Tag: Team Homer

“Ahh, they think they’re so high and mighty, just cause they never got caught driving without pants.” – Moe

“Then I just need your five hundred dollar registration fee.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen “Five hundred dollars! . . . Oh, no problem. Would you take an out of state, two-party bad check?” – Homer Simpson

“Might as well close the dump.” – Moe “I am going to drink you under the table.” – Mayor Quimby “No, I am going to drink you under the . . . aww.” – Alcoholic Boston Irishman

“So, we meet again, Mad Magazine.” – Principal Skinner “How do you know it’s from Mad?” – Bart Simpson “The year was 1968, we were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flak jacket, revealing a t-shirt with an iron-on sporing the Mad slogan, ‘Up With Miniskirts’. Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn’t quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed Charlie to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish,…

“No, I will not pay you five hundred dollars for sex!” – Marge Simpson “Aw, come on, Marge! You’re getting something in return, and I’m getting a bowling team. It’s win-win!” – Homer Simpson “It’s sick! And I don’t have that kind of money to spend on sex.” – Marge Simpson

“Well, you’re closing. It’s getting late. My kids are probably wondering where their daddy is. . . . There’s gotta be some other place we can go! Think, Moe! Think!” – Homer Simpson

“I almost forgot! I brought you all a little something.” – C.M. Burns “Aw, would you look at that? The Pin Pals.” – Moe “At last! I finally have a garment fine enough to be married in.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

“Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.” – Moe

“The Mad Magazine special edition! They only put out seventeen of these a year!” – Bart Simpson “Boy, they’re really socking it to that Spiro Agnew guy again. He must work there or something.” – Milhouse van Houten

“Gee, business stinks tonight.  Where’s Barney, Lenny and Carl?” – Moe “Ah, they never come around anymore now that they’ve got their mistresses.” – Homer Simpson

“I don’t care if it takes me all night, I’m gonna get me that lobster harmonica!  C’mon, Lobsty! . . . Oh.” – Otto

“Ah, these uniforms are a godsend.  Horseplay is down forty percent, youthful exuberance has been cut in half, high spirits are at an all time low.” – Principal Skinner

“I can’t believe I got booted off the team for Mr. Businessman.  I bet I’ll get a little respect once I get that Harvard diploma.” – Otto

“Stop everything!  I don’t remember writing a check for bowling.” – C.M. Burns “Uh, sir, that’s a check for your boweling.” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, yes, that’s very important.” – C.M. Burns “Yes, sir.  Remember that month you didn’t do it.” – Mr. Smithers “Yes, that was unpleasant for all concerned.” – C.M. Burns

“Mom, my slingshot doesn’t fit in these pockets, and these shorts leave nothing to the imagination, these uniforms suck.” – Bart Simpson “Bart!  Where do you pick up words like that?” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night.  They just plain sucked.  I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, watch your mouth!” – Marge Simpson “I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening.” – Homer Simpson

“Sorry, it’s league night.  I couldn’t give a lane to my own mother.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen “I have no son.” – Lunchlady Doris

“I was wondering if you’d like to sponsor my bowling team for five hundred dollars?” – Homer Simpson “Why certainly Poppin’ Fresh!  I owe my robust physique to your tubes of triple bleached goo.” – C.M. Burns