Fifteen years ago, when The Simpsons was still on the air, The Critic had a scene set in the “Oliver Twist Preschool”. Skip to the 4:30 mark: For anyone who can’t get the video, here’s the important part: Adorable Child Laborer: Sir, have we made enough Simpsons merchandise yet? Cruel Workhouse Guy: Never! Never, indeed. Three years before that, The Simpsons itself made fun of its own production process: Again, for anyone who can’t see the video (or in case it gets pulled): Kent Brockman: I’m here live in Korea to give you a first hand look at how American cartoons are made. Those two things and the overwrought sixty second opening from Zombie Simpsons, kinda the same or exactly the same? I’d lean towards exactly, but that’s just me. I found that second YouTube video via a smart post by Jaime Weinman at Macleans.ca, which was far and away the best take on this thing I saw: Still, maybe it’s because I’m used to the Simpsons era where a long couch gag was just a sign of an episode that ran short (remember the dancing/circus one that was intended to be the longest ever? Now it’s not even close), but I’m not always blown away by these long gags. Mainly because they are just that, long, and I like The Simpsons best when it’s most concise. […] But they already did essentially the same gag in the fourth season episode “Itchy and Scratchy the Movie,” and they did it in only a few seconds. The great thing about The Simpsons in its prime is that it could pack a tremendous amount of satire into a very short joke. Just as they could sum up all the absurdity of the entire MacGyver series with one line of dialogue (“Don’t thank me, thank the moon’s gravitational pull”), one shot and one line from Kent Brockman could say about five different things about the outsourcing of American animation to overseas studios. Exactly. The opening lingers on each of its little cruelties long after you’ve gotten the joke because for all its style there isn’t much substance here. Yes they’re using cats to make stuffing for Bart Simpson dolls, yes they’re using a dolphin’s head to seal boxes, yes they’re animating in a sweatshop, but instead of moving along quickly and trusting the audience to follow things, they stop repeatedly and bash the joke into your face. What ideas there are, up to and including the unicorn and the North Korean FOX logo, were from Banksy. The wretched pacing and enormous length were all Zombie Simpsons. Here’s Al Jean, revealing perhaps a little more than he should in his congratulatory interview with The New York Times: Q. How did you find Banksy to do this, and now that it’s done, how much trouble are you in? A. Well, I haven’t been fired yet, so that’s a good sign. I saw the film Banksy directed, “Exit Through the Gift Shop,” and I thought, oh,…
Tag: Itchy and Scratchy the Movie
Quote of the Day
“Chief Justice of the Supreme Court; what great men he would join. John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Burger… mmm, burger.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Guest Voice Apathy Edition
“And you wouldn’t believe the celebrities who did cameos, Dustin Hoffman, Michael Jackson, of course, they didn’t use their real names, but you could tell it was them.” – Lisa Simpson This week it came out that Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg (who has a movie coming out) and Mad Men’s Jon Hamm (fourth season starts this weekend) will be guest voicing on the next season of Zombie Simpsons. I care so little about this that I didn’t even find a link worth linking. On the plus side, there’s some excellent usage, a “think of the children” moment, a preacher who knows his Simpsons, and black and white YouTube. Enjoy. List-Mania: More Simpsons! – A list of five favorite Simpsons characters with quotes, nary a one from Zombie Simpsons. Bravo. News Media an Exclusive Playground for Pro-Police Lobby – My quest for the widespread acceptance of forfty continues: Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, 14 percent of all people know that. Forfty! (Also, he says “Kent” before “forfty”.) Towards the end of the article, it’s about trumped up crime statistics in Calgary, is a mostly correct citation of Lisa and Homer’s exchange about the rock that keeps tigers away. Moderate usage all around. Episcopal minister knows his ‘Simpsons’ – A Simpsons quiz in Sioux City, Iowa was won by Torey Lightcap, who not only is an Episcopal minister but uses them in his sermons: "’The Simpsons’ are so universally and instantly identifiable that I can refer to them and feel confident that people will know who I’m talking about," Lightcap, who received a $10 Hy-Vee gift certificate for his win, said. Congratulations, reverend. [Visual] James Hopkins – Perspective Sculptures – This is really cool. These are sculptures that only look right when viewed from a specific angle. There’s one of the family on the couch (with the kids and adults reversed in size) and one of Itchy & Scratchy. Alanah Throop’s “Top 10 Worst Fictional Bosses” – Mr. Burns checks in at #3. Hard to argue with Darth Vader at #1, he goes through subordinates awfully quickly. Happy Birthday, Edward Hopper! – Hopper was the guy who originally painted that famous scene of the people sitting at the diner. It’s accompanied here by it’s possibly even more famous derivation with dead celebrities, and a Simpsons version. So how do you stop the ferris wheel again? – Remembering a job at the carnival, and first hand proof that real life Carnies are just like Cooder and Spud. Media literacy and why Homer matters – Remember that guy in England who thought his kid’s school was leaning too heavily on The Simpsons. Now he’s getting plunked by everyone and their mother on Twitter. BP Ad/Well-Cap Visuals: Out of Sight, Out of Mind – BP’s desire to not be seen as the bad guys despite being the bad guys makes for dishonest visuals and excellent usage: This visual sleight (slight)-of-hand ties in neatly with the intuitive intelligence of people who live…
Quote of the Day
“Homer, we’d like to talk to you.” – Marge Simpson “But then I won’t be watching TV, you can see the bind I’m in.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hubba hubba, oh you kid.” – Bart Simpson “Thank you dear, now be good for Grampa while we’re at the parent-teacher meeting. We’ll bring back dinner.” – Marge Simpson “What are we going to have?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you’ve been good, pizza. If you’ve been bad… uh, let’s see… poison.” – Homer Simpson “What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?” – Lisa Simpson “Poison pizza.” – Bart Simpson “Oh no, I’m not making two stops.” – Homer Simpson
That’s Okay Lisa, We Can’t Believe This Is Still Happening Either
“Bart has been guilty of the following atrocities: synthesizing a laxative from peas and carrots, replacing my birth control pills with tic tacs.” – Mrs. Krabappel Well, that was unpleasant. A few weeks ago Bart was way out of character worrying about his future. This time he’s way out of character worrying about not having a brother. As per usual the nonsensical storyline wasn’t nearly meaty enough to fill the allotted time so there was plenty of clock killing montages (including a star studded dream sequence that was as humorless as it was unbelievably long). What jokes there were tended to be either ripped off or recycled from earlier episodes. That they were done much poorer than in the original goes almost without saying. The final word here comes from Zombie Simpsons itself. Near the beginning, as Homer was acting even jerkier than usual, an exasperated and disbelieving Lisa simply said, “Really?”. Really.
