“Thank you for coming, I’ll see you in Hell!” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Tag: Homer the Vigilante
Quote of the Day
“When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind? This reporter isn’t saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be. So, professor, would you say it’s time for everyone to panic?” – Kent Brockman “Yes I would, Kent.” – Professor
Nobody Cares About Reading
“Okay, we’ve got the secret vigilante handshake, now we need codenames. I’ll be Cue Ball, Skinner can be Eight Ball, Barney will be Twelve Ball, and, Moe, you can be Cue Ball.” – Homer Simpson “You’re an idiot.” – Moe The last two episodes of Zombie Simpsons have seen the entire opening, couch gag and all, dropped completely. They’ve also featured Matt Selman’s name before Al Jean’s in the customary spot for the show runner. Not coincidentally, the last two episodes have also seen the show impressively manage to get even further away from what once made it great. At this point I don’t think the writing staff thinks of this as anything but a sketch show. This week it was Homer running around with the kids, last week it was Marge, but it almost doesn’t matter since most of the cast is now barely recognizable as human, much less the characters they used to be. For example, Homer and Bart used to not like Patty, but here they leap right in to including her in their little scheme. There isn’t so much as a nod to anything of what we know about the Simpsons universe, all that matters to Zombie Simpsons is making sure that we understand that Homer is standing in for George Clooney and Patty is Julia Roberts. Once they have that established, the rest of it plays out like a less entertaining version of the Family Guy–Star Wars mashups. Just like the Oceans Integers movies, everyone’s slick and cool and well dressed, only now they’re yellow! Just like the original, there are lots of double crosses and fake outs and everyone is winking at the camera. It’s so stylish and urbane that it thinks those are the only two things that matter. That’s how you get multiple flashbacks, an action montage, and a mistaken belief that those title cards were so funny that we needed a dozen of them. Anyway, the numbers are in and they are worse than ever. Just 5.74 million people watched Zombie Simpsons instead of reading a book last night. That isn’t just a bad number, that is a catastrophe. It’s tied for the 10th lowest number of all time, and is the lowest ever for the fall half of the season. Season 22, the lowest rated season in the show’s history, didn’t have a number that bad until February.
Quote of the Day
“We are insured, aren’t we, Mom?” – Lisa Simpson “Homer, tell your child what you bought when I sent you to town to get some insurance.” – Marge Simpson “Curse you, magic beans!” – Homer Simpson “Oh, stop blaming the beans.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“So, Mr. Malloy, it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person that was trying to catch him.” – Homer Simpson “How ironic.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Oh, sorry folks, gee I really hate to spoil this little love-in. But Mr. Malloy broke the law, and when you break the law you gotta go to jail.” – Chief Wiggum “Ah, that reminds me, here’s your monthly kickback.” – Mayor Quimby “You just, you couldn’t have picked a worse time.” – Chief Wiggum
“Poppa’s Got a Brand New Badge” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“Dad, don’t you see you’re abusing your power like all vigilantes? I mean, if you’re the police, who will police the police?” – Lisa Simpson “I dunno, Coast Guard?” – Homer Simpson Oh, Joe Mantegna, I wish you were on every commentary. In case you’ve forgotten, in this episode Homer becomes the police force for Springfield and then Fat Tony tries to assassinate him, and then Maggie shots Fat Tony, and then it ends. If that sounds like a weak mashup of “Homer the Vigilante” and “The Twisted World of Marge Simpson” with a dash of “Who Shot Mr. Burns, Part 2”, that’s because that’s largely what it is. Fortunately, the commentary only rarely takes notice of the episode, and instead kills time with discussions of The Sopranos, Don Knotts and Dean Martin, it also finds time for funny stories from Mantegna and others. Only six people on this one, including Caroline Omine and Mantegna. 1:00 – The idea for this episode came when someone had to get one of those private security systems installed. 2:00 – Rehashing the origin of a joke about a fake monster’s wallet that shows up later. This leads to general banter of a not particularly remarkable kind. 3:00 – Mantegna was once in Australia shooting a mini-series, and interviewers kept asking him about Fat Tony and Simpsons. 3:20 – That leads to talk about the time Mantegna played Dean Martin. 