“You said this monkey would be sweeping the floors and cleaning the gutters. And now he just lies there, struggling to breathe.” – Marge Simpson “What do you want? His cholesterol’s through the roof.” – Homer Simpson
Tag: Girly Edition
Makeup Quote of the Day
“The monkey’s on my part of the sofa.” – Marge Simpson “Honey, he’s clearly marked his territory.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“They call her ‘The Cat Lady’. People say she’s crazy just because she has a few dozen cats. But can anyone who loves animals that much really be crazy?” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, for pete’s sakes, why is that monkey wearing a diaper?” – Marge Simpson “Enh.” – Homer Simpson & Mojo the Helper Monkey Happy 20th Anniversary to “Girly Edition”! Original airdate 19 April 1998.
Quote of the Day
“The old Union Pacific doesn’t come by here much anymore…” – Lisa Simpson
Behind Us Forever: Fatzcarraldo
“And I’ll be able to tackle all the hard hitting children’s news the grown-up controlled media won’t touch. Plus I get to be on TV!” – Lisa Simpson Zombie Simpsons long ago stopped astonishing me with how bad it can be, but every once and a while I can’t help but marvel at just how far the writing has devolved. These episodes mostly adhere to the loosest of structures: an A-plot, a supplemental B-plot, both wrapping up near the end. But the incredibly low bar they have for what counts as a story (or as a resolution) is remarkable when you…
Quote of the Day
“Alright, if you’re so smart, tell me who I selected to be lunchroom monitor.” – Principal Skinner “Me?” – Lisa Simpson “Take your sash and go.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, do you think maybe my power plant killed those ducks?” – C.M. Burns “There’s no ‘maybe’ about it, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Excellent.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Bart, look up here. This is where the tears would be if I could cry. But I can’t. Botched facelift.” – Channel 6 Executive
Quote of the Day
“Do not be alarmed. That is just my helper monkey, sir. I got him after a robber shot me six times and left me for dead.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Helper monkey, eh?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Brockman, I need your help. I’ve got to become a great anchor so I can show up my sister.” – Bart Simpson “Sister, huh? I’ve got a sister, miss big shot CNN Washington correspondent. Pfft! Well, she’s not the boss of me! Come in.” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“Ooh, the gum with the cracker center.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Mom, am I dumb?” – Bart Simpson “Honey, I’d love to reassure you, but right now mommy needs a tetanus shot.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Our license renewal is on the bubble. We need educational programming, fast.” – Channel 6 Executive “What about that Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour?” – Krusty the Klown “That’s barely legal as it is.” – Channel 6 Executive
All Exposition All the Time
“Eww.” – Lisa Simpson Near the beginning of The Great Muppet Caper, Diana Rigg, playing wealthy fashion designer Lady Holiday, tells Miss Piggy all about her ne’er-do-well brother and the giant diamond that will be central to the plot. Miss Piggy then asks Rigg why she’s telling her all that stuff. Rigg’s response should be carved into the walls of studios, film schools, and wherever they’re producing Zombie Simpsons these days: It’s plot exposition. It has to go somewhere. Indeed it does, but “somewhere” is not “everywhere”, a distinction that was lost on “How I Wet Your Mother”. About two…
Quote of the Day
“So, by waking up a little early and having some extra sheets handy, no one’s the wiser. Tomorrow, destroying the evidence.” – Milhouse van Houten
Crazy Noises: Girly Edition
“I want you to take that monkey back so he can be rehabilitated and get a second chance.” – Marge Simpson “No, no, he’s fine. Go on, Mojo, show Marge your Happy Dance!” – Homer Simpson There’s no new Zombie Simpsons until September at the earliest (October? fingers crossed!), so we’re going to spend the summer overthinking Season 9. Why Season 9? Because we did Season 8 last summer, and Season 9 was when the show started becoming more Zombie than Simpsons. Since we’re too lazy to do audio and too ugly to do video, we’ve booked a “chatroom” (ours…
Synergy Feasts on Crumbs
When it comes to “reviewing” Zombie Simpsons, IGN basically has two tools at its disposal: low standards and positive spin. This week’s sycophantic drivel is heavy on the latter. These aren’t recycled ideas that have been done much better in the past, they’re “variations of themes”. Sarah Silverman’s character (hereafter referred to as “Girlfriend #8”) isn’t a one dimensional character who exists only to kiss and longboard, she’s a “female version of Bart”. Skinner and Willy kissing for hours isn’t wholly unnecessary filler, it “was probably funnier on paper”. It can’t be easy to suck stale crumbs off the floor…
Quote of the Day
“You could learn a lot from him Mary Ann.” – News Executive Lady “It’s Lisa.” – Lisa Simpson “Mary Ann’s better.” – News Executive Lady
Quote of the Day
“Let’s take the trophy route to the den. Twelve Newsies, seven Iron Mics, four Golden Coiffs, this is the most prestigious award that Del Monte gives. Do you want to hear my award winning secret? Human interest stories, they tug at the heart and fog the mind.” – Kent Brockman