Reading Digest: Movie Leftovers Edition
“It’s just not the same.” – Bart Simpson To go along with the fact that the Simpsonize Me website is still down we’ve got two other links to leftover stuff from the Simpsons movie this week. Also there’s a little bit of video, some pointless internet lists, one piece of excellent usage, and a blogger who agrees with us. Enjoy. Limited "unlimited" claims should be banned – This is a discussion about how services are pretty much always lying to you when they promise unlimited anything. It starts by quoting Lionel Hutz questioning Marge about what happened at the all you can eat seafood restaurant. The quote is almost dead on and even though Hutz is listed only as “Lawyer”, I’m still calling it excellent usage. Me fail English? That’s unpossible! – YouTube for the hell of it. No other reason given or needed. Man getting hit by football – Speaking of short YouTube clips, here’s a ref taking a football in the groin. (Also there’s a link to the Simpsons version.) it’s the Top 5… hairstyles in the movies! – Marge comes in at #1, beating out Princess Leia. 100 Reasons to Love Winnipeg – #54: Homer Simpson is from here. In 2002, Simpsons creator Matt Groening noted his father, also named Homer, was born in Canada, making the lovable cartoon character a Canadian, too. But from where? “Uh, if you went straight north from Kansas, where would that be? Winnipeg? Yes, Winnipeg!” Good enough for us. Given what’s happened to their hockey team since it moved to Phoenix, I’m inclined to give this to them. Ken Griffey Jr: The Forgotten Superstar – This rather schmaltzy article praises Griffey, mentions that the Simpsons was still good in 1997 and . . . doesn’t mention Griffey on the Simpsons. How is that possible? Trinity Mirror gives away Simpsons comic – Some Scottish newspaper readers will get some free Simpsons comics this weekend. Awesome Pictures: The Simpsons do Abbey Road – It’s that Simpsons/Abbey Road picture I loathe. (Just to be clear, I understand why people like this, it’s just sad that there’s a better one that is almost completely ignored.) You know i love you – Well, at least one person’s doing that scavenger hunt thing. Look at that entry form! I don’t see a space for Social Security # and a blood sample, so those are probably on the next screen. The WWE is a lot like The Simpsons – Simpsons characters with their professional wrestling equivalents. Panel offers comic relief for comic strips in distress – A brief recap of Groening’s appearance in Chicago last weekend. XUP – The faces behind some famous cartoon voices, including some Simpsons people and Mel Blanc, one of the all time greats. Simpsons Come to the Springfield Museum – One of those big couches from the movie is moving into the Springfield Museum in Springfield, Oregon. Real Life Kwik-E-Mart – Much like the giant couch, this appears to be from two years…
Isn’t There An Award Show I Could Be Watching?
“TV sucks.” – Bart Simpson “How The Test Was Won” will be airing in about a half-hour, and instead of doing my duty and watching it so I may rip on it, I am seriously considering watching the Cops marathon on Tru TV. The Comcast (ugh) promo clearly states that Bart is going to be swept under the rug again, and Homer will have to avoid getting hurt because his insurance has lapsed. Homer hasn’t been safe from a weekly life-threatening injury in 11 years, so my guess is that he’s screwed. But don’t take my word for it, watch any episode of Zombie Simpsons and you will see that even with a p value of 7 sigmas, it is statistically impossible for Homer not to get hurt tonight. Just thinking about this episode has made me anxious enough to go take a Xanax. So if you will excuse me please.
Quote of the Day
“Homer, do you want your son to become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or a sleazy male stripper?” – Marge Simpson “Can’t he be both, like the late Earl Warren?” – Homer Simpson “Earl Warren wasn’t a stripper.” – Marge Simpson “Now who’s being naive?” – Homer Simpson