4:00 – And that leads to a Dean Martin story about a time he called the cops on a party at his own house. 4:45 – Jean’s telling Mantegna that they’re going to kill Fat Tony and have him replaced by Fit Tony. I guess they were working on that worthless “Donnie Fatso” episode around this time. 5:05 – Mantegna’s talking about his Uncle Willie who was the basis for the Fat Tony voice. It’s funny. 5:50 – Following up on that, Omine and Jean talk about how sometimes people in real life think things on the show are based on them when they really aren’t. I guess Wikipedia used to say that Homer was based on Jean’s dad, but that isn’t true so he deleted it. 6:30 – Generalized discussion about how quickly the town riots. Jean then recounts how there were huge disasters in Southern California seemingly every three weeks in the early 90s. 7:20 – Apropos of nothing, Jean just asked Gould to do his Don Knotts impression. This leads to a story about meeting Don Knotts. 8:40 – Actual note on the show: sometimes the cast is kind of protective of their characters, so in this scene Bart is being eyed suspiciously by Homer for eating an apple instead of Lisa because Yardley Smith thought it was too Jerkass Homer (not her words) for him to be mad at Lisa. 9:35 – Selman’s telling a story about a time he called his security company because he heard a noise that turned out to be an ice machine. They told him…
Quote of the Day
“The burglar even took my stamp collection!” – Bart Simpson “You had a stamp collection?” – Lisa Simpson Family laughs uncontrollably. “Stamp collection? Ha ha!” – Nelson Muntz
Idiot to Continue Poisoning Liver with Simpsons Episodes
“Asleep at the switch! I wasn’t asleep, I was drunk!” – Homer Simpson Counting last night’s, there’s been a new Zombie Simpsons for five consecutive weeks. There are two more weeks to go before the season ends. It’s the longest streak of new episodes since I started watching Zombie Simpsons when we began this blog last year, and it’s getting to me. Fortunately, there’s a sure fire pick me up. It’s time for another Simpsons-Beer marathon. Just like last time I’ve put a poll at right. Since I already did Season 5, I’ve replaced it in the poll with Season 7. Before anyone asks, should Season 7 win, I will only be watching 24 of the 25 episodes. I will not let “Marge Be Not Proud” spoil my good time. If you’re new around here, those two links will give you all the background you need. The poll will be open all week and will close at midnight on Friday night here in the States (04:00 Saturday the 15th GMT). A short list of episode titles in each season is here, a more detailed list is here. Just like last time, the marathon should start around 8:00am Eastern time (12:00 GMT) on Saturday, and I’ll post increasingly intoxicated updates as the awesome, awesome day progresses. Update 15 May: And it’s Season 6 in a landslide! Thanks to everyone who voted and, once again, a special thanks to the lone Season 2 voter. Don’t worry Joey, we’ll make it to California someday.
Quote of the Day
“You let me down, man. Now I don’t believe in nothin’ no more. I’m goin’ to law school.” – Jimbo Jones “Nooooooooo!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Who chased the Irish out of Springfield village in aught four? Me, that’s who!” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson “And a fine job you did, too.” – Irish Guy
Forfty
XKCD #386 Quoting and referencing The Simpsons – a lot – is part and parcel of being a Simpsons fan. Since I’m an asshole, I love excellent or appropriate usage and loathe poor or inappropriate usage. (Though I’ll admit that I’m frequently guilty of the latter.) Today during my daily perusing of the internet I came across this from The United Church Observer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.” This is a citation that frequently gets screwed up. Can you spot the error? Let’s try another example; this one is from a source which could not be more different than a 180 year old Canadian Jebus magazine, a comment thread up at the illogical, blasphemous and ultra-violent Kissing Suzy Kolber: Otto Man Says: March 2nd, 2009 at 1:30 pm Listen, Stu, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that. See the difference now? “Forty percent” “14%” Those are both common ways for that quote to be used and both are incorrect. The actual quote, and SNPP will back me up on this, is: “Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that.” Forfty. Homer makes up a number. It is neither fourteen nor forty, it is “forfty”. Selah. (Note: KSK is a site wonderfully heavy with Simpsons references and Otto Man is one of their all-star commenters, so I offer the above in only the friendliest of ways. I am not a regular reader of The United Church Observer so I can’t speak to their history with Simpsons quotes.)