“Is it true we should wait at least an hour after eating before we go in?” – Marge Simpson “Look, question lady, this job is not what I really do, okay? I play keyboards.” – Pool Sharks Guy
Tag: Bart of Darkness
Sharpening
“Grace, come here. There’s a sinister looking kid I want you to see.” – Jimmy Stewart Springfield’s seamy underbelly gets the MS Paint treatment courtesy of a slow morning at work for reader Robin (whose Troy McClure tattoo is almost done). First, the original: He’s made a game of it, seeing how many pencils he can sharpen in an hour, and then trying to break that record. Now, the remixes: You’re sharpening them all wrong, Seymour. And: All that sharpening has made him hungry and, look, there’s a lemon behind that clock! Thanks Robin!
Reading Digest: Vicarious Popularity Edition
“They’re only using you for your pool, you know.” – Lisa’s Brain “Shutup brain! I got friends now, I don’t need you anymore.” – Lisa Simpson The signal to noise ratio for on-line Simpsons stuff plummeted again this week on account of the music video commercial replacing the usual opening. Yawn. I’m used to it by now, it happens whenever Zombie Simpsons makes another desperate play for relevance. It happened with Marge in Playboy; it happened with the Israel episode; it happened with the 20th anniversary. It’s going to happen again in a couple of weeks when the American Idol…
How Not to Photoshop Your Crappy Merchandise
“Ohhh, The Tinkler. I like the sound of that.” – Homer Simpson The image at right is for an AM/FM radio in the shape of Homer. On the product website it is listed as “no longer available”, which is no great loss. What I’d like to draw your attention to, however, is the remarkably smooth line the “water” makes as it runs along Homer’s torso. And I mean really, remarkably smooth, as in no variance whatsoever. It’s one thing to advertise crappy Simpsons merchandise, lots of links I come across do that. It’s another to not even bother to photograph…
Quote of the Day
“More friends! More allies! More I say! Hang those who talk of less!” – Martin Prince
Quote of the Day
“Hello and welcome to the Springfield Police Department Rescue Phone. If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one. To choose from a list of felonies, press two. If you are being murdered or are calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line. [random number tones] You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one.” – Springfield Rescue Phone
Quote of the Day
“He’s going to kill Rod and Todd too! That’s horrible… in principle.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Tis a fine barn, but sure tis no pool, English.” – Amish Guy “D’oheth!” – Homer Simpson