“Is Bart home?” – Milhouse van Houten
“Just taking Maggie for a stroll.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“I guess I am putting up the Halloween-y decorations a little early.  Criticism accepted.” – Ned Flanders

In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22.  Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom.  Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden, unless you have a really good reason why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “calluses”,).

We mention this very briefly below, and it’s a recurring problem beyond this episode, but “The Real Housewives of Fat Tony” seemed to have an especially large number of characters who appeared and disappeared at random from different scenes. As Mad Jon mentions, there was the scene where Fat Tony just appeared in the Simpsons’ kitchen, surprising everyone. But there were many more examples, from Cletus and his baby being right next to the school, to Bart and Lisa, then Luigi (and then Otto!) mysteriously appearing in the forest, all the way up to the very end when Fat Tony’s “real” wife came exploding through the fence. When Family Guy does shit like this, they at least have the narrative courtesy to preface it with “remember the time”, “this is just like” or something similar.

[Note: Dave’s still out of the country, but that sap went to a place that has an extradition treaty with the U.S., so we expect him back soon.]

Charlie Sweatpants: Ready to get started?

Mad Jon: Yes

Yes I am

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s been a while since there was a new Zombie Simpsons, so maybe my calluses aren’t as thick as they were a month ago, but that seemed more unorganized and dumb than usual.

Mad Jon: It really fell apart right after Homer goes to the birthday party

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, too bad that was about six seconds into the episode.

Although even before that, the couch gag, while brief, was a repeat of the Blockbuster joke they made like four episodes ago.

Mad Jon: The whole thing was kind of more off the wall than I expected. Lisa as a truffle addict, Spider Pig going haywire, Jersey Shore for some reason, and a Bonanza ending. Each twist was twistier than the twist before it.

Transitions be damned! Did you know that Fat Tony just walks into people’s houses now? I remember a time when he and his associates knocked politely first.

Charlie Sweatpants: This episode suffered from a lot of characters just appearing and disappearing at random.

Mad Jon: It keeps you guessing

Plot tricks like that remind me of when Lionel Hutz argued that hearsay and conjecture are types of evidence.

Charlie Sweatpants: There were an awful lot of reversals, just out of no where.

Including the very end, where the “conflict” between Marge and Selma gets resolved, and then – out of nowhere – they change the premise of the episode so that Selma doesn’t know she really wasn’t married to Fat Tony.

That, I gotta hand it to them, was impressive. They retconned their own episode – within the episode.

Mad Jon: That’s good Teevee

I noticed they made many jokes about the number of Selma’s Marriages. Instead of just the usual one.

Charlie Sweatpants: Lotta time to fill.

Lotta tanning bed jokes, as well.

Mad Jon: One critic note, I thought they swung and missed with the crooked boxer line. If they just would have drowned him after the mention, it would have been funny.

Instead he had to gurgle and gurgle and comment and gurgle.

Charlie Sweatpants: Agreed, if they had just let that guy die while the proposal was going on, it would’ve been funny. But they can’t do anything in the background these days.

Mad Jon: Oh, the tanning jokes eh? For all the guest stars this show can pull, how do they not get any of the actual jersey shore people?

Charlie Sweatpants: I think they think they’re above the real Jersey Shore people.

Mad Jon: Well, they sure did a good job exactly copying them.

Also, on an episode like change of topic, I did chuckle when Fat Tony framed the lobster.

Charlie Sweatpants: Too little too late, for me.

Mad Jon: Quick and clean sight gag, although it was during a montage.

Charlie Sweatpants: The only thing I liked in the episode was the sign in the forest, the one that said “32 trees used to make this sign”.

Mad Jon: I must have missed that while I was watching Lisa lead Bart-Pig around.

Charlie Sweatpants: Oh, it was way before that.

Mad Jon: Well then I have no excuse.

Charlie Sweatpants: The whole Bart on a leash thing was . . . uh . . . different, huh?

Mad Jon: I kinda felt a little creeped out, especially when she put the gag and blinders on….

But that’s the power of addiction for you.

Charlie Sweatpants: And the power of yet another violent swing in the plot. I’ll admit it, I didn’t see pig rampage coming.

Mad Jon: It did tie Luigi back in. Seamless.

Will Spider Pig ever die? Aren’t there other pigs that don’t have a shock of blonde hair waiting in the wings?

Charlie Sweatpants: Spider Pig worked once, and they will run it into the ground until it stops working.

Mad Jon: I know. I know.

Were there actually any non-recurring guest stars on this one?

Seems odd.

Charlie Sweatpants: It was just Mantegna. Though it does seem strange. Maybe the Jersey Shore people are too toxic for anyone to even want to impersonate them.

Then again, the Jersey Shore people were hardly in the damn thing, they were just there for the end to do whatever it is they do that you can get away with in an 8:00pm timeslot cartoon.

Mad Jon: That really feels like a no-brainer. Any trained actor could utter a sentence or two. And that is becoming a common way for Zombie Simpsons to fit an extra guest in real quick.

But I digress.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, they did have them all in that promo image. They usually reserve that for guest stars. This was them leeching off the popularity of others without even letting them on the show.

Mad Jon: Which is funny, because those guys probably would have done it for a bottom shelf margarita.

Charlie Sweatpants: True enough.

Did you catch the almost certainly not-intentional meta joke near the end, when Marge actually said, right after the car crashed through the fence, “This doesn’t make any sense.”?

Mad Jon: No, but I wish I would have. That would have been good for a chuckle.

Charlie Sweatpants: Anything else here?

Mad Jon: Not really, I started dicking around in another tab right after Selma had Fat Tony give her Liposuction and everyone couldn’t stop saying “Take care of it.”

Charlie Sweatpants: Like I said, run it into the ground.

Mad Jon: So I may have done us a mis-service, but I am willing to bet I did myself a favor.

Charlie Sweatpants: That you did.