“So the next time somebody tells you carny folk are good, honest people, you can spit in their faces for me.” – Barney Gumble “I will, Mr. Gumble. But, if you’ll excuse me, I’m profiling my Dad for the school paper. I thought it would be neat to follow him around for a day to see what makes him tick.” – Lisa Simpson “Aww, that’s sweet. I used to follow my Dad to a lot of bars too.” – Barney Gumble
Tag: Homer Defined
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Burns, people are calling this a meltdown.” – Kent Brockman “Oh, ‘meltdown’, it’s one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus.” – C.M. Burns Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer Defined”! Original airdate 17 October 1991.
Quote of the Day
“My best friend shafted me. I’ll never get over this, Otto man.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, sure you will. You know, once my old lady ran off and married my brother. Well, it hurt, but here it is a month later, and I’m sleeping on their couch!” – Otto Edited to fix my inability to discern words in English.
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user TooFarNorth. “How are you enjoying your ham, Homie?” – Marge Simpson “Tastes so bitter it’s like ashes in my mouth.” – Homer Simpson “Hmm, it’s actually more of a honey glaze.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well, Marge, the other day Milhouse told me my meatloaf ‘sucks’. He must’ve gotten that from your little boy, because they certainly don’t say that word on TV.” – Luann van Houten
Quote of the Day
“These unfortunate people here will be instantly killed. This circle, which I am sad to say we are in, will experience a slower, considerably more painful death.” – Professor Frink
Quote of the Day
“Margarita, I want you.” – Avery Devereaux “Mr. Devereaux! I can’t work under these conditions!” – Margarita “Have it your way, baby. You’re fired.” – Avery Devereaux “Oh, Avery!” – Margarita “Call me Mr. Devereaux!” – Avery Devereaux
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user minjungkim. “Dear lord, if you spare this town from becoming a smoking hole in the ground, I’ll try to be a better Christian. I don’t know what I can do, um . . . oh, the next time there’s a canned food drive I’ll give the poor something they’d actually like instead of old lima beans and pumpkin mix.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What’s the matter Homer? The depressing effects of alcohol usually don’t kick in ’til closing time.” – Moe Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user quinn.anya.
The Blueprint of the Enemy
“Hey, this is the only paper in America that’s not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine.” – Homer Simpson There was an article in USA Today last month about the merchandising future of The Simpsons. It is a fucking horror show for anyone who understands the concept of Zombie Simpsons. The whole thing is worth reading, but there are a couple of very frightening passages that deserve special attention: Consumers worldwide spent more than $750 million on Simpsons-related licensed merchandise last year, about half of that coming from the U.S., Fox says. In addition, advertisers spent…
Quote of the Day
“Call me old fashioned, but movies were sexier when the actors kept their clothes on. Vilma Banky could do more for me with one raised eyebrow than an entire-” – C.M. Burns “Warning. Problem in Sector 7-G.” – Computer “7-G? Good God, who’s the safety inspector there?” – C.M. Burns “Homer Simpson, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Simpson, eh? Good man? Intelligent?” – C.M. Burns “Actually sir, he was hired under Project Bootstrap.” – Mr. Smithers “Thank you President Ford.” – C.M. Burns