“Everywhere I look, someone is breaking the law: dog, no leash; man, littering; horse not wearing diaper; car parked across three handicap spaces.” – Marge Simpson
Tag: The Springfield Connection
Quote of the Day
“Careful, now, these are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle class types. So avoid eye contact, watch your pocketbook, and suspect everyone.” – Homer Simpson “Three card monte!” – Snake “Woo-hoo! Easy money!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Alright, settle, people. People, settle. People! Wood and Van Zuyland, stake out Donut Land. When they fry up a fresh batch, call it in. Keneally and Earhart, back ’em up. Fitz and Garcia, it’s your turn to sleep in. And Simpson, seeing how this is your first day, you’re inexperienced and vulnerable, your beat is Junkieville and Bumtown.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Women always have trouble with the wall . . . can’t ever seem to find the door.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Homer, gimme my pepper spray!” – Marge Simpson “Oh, Marge, one squirt and you’re south of the border! . . . Mmmm, incapacitating.” – Homer Simpson
Ad Hoc Beer Marathon
“Hey, Homer, you busy?” – Lenny “Yes.” – Homer Simpson I used to do these with more preparation, but it’s Saturday, I’m sick and tired of being responsible, and my fridge has a lot of beer in it. May the Lord bless and keep the VLC random play function… The Last Temptation of Homer – Bart’s parking line prank is one of his best. Especially since the punchline is the psychological frailty of the faculty. – Look how bored Burns is when Charlie describes the fake emergency exit. He’s not even mad yet, and he’s always kinda mad. – That plane crashed on his property! – “Your appearance is comical to me.” – “Hey, Joey Joe Joe!” Great throwaway joke. – There’s such wonderful layers to Homer’s “Foul temptress! I’ll bet she thinks Ziggy’s gotten too preachy too!” It’s eleven words, moves the plot, and there’s like three jokes. – God I miss Phil Hartman. He has one line in this whole episode, and it’s perfect. – Fucking Season 5, I could write a whole post about almost every scene. – Stewart callback! – There’s no way to do the porter’s many sex sounds in text. You can’t even really quote it well. But it’s awesome. – “Hey, kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes?” – Simpsons Did It – I love the immediate and unbridled hostility of the energy convention MC’s “No” when Homer asks if he can get out of dinner with Mindy. – The ending of this episode is a great example of how the show handled real conflict and emotion with speed and humor. We get right up to Homer thinking he might cheat on Marge with Minday (who’s in the room), which cuts immediately to the reveal that it’s actually Marge in his room, which cuts immediately to her noticing that there’s a turkey behind the bed. On Zombie Simpsons that would take a minute and a half and Homer would explain how he’d been thinking about cheating on her. Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily – Love the 1960s Batman sound when Marge wraps the sandwiches. #RIPAdamWest – Count Homer’s test drive would be so much worse on Zombie Simpsons. They’d probably make it a montage instead of just using “gently massages your buttocks” as a punchline. – “See you in hell, you wingless bloodsuckers!” (Also more great sound effects with the lice squeaking pathetically as they’re incinerated.) – – Stupid baby – Now that’s a quick sign gag. – The “turn tape over” gag is a piece of history now. – “I don’t judge Homer and Marge. That’s for a vengeful God to do.” Maude Flanders was really an awful human being and it made her a great foil for Ned. – This isn’t the goriest Itchy & Scratchy, but it is one of the most straight up horrifying. “Why? Why? My only son.” – Homer in front of the judge is hilarious. He actually does love his kids, but way, way less than he’s annoyed by them.…
Quote of the Day
“Strange, regular ham doesn’t thrill me anymore. I’m crossing over to deviled ham!” – Marge Simpson Happy Birthday Julie Kavner!
Quote of the Day
“Tsk tsk tsk, you missed the baby, you missed the blind man . . .” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Wow, Mom, I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Whatever you do, Mom, we’ll be proud of you.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, thank you, honey.” – Marge Simpson “As long as it’s Constitutional.” – Lisa Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “The Springfield Connection”! Original airdate: 7 May 1995.
