsons writer’s kid.

  5. Josh Avatar
    Josh

    4 celebrities voicing themselves in this one. I bring this up because I laughed crazy hard in a recent interview where someone from the show said “we try not to have guest voices just for the sake of guest voices”

    1. Thrillho Avatar
      Thrillho

      Well, that must explain why all but one (two if you don’t want to count Teddy Roosevelt) episodes from this season have had guest stars.

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