“Why don’t you buy it?” – Bart Simpson “I can’t buy that. Only management type guys with big salaries like me can afford things like that. . . . Guys like me! I’m a guy like me!” – Homer Simpson
Tag: You Only Move Twice
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Hey, what’s going on?” – Homer Simpson “I’m having a little trouble with the government.” – Hank Scorpio “Oh, those jerks, always walking all over the small businessman! Don’t get me started about the government.” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Homer, on your way out, if you want to kill somebody, it would help me a lot.” – Hank Scorpio Happy (one day belated) Birthday, Albert Brooks!
Quote of the Day
“Did you notice how the people weren’t shoving or knocking each other down? I’ve never been to a place like that before.” – Lisa Simpson “Me neither.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“The key to motivation is trust. Lemme show you what I mean. I want you to close your eyes and fall backwards and I’ll catch you. That’s gonna show you what trust is all about. Ready?” – Hank Scorpio “Alright!” – Homer Simpson “Three . . . two . . . one sec. Hello?” – Hank Scorpio “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson “Oh my God that guy’s on the floor!” – Hank Scorpio
Makeup Quote of the Day
“So, what’re you in for?” – Bart Simpson “I moved here from Canada and they think I’m slow, eh?” – Canadian Boy “I fell off the jungle gym and when I woke up I was in here.” – Leg Up Girl “I start fires.” – Leg Up Boy
Quote of the Day
“Yes? What happened? When did that happen? How much of it? Oh, my goodness, I’ll be right up. Homer, I gotta go upstairs, there’s a problem. Somebody ate part of my lunch.” – Hank Scorpio
Quote of the Day
“Before we continue our tour, would you mind hanging my coat up on the wall, please?” – Hank Scorpio “Um . . . uh, let’s see . . . um . . .” – Homer Simpson “Relax, Homer! At Globex we don’t believe in walls! Matter of fact, I didn’t even give you my coat!” – Hank Scorpio Happy birthday, Albert Brooks!
Quote of the Day
“Okay, the oven is clean itself, the vacuum is on dirt patrol, and Maggie is enjoying her swing-a-majig.” – Marge Simpson
New Simpsons Blog Dedicated to Those Longer Shots
“You will notice, my new best friend, that we are pretty casual around here.” – Scorpio “Yes, sir. I will notice that.” – Homer Simpson A few weeks ago I got an email from a new Simpsons blogger who’s got a novel idea for looking at the show. You know those long shots the show uses to scroll wider or taller than a single scene allows? He stitches them together far better than I’ve ever managed: This is less encouraging. You can see more at By the Big Cooling Tower. (It’s on Tumblr, so if you are too, drop him one…
Compare & Contrast: The Family Moves Away from Springfield
“You took a new job in a strange town without discussing it with your family?” – Marge Simpson “Of course not. I wouldn’t do that! Why not?” – Homer Simpson “We have roots here, Homer. We have friends and family and library cards. Bart’s lawyer is here.” – Marge Simpson The most obvious option for doing a Compare & Contrast for “The Town” would be to a travel episode that’s actually coherent, say, “The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson” or “Bart vs. Australia”. These kinds of stories and jokes work better if the family has an actual reason…
Quote of the Day
“Cypress Creek, a tale of one city.” – Globex Video Narrator “Let’s watch something else.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, you’re trying to talk us into moving to this place.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, yeah, that’s right. Let’s watch this.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“It’s called Cypress Creek, a planned community designed for the workers of the Globex corporation. Cypress Creek, where dreams come true . . . Your dreams may vary from those of Globex corporation, its subsidiaries and shareholders.” – Cypress Creek Promotional Video
Quote of the Day
“We’ve got it great here! And for the first time in my life I’m actually good at my job. My team is way ahead of the weather machine and germ warfare divisions.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“So, you never learned cursive?” – Cypress Creek Teacher “Well, I know ‘hell’ and ‘damn’ and ‘bi-” – Bart Simpson “Cursive handwriting, script. Do you know the multiplication tables? Long division?” – Cypress Creek Teacher “I know of them.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up two percent, and it’s all because of my motivational techniques, like donuts, and the possibility of more donuts to come.” – Homer Simpson
Compare & Contrast: James Bond Songs
“Ingenious, isn’t it, Mr. Bont?” – Hank Scorpio “Scorpio, you’re totally mad.” – Bont “I wouldn’t point fingers, you jerk.” – Hank Scorpio “So, do you expect me to talk?” – Bont “I don’t expect anything from you except to die and be a very cheap funeral.” – Hank Scorpio When The Simpsons was still itself it often featured song parodies and takeoffs that were toe-tapping fun. But those songs were never simply direct ports of existing songs with just a word or two changed. When Shary Bobbins sings "A Boozehound Named Barney", it’s recognizable as "Feed the Birds", but…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, wow, windows! I don’t think I can afford this place.” – Otto
Quote of the Day
“They laughed at me the first time I wore jeans with a sport coat. I was the first wealthy man in America to ever do that, now they all do it!” – Hank Scorpio
Quote of the Day
Disneyland and giant redwood images both yoinked from Wikipedia. “It says here, one of these giant redwood trees can provide enough sawdust to cover an entire day’s worth of vomit at Disneyland.” – Lisa Simpson