Reading Digest: Live Concert Edition
“Devilishiously satirical! I wonder if anyone else got that?” – Dr. Hibbert “We’re out of here!” – Homer Simpson That very cool Hollywood Bowl show is this weekend. I won’t be able to attend, but if any of you fine Simpsons fans out there make the trip, please let us know. (I’d be happy to post pictures, an account, what have you.) In more provincial news, I saw my first Halloween display in a store this week, and I thought, “wow, that’s pretty early”, then when I was going through WordPress tags for this week’s post I came across tons of spam sites selling Homer costumes, Bart costumes, Radioactive Man costumes, Duffman/woman costumes, etc. I guess it’s already that time of year. In regular news, Simpsons stuff is getting back to normal, though we still have a couple of people writing and reminiscing about the marathon. In addition to that, there’s new shoes, Duff Beer getting banned in Australia, the theme song covered by Ohio State’s marching band, and much more. Enjoy. A Day In The Life Of Simpsons Quotes – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this day long diary of all the Simpsons quotes that go through someone’s head. I think many of us can relate. (Also, thanks for the nice mention.) Fireworks Finale: The Simpsons Take the Bowl – Some PR agency sent me the little press kit for their series of concerts at the Hollywood Bowl this weekend. That’s the ticket link, and it looks like a blast. I’m particularly intrigued by this under the “Artists” section: Kipp Lennon Nancy Cartwright singing “Lisa It’s Your Birthday” with Lennon would be pretty fucking cool. Come on, YouTube, don’t let me down! ‘The Simpsons’ Marathon Ratings Prove The Animated Series Is Here To Stay; EP Al Jean Comments On Massive Success For FXX – I still have no way to watch FXX, but these could be fun from time to time: FXX, who according to Saftler is planning one day marathons in the future (including a Halloween marathon of every “Treehouse of Horror”), should be able to profit from “The Simpsons” for a long time. The Halloween episodes are an obvious candidate, as are whole seasons, but if I were them I’d be thinking along the lines of all the flashback episodes, episodes with classic Itchy & Scratchy bits, episodes written by Jon Vitti or Jeff Martin, and things like that. Also, too, this is yet another reminder that the business press is just as incurious and obsequious as the entertainment press; they cite the syndication deal as $750 million authoritatively, but their link just speculates about the number. Just like with the voice actors’ salaries, repeating a number doesn’t make it true and the real one is a tightly held secret that nobody involved would ever want public. ‘The Simpons’ Marathon: FXX Sets 8-Episode, Music-Themed Marathon – Looks like they got started last night: Just as America is recovering from FXX’s recent 12-day marathon of every episode of the “The Simpsons,” the cabler…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, sorry, Simpson, you’ll have to do the course again. I was trying to get this magic eye thing to work. Ah, look at that: a pony.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Alright, you scrawny beanpoles, becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Cuff him, boys. We’re putting this dirtbag away.” – Chief Wiggum “Ha. I’ll be back on the street in twenty-four hours.” – Snake “We’ll try to make it twelve.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“The ‘garage’? Hey fellas, the ‘garage’! Well ohh-la-di-da, mister Frenchman.” – Moe “Well, what do you call it?” – Homer Simpson “A car hole.” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“Uh, excuse me?” – Marge Simpson “What, what, what, what, what, what what? This better be about pizza.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Are you really allowed to execute people at a local jail?” – Hans Moleman “From this point on, no talking.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Strong Arms of the Ma” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“Homer, there’s no reason for you to feel threatened. You’ll always be the man of this house.” – Marge Simpson “Aww, thanks honey.” – Homer Simpson These Season 14 commentary posts might be a little strange because I haven’t seen more than a handful of these episodes before. I gave up on the show in Season 12, but I saw about half of Season 13 when it was on the air, mostly out of habit and boredom. The only Season 14 episode I’m sure I’ve seen all the way through is the Halloween one, which I mistakenly gave a chance the night it was broadcast. Just having watched this one with the commentary on, I’m glad I never sat through it the first time. From start-to-finish it’s filled with common Zombie Simpsons problems. Characters appear at random, there’s a lot of recycling going on (pretty much the whole plot is a thoughtless rehash of “The