“Hello, I am Plato. Please partake of keno, craps, and the loosest slots in town! My philosophy is: enjoy.” – Plato
Tag: Old Money
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Simpson, I presume.” – Not Henry Morton Stanley Happy birthday, George Meyer!
Quote of the Day
“It’s a special isolation chamber! The subject pulls levers to receive food and warmth, the floor can become electrified, and showers of icy water randomly fall on the subject. I call it, the Monroe Box!” – Dr. Marvin Monroe “Uh-huh, well, it sounds interesting. How much will it cost to build?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Oh, that’s the beauty part, it’s already built! I need the money to buy a baby to raise in the box until the age of thirty.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe “What are you trying to prove?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Well, my theory is that…
Quote of the Day
“What do you think you’re doing?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Mr. Simpson, I dread the day when a hundred thousand dollars isn’t worth groveling for.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“By the way, old timer, I do wills. Why don’t I just give you this pen with my phone number on it? It looks just like a cigar! Isn’t that something?” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“I can tell she really cared for me. She didn’t make me a pallbearer.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I couldn’t help overhearing about your new found fortune, and let me assure you that here at the Springfield Retirement Castle, money does make a difference. I mean, there are rubdowns and then there are rubdowns.” – Retirement Castle Manager “Listen you bloodsucker, has it ever occurred to you that old folks deserve to be treated like human beings whether they have money or not?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Yes, but it passes.” – Retirement Castle Manager
Quote of the Day
“Outta my way, I got a date with an angel.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “You don’t know how right you are, Abe.” – Jasper “What?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Bea passed away last night. It was her ticker. The doc said her left ventrical burst.” – Jasper “Oh, no Jasper, they may say she died of a burst ventrical, but I know she died of a broken heart.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
Image taken from Wikipedia. “Herman, a very special lady is having her birthday tomorrow.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Ah, the battleship New Jersey!” – Herman “No, you idiot! My girlfriend, Bea.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well Grampa, nothing says ‘I love you’ better than a military antique! Let’s take a look at the bayonet case, huh?” – Herman
The Fat Man and the Fumbled Sleight of Hand
“Is there room at your table for a foolish old man?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Well, sure! We’ll have to move a chair in from the den, but it’s no problem. Bart!” – Homer Simpson Before we finish up with “Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson”, I want to point out one last trick they used to try and make this out-of-date hodgepodge seem snappy and current. Like the faces of the various Republican contenders (and the null signs over the pictures of Cain and Bachmann), this was clearly a late addition used to work around the fact that the production…
Quote of the Day
“Here’s the deal, Grampa, a guy I think was an explorer left this in the bar one night. It may be a map to ancient treasure, or directions to some guy’s house, but to find out we’ll need money, we’ll need provisions, and a two man diving bell.” – Moe “It’s pretty stupid, but so far you’re the front runner.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Old Money”! Original airdate 28 March 1991. [Edited to fix incorrect punctuation.]
Quote of the Day
Image shamelessly stolen from here. “Oh Abraham, calm down, I’m not here to scare you. They’ve got me haunting a family in Texas.” – Ghost of Beatrice Simmons Audrey Meadows, who was the voice of Bea and played Alice on The Honeymooners, would’ve been 85 today. Happy birthday!
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Mat Culpepper. “You know, Grandpa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom’s all wet.” – Bart Simpson “Nuh-huh, he smells more like a photo lab.” – Lisa Simpson “Stop it, both of you! Grandpa smells like a regular old man, which is more like a hallway in a hospital.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Yo active wear, I need a price check on a wool shawl.” – Grandma’s World Checkout Clerk
Simpsons & Tom Jones
Via our wonderful commenters last week I learned that the scene where Grandpa and Bea flirtatiously take their pills was from the 1963 film version of “Tom Jones”. (Sadly, Netflix has just informed me that it’s not available on DVD at the moment. Really?) That reminded me of this page (it was linked on boingboing two years ago) which has image by image comparisons of famous movie scenes and their Simpsons equivalents. Here are the “Tom Jones” ones: There are, obviously, a bunch more on there and if you scroll all the way to the bottom they even have links…
Thoughtful Gross Out Humor
One of the many great things about The Simpsons was its use of pretty much every form of comedy known to man. Want intelligent and thoughtful political satire? Check. How about some really nasty sexual humor that slipped past the censors? Oh yeah. Completely insane (and often monstrous) ideas that nevertheless connect with you the ordinary person? Indeed. How about some gross out humor? How about “yes”. The Simpsons was able to elevate to hitherto unknown levels ideas and images that in lesser hands would merely disgust. There’s explicitly drawn nastiness like the filth encrusted hot dog Apu sells to…
Quote of the Day
“What the hell is that?” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson “Why it’s a Death Ray, my good man. Behold.” – Prof. Frink “Hey, feels warm, kinda nice.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson “Well, it is just a prototype. With proper funding I’m confident this little baby could destroy an area the size of New York City!” – Prof. Frink “But I want to help people, not kill ‘em!” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson “Oh. Well, to be honest, the ray only has evil applications. You know my wife will be happy, she’s hated this whole Death Ray thing from day one.” – Prof.…
Quote of the Day
“Miss, I’m looking for Abe Simpson. It’s important I get a hold of him; I have to tell him I don’t care about his money and I love him.” – Homer Simpson “We get that a lot.” – Springfield Retirement Castle Receptionist