“Uh, the devil with his fly open.” – Homer Simpson “Right.” – Psychiatrist “Uh, that’s a spill on the floor with bugs going after it. And they’re gonna eat it.” – Homer Simpson “Good.” – Psychiatrist “Let’s see, it’s . . . the boy!” – Homer Simpson In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22. Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom. Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden, unless you have a really good reason why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “unrepentant”). Homer Simpson was once given a Rorschach test. He had been involuntarily hauled to the “New Bedlam Rest Home for the Emotionally Interesting” for the grievous crime of wearing a pink shirt to work. No introduction was needed, the scene just picked up with Homer reporting what he saw. The whole thing barely takes ten seconds and each line is a joke. In “How Munched is That Birdie in the Window”, Zombie Homer was acting out like the jerk he is when Marge distracted him with Rorschach pages. This led to a twenty second long series of grunts and screams. None of them had anything to do with what few ink blots were shown. There was hardly any dialogue; it was mostly Homer making faces while Castellaneta made noises. The other characters in the room didn’t react to this or anything, they just sat patiently and waited for him to finish. It was almost as if they knew they were in a crappy sitcom. Charlie Sweatpants: Time to take the plunge? Mad Jon: I am ready. Charlie Sweatpants: In that case, let me start out by saying that this felt like they were pulling words and concepts out of a hat. Mad Jon: That’s a pretty good description. It was even more randomly taped together than usual. Charlie Sweatpants: I know I complain about the stories every week, and it’s not unusual for the first act to have nothing to do with the rest of the episode, but this was even worse than usual. Dave: Manatees and idea balls, perhaps? Charlie Sweatpants: It wasn’t just the first act, it was the first half, and even that was padded left and right with whatever happened to fill up enough screen time. Between that thing that was like an Itchy & Scratchy, and that Patton bit, and the angels, and the horror story . . . it just kept getting more and more random. Mad Jon: I did think they were going to make Homer talk in that voice the entire episode, but then they surprised me and had him do other random activities and voices…. Also, Danica…
Tag: Stark Raving Dad
Quote of the Day
“Hey Mom, Dad’s in a mental institution.” – Bart Simpson “Oh my god, mother was right.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Everything changes when you hit the big one-oh. Your legs start to go, candy doesn’t taste as good anymore . . .” – Bart Simpson
Saturday Morning YouTubage
For no particular reason other than I found it when doing the link dump yesterday and it’s much too cool not to be its own post:
Quote of the Day
“Now, make sure we have plenty of cold cuts, and put some beer on ice-” – Homer Simpson “Um, Homer, I’m a vegetarian and I don’t drink.” – Leon Kompowski “Are you sure you’re here voluntarily?” – Homer Simpson Rest in peace, Leon.
Quote of the Day
“Why is that man in pink?” – C.M. Burns “Oh uh, that’s Homer Simpson, sir. He’s one of your boobs from Sector 7-G.” – Mr. Smithers “Simpson, eh? Well judging by his outlandish attire he’s some sort of free thinking anarchist.” – C.M. Burns “I’ll call security, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Excellent. Yes, these color monitors have already paid for themselves.” – C.M. Burns
Friday Link Dump
“Look boy, either Michael Jackson is some guy working in a recording studio in L.A., or he’s here with you willing to work on this song.” – Leon Kompowski Will posting links to random things that mention The Simpsons become a Friday tradition? Do you care? I sure don’t. Michael Jackson in 1992: ‘I think I had a crush on him’ – Looking back on it, Michael Jackson’s association with Bart Simpson is one of those pop culture coincidences that just makes the mind reel. Watch the ‘Do the Bartman’ video, especially the pelvic thrusting, and tell me it isn’t weirder than the Super Bowl XXVII halftime show. (Also, there are more and better visual gags in that video than in all of Season 20 so far.) The world’s funniest orgasm – Sex advice columns are proof that our culture is capable of working at hilarious cross purposes. This has almost nothing to do with The Simpsons, but invoking an animated, ten-year-old child to describe an orgasm laugh is too good to pass up. It’s hard work being an ant – I have no idea what this is about (there are several others if you click on the author link), whether or not the survey being referenced is real, or what the other choices besides “Homer Simpson” were. Let’s move on. Grand Funk Railroad – Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974, it’s a scientific fact. I would also submit this as further proof of why Homer and Marge are out of place in 2009. Laura Yeager: “Tips for the Bipolar Marriage” – I suppose someone with diagnosed bipolar disorder gets a pass on glaringly poor usage like this: Hold a weekly family meeting to discuss your issues. Ours were called the “Eat My Shorts” sessions, in homage to Homer Simpson. That done, there is an entire magazine dedicated to bipolar people and the website is http://www.bphope.com? That’s a terrible business model; if you show people how to live comfortably with their disorder then they won’t need your magazine. 10th-Grader’s Site nocussing.com Inspires No Cussing Week in L.A. – Hey, kid: fuck you. Also, “the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors issued a proclomation [sic] that the first week of March will be “No Cussing Weak.”” You know what, they’re right, cussing is week. Profile: Secretary of State Terri Lynn Land is in the driver’s seat – If I hadn’t had such positive recent experience with the Michigan DMV, and I’m serious about that, I’d be pissed about this photo: Press File PhotoTerri Lynn Land wearing a Marge Simpson wig at this year’s Coffee Dunker’s breakfast. Doin it and doin it and doin it in public – People worry that the internet is going to destroy libraries as we know them, but can you fuck inside the internet? I think not. Nit pick time: Even Homer and Marge Simpson rekindle their sex life by doing the deed at a miniature golf course. They were interrupted when they were trying to rekindle their sex life;…
End the Simpsons #3 – The Rise of Team Mischief
“Doctor, if you just talk to him for five minutes without mentioning our son Bart you’d see how sane he is.” – Marge Simpson “You mean there really is a Bart? Good Lord!” – New Bedlam Psychiatrist In the before time, in the long long ago, Homer and Bart Simpson didn’t like each other. Homer saw Bart as an ungrateful, undisciplined troublemaker who made his life harder than it needed to be; Bart saw Homer as a rather stern authority figure who was hypocritical, inattentive and downright mean. Homer was a bad father and Bart a bad son, but they were stuck with each other and whatever moments of genuine affection that occurred between them were fleeting and infrequent. They weren’t outright adversaries, exactly, but they found themselves opposed to each other a lot more often than not. Gradually that changed; they became fellow travelers out to make a buck or have some fun. Their relationship, which was once so recognizable to a lot of American fathers and American sons, became a television sketch that had no connection to reality: What wacky antics will the inseparable duo get up to this week? The tension that once existed between them, a tremendously rich comedy vein, has completely dissolved.