Springfield Connection” with the zany turned to 11), and things make so little sense that they actually acknowledge it several times during the commentary. On the plus side, I did learn something I never knew about the Rocky theme, so there’s that. Seven people on this one. 0:40 – How the sausage gets made: Omine originally pitched Homer getting mugged and then becoming agoraphobic, and that got changed to Marge getting mugged, which even they admit gets kinda dark and less than fun. 1:45 – Here’s a nice reminder about the inherent dishonesty of marketing Zombie Simpsons. This was the actual 300th episode, but FOX wanted to use the 300th on a different date, so they just straight up lied about which one it was. Since the episodes are conveniently listed all over the place, they got called on it instantly. It’s not the world’s most damaging lie or anything, but it’s a nice reminder of a) how little they give a fuck about their audience, and b) that you cannot trust a damn thing FOX says about this show. 2:45 – The Rainier Wolfcastle garage sale scene was based on a time Jean and his wife went to a garage sale for Shirley Jones. I’d like to point out that if you think back to “Bart the Fink”, she was the one who hosted the New Year’s Eve parties that Krusty was going to miss. 3:20 – Reminiscing about another celebrity sale, this time for some of Elton John’s costumes. Now they’re discussing Elton John’s career. Meanwhile, Homer has broken into Wolfcastle’s bedroom, and Wolfcastle doesn’t seem to mind. 4:00 – Still talking about Elton John. 4:15 – Homer folds the family into the car a la Tetris, which leads to an extended discussion about how much people used to play Tetris. 5:00 – Here’s a nice milestone, Jean thinks this may be the first time they “referred to the smell of Maggie’s poo”. I disagree. Homer hands Maggie back to Marge in “Homer’s Triple Bypass” because she’s got stinky pants. 5:30 – And…
Quote of the Day
“They’re butchering the classics! Could that bassoon have come in any more late?” – Homer Simpson “Oh c’mon, Homer, there’s lasers. You like lasers.” – Marge Simpson “Laser effects, mirrored balls, John Williams must be rolling around in his grave.” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Danny Elfman!
Crazy Noises: The Real Housewives of Fat Tony
“Is Bart home?” – Milhouse van Houten “Just taking Maggie for a stroll.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “I guess I am putting up the Halloween-y decorations a little early. Criticism accepted.” – Ned Flanders In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22. Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom. Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden, unless you have a really good reason why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “calluses”,). We mention this very briefly below, and it’s a recurring problem beyond this episode, but “The Real Housewives of Fat Tony” seemed to have an especially large number of characters who appeared and disappeared at random from different scenes. As Mad Jon mentions, there was the scene where Fat Tony just appeared in the Simpsons’ kitchen, surprising everyone. But there were many more examples, from Cletus and his baby being right next to the school, to Bart and Lisa, then Luigi (and then Otto!) mysteriously appearing in the forest, all the way up to the very end when Fat Tony’s “real” wife came exploding through the fence. When Family Guy does shit like this, they at least have the narrative courtesy to preface it with “remember the time”, “this is just like” or something similar. [Note: Dave’s still out of the country, but that sap went to a place that has an extradition treaty with the U.S., so we expect him back soon.] Charlie Sweatpants: Ready to get started? Mad Jon: Yes Yes I am Charlie Sweatpants: It’s been a while since there was a new Zombie Simpsons, so maybe my calluses aren’t as thick as they were a month ago, but that seemed more unorganized and dumb than usual. Mad Jon: It really fell apart right after Homer goes to the birthday party Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, too bad that was about six seconds into the episode. Although even before that, the couch gag, while brief, was a repeat of the Blockbuster joke they made like four episodes ago. Mad Jon: The whole thing was kind of more off the wall than I expected. Lisa as a truffle addict, Spider Pig going haywire, Jersey Shore for some reason, and a Bonanza ending. Each twist was twistier than the twist before it. Transitions be damned! Did you know that Fat Tony just walks into people’s houses now? I remember a time when he and his associates knocked politely first. Charlie Sweatpants: This episode suffered from a lot of characters just appearing and disappearing at random. Mad Jon: It keeps you guessing Plot tricks like that remind me of when Lionel Hutz argued that hearsay and conjecture are types of evidence.…