"Hey Scioscia, I don’t get it. You’re a ringer, but you’re here every night in the core busting your butt hauling radioactive waste." – Carl "Well, Carl, it’s such a relief from the pressures of playing big league ball. I mean, there you make any kind of mistake and boom, the press is all over you. Uh oh." – Mike Scioscia “Ah, don’t worry about it.” – Carl “Oh man, is this ever sweet.” – Mike Scioscia I’m very ready to be done with this episode. Unlike most Zombie Simpsons episodes this one will end up being memorable. Not because…
Tag: Homer at the Bat
I Can’t Think of a Baseball Metaphor for Poor Storytelling or Low Ratings
“Smithers, it’s almost game time, where the devil are my ringers?” – C.M. Burns “Sir, Mike Scioscia might not live through the night. Steve Sax is looking at six consecutive life sentences. And Ozzie Smith seems to have vanished off the face of the Earth.” – Mr. Smithers Shortly before the weak-and-lazy-even-by-their-standards introduction of throwaway voice Mike Scioscia, Zombie Simpsons demonstrated yet again just how apathetic they are towards anything that could be called storytelling. Bart and Marge are riding on a rollercoaster, and Bart makes the completely offhand remark, “You know, Mom, after only seven hours in this amusement…
Springfield city league softball is finally safe again
“Pick me! Pick me!” – Ken Griffey Jr. “I pick Ken Griffey Jr.” – Ralph Wiggum “Ah jeez…” – Bart Simpson For those that haven’t heard yet, Ken Griffey Jr. retired from Major League Baseball last week. During the prime of his 22 seasons, Griffey was one of the best all around center fielders and a serious threat each time he stepped to the plate. If the latter part of his career hadn’t been injury plagued, he would have probably ended higher up on the all time home run list than 5th. Additionally, he seems to be one of the…
Synergy Contradicts Itself
“Smithers I’ve been thinking, is it wrong to cheat in order to win a million dollar bet?” – C.M. Burns “Yes, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat in order to win a million dollar bet?” – C.M. Burns “No, sir. Who would you like killed?” – Mr. Smithers In its never ending mission to praise Zombie Simpsons in the most obsequious of ways IGN will sometimes slip up. Like all paid sycophants, IGN doesn’t have a coherent, well thought out world view. It simply finds ways to praise and doesn’t concern itself…
Quote of the Day
“Did you hear that Ari? My boys need only to thump your tub and the title is ours.” – C.M. Burns “Ha! The gladiators from my power plant will crush your team like nine flabby grapes.” – Aristotle Amadopolis “I disagree.” – C.M. Burns “Would you care to bet a million dollars on that?” – Aristotle Amadopolis “Oh, if we’re going to bet why don’t we make it interesting?” – C.M. Burns “What, a million dollars isn’t interesting to you?” – Aristotle Amadopolis “Oh did you say a million? I’m uh, I’m sorry my mind was elsewhere. I thought you…
Spurlock Update: Kids Should Always Do Things They See on TV
Morgan Spurlock is back in Britain, this time so that he can get a twelve year old on film pretending to choke on a ham sandwich: Homer Simpson helped save Wakefield schoolboy Alex Hardy’s life. As Alex choked on a ham sandwich best pal Aiden Bateman strode over with a scene from one of the most popular Simpsons episodes etched in his mind. He performed the Heimlich Manoeuvre after seeing the same lifesaving technique on The Simpson’s third season episode "Homer at the Bat." Now Aiden’s heroics – in the canteen at Crofton Junior School in December 2007 – are…
Quote of the Day
“Okay, let’s go over the ground rules. You can’t leave first until you chug a beer, any man scoring has to chug a beer, you have to chug a beer at the top of all odd numbered innings, oh and the fourth inning is the beer inning.” – Umpire “Hey, we know how to play softball.” – Chief Wiggum