“Help me.” – Mr. Smithers “Holy smokes, you need booze!” – Dr. Nick Riviera
Month: May 2011
Quote of the Day
“Is it true we should wait at least an hour after eating before we go in?” – Marge Simpson “Look, question lady, this job is not what I really do, okay? I play keyboards.” – Pool Sharks Guy
Quote of the Day
“They’re butchering the classics! Could that bassoon have come in any more late?” – Homer Simpson “Oh c’mon, Homer, there’s lasers. You like lasers.” – Marge Simpson “Laser effects, mirrored balls, John Williams must be rolling around in his grave.” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Danny Elfman!
Season 3 Marathon: 24 Episodes, 24 Beers, 9h:12m:06s
“Marge, I’ve figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats.” – Homer Simpson “I don’t think you’ve thought this through.” – Marge Simpson Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Season 3 Simpsons-Beer marathon! Season 7 tightened the gap a little yesterday afternoon, and had been ahead earlier in the week, but Season 3 stayed on top of the poll, and so Season 3 it shall be. Just like the previous marathons, I’m not above using the pause and reverse buttons to get a quote or a screen shot, but there…
Quote of the Day
“You love ballet, yet you fear the boys will laugh at you, no?” – Ballet Instructor “No, I fear the girls will laugh at me. I fear the boys will beat the living snot out of me.” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: Harry Shearer in Japan Is Only Part of the Awesome Edition
With the pall of Season 22 lifting from across the pop culture landscape, the internet was in a generous mood this week; there are many spectacular things below. First and foremost are three, count ’em three, different bloggers who’ve had it with Zombie Simpsons thanks to their embarrassingly cheap cliffhanger ending. (And, for the record, I didn’t find anyone feeling the opposite.) There’s also Harry Shearer in an awesome six minute YouTube video that could be titled “Kent Brockman Goes to Japan”. All by itself that would be a pretty nice haul, but on top of that there’s several links…
Quote of the Day
“Barkeep, I couldn’t help noticing your sign.” – Not Shelly Long “The one that says ‘Bartenders Do It ’Til You Barf’?” – Moe “No, above that store bought drollery.” – Not Shelly Long Happy birthday Jo Ann Harris!
Compare & Contrast: Cliffhangers & Cultural Relevance
“This past summer, all of America was trying to solve the mystery of who shot Mr. Burns, then they found out it was the baby.” – Troy McClure Twas the summer of 1980, and America was atwitter over a television cliffhanger about who had shot a character named J.R. on a primetime soap opera called Dallas. T-shirts were produced, bets were placed, and, if the Wikipedia article titled simply “Who shot J.R.?” is to be believed, that year’s presidential contest even got into the act with jokes and buttons. When the shooter was revealed that autumn, it became one of…
Quote of the Day
“We just moved here from Phoenix. My dad owns a home security company; he came to Springfield because of its high crime rate and lackluster police force. All my friends are back in Phoenix, and this town has a weird smell that you’re all probably used to, but I’m not.” – Samantha Stanky “It’ll take you about six weeks, dear.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Crazy Noises: The Ned-Liest Catch
“I’m surprised you don’t remember, son. It was only eight years ago.” – Homer Simpson “Dad, thanks to television I can’t remember what happened eight minutes ago.” – Bart Simpson In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22. Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom. Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden,…
Quote of the Day
“Except for huge gaps in the western states, Hands Across America was a complete success.” – TV Announcer
Idiot to Drunkenly Watch Teevee Again
“Do you ever drink to escape from reality?” – Marge Simpson Ladies and gentlemen, we made it. Season 22 is over, and the only confirmed casualties were humor, plot and enjoyable comedy. In celebration, I’ll be undertaking another Simpsons-beer marathon this Saturday, the 28th of May. For those who’ve found this blog since the last time I did this, the basic concept is that, starting at about 8:00am Eastern Time (US), I’m going to watch an entire season of The Simpsons and drink one beer per episode. I’ll post running updates after each episode finishes, (a more detailed description can…
Quote of the Day
“If you turn that security camera around, you can sleep and no one will ever know.” – Homer Simpson “I don’t think we’re being paid to sleep.” – Frank Grimes “Oh yeah, they’re always trying to screw you.” – Homer Simpson
If a Show Falls in the Woods and Nobody Watches It, Does It make a Sound?
“That crater is where your lousy cartoon crash landed. It’s ratings poison!” – Krusty the Klown You’ve got to give Zombie Simpsons one thing, when they want to really put on a tour de force of crappiness, they can still do it. They had Bart and Homer acting manic and inserting themselves into other people’s lives just because. They had plenty of pointless filler, including two different scenes with characters clambering over obstacles for no discernable purpose. (And the second one wasn’t even a call back!) They took characters appearing and disappearing from scenes to new heights. And the story…
Quote of the Day
“School’s out, up yours Krabappel!” – Milhouse van Houten No new Zombie Simpsons for at least four months! Viva summer vacation!
Sunday Preview: “The Ned-liest Catch”
At long last, we’re two hours away from the end of Season 22 of Zombie Simpsons with a miserably titled finale, “The Ned-liest Catch.” I don’t even know what that means. Is Ned some of crab? Is Ms. Krabappel some sort of captain? Does anyone care? Here’s the description from Simpsons Channel, in case you do: Feeling guilty for getting Mrs. Krabappel suspended after one of his school pranks, Bart helps her escape detention, and Ned Flanders winds up saving her life in the process. When Edna and Ned start dating, he is surprised to learn she’s been with many of…
Quote of the Day
“Brilliant. Who could ever have imagined that Simpson’s sweeping reforms would pay off so quickly?” – C.M. Burns “You know, sir, accidents decreased by exactly the number that Simpson himself is known or suspected to have caused last month, and our output level was just as high during Simpson’s last vacation.” – Mr. Smithers “My dear, tired old Smithers, do I detect a note of jealousy?” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Are you sure this is the woman you saw in the post office?” – Joe Friday “Absolutely. Who could forget such a monstrous visage? She has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career criminal.” – C.M. Burns “Uh, sir, phrenology was dismissed as quackery a hundred-sixty years ago.” – Mr. Smithers “Of course you’d say that, you have the brainpan of stage coach tilter.” – C.M. Burns Happy birthday Richard Appel!
Reading Digest: Bart Flickr Edition
“Ready for inspection, Mom.” – Lisa Simpson “Very nice, Maggie. And Lisa, you look lovely. Bart, assume the position.” – Marge Simpson This week we’ve got two Flickr users putting Bart to creative use, one thanks to a big street mural, the other with a statue. There’s also some excellent usage, an apathetic Zombie Simpsons fan, lots of short YouTube clips, and new blog that holds the promise of cool Simpsons stuff. Oh, and Lenny Tunes was killin’ it this week. Enjoy. Love is in the Air in Springfield and ‘The Simpsons’ Fans Get to Play Cupid – FOX is…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user bryce_edwards. “Ah, the Gammills, good to see you.” – C.M. Burns “You’re an inspiration to all of us in waste management, sir.” – Mr. Gammill “Well, take your mind off contaminants for one night and have a hot dog.” – C.M. Burns