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“No! No, let me explain! Every Friday evening after work Mr. Burns undergoes a series of medical treatments designed to… READ MORE
“Hey, ma, I’m on TV!” – Drunk #1 “Hey, where’s that weather chick?” – Drunk #2 “Ooh, this is some… READ MORE
“I want to go on the yard work simulator!” – Bart Simpson The official synopsis for this week’s episode of… READ MORE
“Hi, kids! . . . What the . . . is this Saturday?” – Krusty the Klown I’m still going… READ MORE
“What the hell was that?” – Krusty the Klown Give Zombie Simpsons credit, when they embarrass themselves for a pop… READ MORE
“Like one out of every nine Americans, I’m left handed. And, let me tell you, it ain’t all peaches and… READ MORE
“Well, here we are at the Brad Goodman lecture.” – Homer Simpson “We know, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “I just… READ MORE
“Don’t forget to check out the galley. That’s real shag carpeting!” – Captain McAllister The title of yesterday’s episode, “A… READ MORE
“Mom, this is a little ahead of schedule, but I need help with my love life.” – Bart Simpson “Oh,… READ MORE
“I suggest you leave immediately.” – C.M. Burns “Or what? You’ll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs… READ MORE
“Eww.” – Lisa Simpson Near the beginning of The Great Muppet Caper, Diana Rigg, playing wealthy fashion designer Lady Holiday,… READ MORE
“Bart was feeling mighty blue.” – Homer Simpson “It’s a shame what school can do.” – Marge Simpson “For no… READ MORE
“Homer, that’s your solution to everything, to move under the sea. It’s not going to happen!” – Marge Simpson “Not… READ MORE
“I’ve had one of my unpredictable changes of heart.” – C.M. Burns About three quarters of the way through “The… READ MORE
“The Flaming Moe dates back to my forefathers who were bartenders to the Tsar.” – Moe Whatever else may be… READ MORE
“Now I finally have time to do what I’ve always wanted, write the great American novel. Mine is about a… READ MORE
“Bart, I don’t want you to see me cry.” – Milhouse van Houten “Oh come on, I’ve seen you cry… READ MORE
“What’s normal to him, amazes us.” – Future Guy #1 “He will be our new god.” – Future Guy #2… READ MORE
“These days people like observational humor, about things they deal with in everyday life.” – Jay Leno “Oh yeah, you… READ MORE
“Simpson, stop frolicking and get to work!” – Mr. Smithers “Right away, Mr. Smithers, I’ll just walk across these slippery… READ MORE
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