Tag: Homer Defined

“May I ask how you spent your weekend?” – Mr. Smithers “A bit overly familiar, but I’ll allow it. I took in a movie. An appalling little piece of filth, it’s leading ‘lady’ was a blonde harlot who spent half the film strolling around naked as a jaybird. Oh, just give the great unwashed a pair of oversized breasts and a happy ending and they’ll oink for more every time.” – C.M. Burns “What a movie! And that blonde cutie? Does she have assets!” – Homer Simpson “Sounds like my kind of flick!” – Lenny “And how!” – Carl

“Okay, okay, think back to your training!” – Homer Simpson “Homer, this may very well save your life one day. This . . . Homer.” – SNPP Trainer “Yeah?” – Homer Simpson “Please pay attention. This button here controls the emergency override circuit. In the event of a meltdown, push this button and only this button.” – SNPP Trainer “Ooh, a side.” – Homer Simpson “Simpson!” – SNPP Trainer “You see which button I’m pushing?” – SNPP Trainer “Yeah, yeah, yeah, push the button. Got it.” – Homer Simpson

“I think that game is too old for her. Why don’t you go  play with Milhouse?” – Marge Simpson “I don’t wanna play with Milhouse.” – Bart Simpson “You mean you still haven’t made up with him?” – Marge Simpson “It’s his mom. She says I’m a bad influence. C’mon, Maggie, let’s go throw rocks at that hornet’s nest.” – Bart Simpson

“He’s just a little nervous. He has to give a speech tomorrow on how to keep cool in a crisis.” – Lisa Simpson “What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?” – Homer Simpson “Hey, I had to give a speech once. I was pretty nervous, so I used a little trick: I pictured everyone in their underwear, the judge, the jury, my lawyer, everybody.” – Barney Gumble “Did it work?” – Homer Simpson “I’m a free man, ain’t I?” – Barney Gumble

“I can assure you and the public that there’s absolutely no danger whatsoever. Things couldn’t be more shipshape.” – C.M. Burns “Sir, where’s my radiation suit?” – Mr. Smithers “How the hell should I know?” – C.M. Burns

“On the line with us now is plant owner C. Montgomery Burns. Mr. Burns?” – Kent Brockman “Oh, hello, Kent. Right now, skilled nuclear energy technicians are calmly correcting a minor piffling malfunction.” – C.M. Burns

“Will I ever see you again?” – Female Nuclear Plant Employee “Sure, baby. Next meltdown.” – Male Nuclear Plant Employee

“Uh, Magic, what if people think a guy’s a hero but he was really just lucky?” – Homer Simpson “Don’t worry.  Sooner or later, people like that are exposed as the frauds they are.” – Magic Johnson “Thanks, Magic.” – Homer Simpson

“Otto, did you know there’s a small child inside your bus?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Oh, good thing you warned me.  I was on my way to Mexico.” – Otto

“Noise.  Bad noise.” – Homer Simpson “Five minutes before critical mass.” – Power Plant Computer “Critical wha? . . . Okay, okay, don’t panic, whosever problem this is, I’m sure they know how to handle it. . . . Ahh!  It’s my problem, we’re doomed!” – Homer Simpson

“Mrs. van Houten, I’m Bart’s mother.  We met in the emergency room when the boys drank paint.” – Marge Simpson “I remember.  Please, come in.” – Luann van Houten

“What?  What is it?  What are you doing?” – Homer Simpson “Looking at you with quiet awe.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, as long as its quiet.” – Homer Simpson

“Bart, don’t feed your sister hotels.” – Marge Simpson “Don’t worry, Mom, there’s tons of these things.” – Bart Simpson

“Here you go, one beer, one chocolate milk.” – Moe “Uh, excuse me, I had the chocolate milk.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh.” – Moe

“She says you’re a bad influence.” – Milhouse van Houten “Bad influence my butt!  How many times have I told you?  Never listen to your mother!” – Bart Simpson

“Looks like this is the end.” – Moe “Ah, it’s alright.  I couldn’t have led a richer life.” – Barney Gumble

“Ah, Monday morning, time to pay for your two days of debauchery you hung over drones!” – C.M. Burns “TGIM, sir.” – Mr. Smithers [Note: The original version of this post had the wrong image.  It’s been fixed.]