“When are you going to wake up and smell your husband, Marge?” – Selma Bouvier “Granted, you got some kids out of him, but when the seeds have been planted you throw away the envelope.” – Patty Bouvier My apologies, but there isn’t going to be a Compare & Contrast this week. My stupid real job threw up a bolt-from-the-blue minor crisis this week that is just now finally squared away, and I don’t have the energy to get my brains back into an episode I’ve already largely forgotten. However, there was one thing that’s been bugging me about “Luca$”: what the hell was with Patty and Selma in that scene in the kitchen with Marge? They’re sitting at the table watching Lisa and the would-be-competitive eater Lucas in the back yard. Patty jokes that he’s fat, Marge says she’s surprised Lisa likes him, Patty then says: Really? Justin Blobber over there doesn’t remind you of anyone? That leads to a quick cut of Homer yelling and complaining, which leads to Selma explaining the plot to everyone: Women marry their fathers, Marge. So you just might be meeting your future ton-in-law! Then they both happily cackle at Lisa’s fate. It doesn’t bother me that the twins are being mean to the kid, but by extension they’re also gleefully bagging on Lisa, which is just weird. Patty and Selma hate Homer, and who could blame them? (Would you want your baby sister married to him?) But they’ve always been fond, even proud, of Lisa. Here they’re basically saying to Marge: you married fat loser and so will your precious daughter, ha ha. They want Lisa to marry someone like Homer just to teach Marge a lesson or something, and it’s utterly contrary to everything we know about them. Characters devolving into unrecognizable goo isn’t anything new for Zombie Simpsons. And it’s not like anyone put too much thought into that scene in the first place. But it goes to show how really empty and hollow this show has left so many once rich characters. Patty and Selma, for all their flaws, were always on Marge’s side. Here they’re not, and they’re attacking her through Lisa. It’s really bad, even for Zombie Simpsons.
Tag: Luca$
Behind Us Forever: Luca$
“Where is Homer, anyway?” – Selma Bouvier “It’s so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all.” – Patty Bouvier “What, Aunt Patty?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, nothing, dear, I’m just trashing your father.” – Patty Bouvier “Well, I wish you wouldn’t. Because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he’s the only father I have. Therefore he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me, and I am far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts.” – Lisa Simpson “Mmmhmm, go watch your cartoon show, dear.” – Patty Bouvier After I finished watching this episode, I went to the end and began rewinding. Lucas, the kid who Lisa briefly sorta liked and whose dialogue appeared to be stuff that was rejected from Zach Galifianakis’ part in a draft for Hangover 4, appears in the very last scene. It had been so long since we saw him that I wasn’t even sure when he’d gone missing. Reversing, it turns out that he had been gone since literally the halfway mark of the episode. The show didn’t completely forget him, there was that final, tacked on scene, but he was so pointless and shallow that they literally didn’t need him for most of the second act and all of the third. Jebus. The dropouts at Hollywood Upstairs Screenwriting College think that’s sloppy. Besides a forgettably shallow guest voice, what else did “Luca$” have? Exposition. Lots and lots and lots of exposition. In the B-plot, Snake kept stealing stuff for Bart, which we didn’t see, then he got arrested, which we didn’t see, and then Bart went to get him out of jail, which we did see but which was practically narrated for us, including such sparkling dialogue as: “But, Chief, we got guns! He’s got a little wrench.” “You won’t need to save me a third time.” “If I get caught, it’s suicide by cop.” “It means I get you to shoot me.” The A-plot, meanwhile, suffered from the same repetitive problem, but managed a big swing and a miss on the ending, where they wrapped up the wrong plot thread. Marge was supposed to be worried about Lisa seeing Homer as a bad example for future romantic partners, but that quickly devolved into Homer being upset with her about it, which meant that the ending was about Homer forgiving Marge, making Lisa’s whole presence something of an afterthought. That the big gag was that Marge wore a dress from when they drew her into Project Runway didn’t help, nor Jimbo at the bar or the overall weird and creepiness of Homer and Lisa going on a “date”. The quote above from Season 1 contains basically every idea the A-plot fumbled, and it didn’t forget any characters in the middle either. – Slapping “Parodies Are Easy” on…
Sunday Preview: Luca$
Lisa dates a boy named Lucas Bortner, who wants to be a competitive eater. Marge becomes concerned that Lisa is trying to marry a boy that’s just like Homer. Bart helps Snake Jailbird break out of jail and starts to receive gifts from him, making Milhouse jealous. So I guess Zach Galifianakis is the fatty competitive eater for which Lisa gets the hots. Fine. Good for him. I suppose it’s his turn on the town bike anyway. I don’t have much to say about the other plot, except that the first time I read this promo, all I could think about was Zap Brannigan saying “But I thought we would be good friends…” It’s probably not like that, but with some of the things I have seen on this show the last few years, it’s not impossible either.