Tag: Bart on the Road

“Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. . . . No, Bart has never been to Hong Kong, good night. . . . Hello? Tennessee State Police! . . . No, my son’s car was not crushed in Knoxville. I don’t know where to begin telling you what’s wrong with that. . . . Hello? No, Bart is not available tomorrow to deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam. . . . Homer, are you laughing at me?” – Marge Simpson

“If you kids can’t keep your hands to yourself, I’m gonna turn this car around and there’ll be no Cape Canaveral for anybody! . . . That’s it! Back to Winnipeg!” – Irate Canadian Father

“I must’ve spent our last ten dollars on this Al Gore doll.” – Martin Prince “You are hearing me talk.” – Al Gore Doll

“Ever wondered how crackers get salted?” – Kirk van Houten “Have I! . . . Wow!” – Milhouse van Houten “Crackers, ho!” – Salt Dog Sled Team Guy

“I’m sorry. I guess watching me isn’t any more exciting than being me.” – Homer Simpson

“We’re having the best spring break of our lives, and we don’t need you around nerding it up.” – Bart Simpson “That job is taken.” – Milhouse van Houten Happy 20th Anniversary to “Bart on the Road”! Original airdate 31 March, 1996.

“Well, you sure don’t look twenty-five, but your unlaminated, out-of-state driver’s license is proof enough for me.” – Knoxville Bonded Courier Service Guy

“Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker?” – Milhouse van Houten “I don’t see why not.” – Bart Simpson “Bart, can we stop for ice cream?” – Hitchhiker “Yes.” – Bart Simpson “Well, I didn’t think I was rehabilitated, but I guess they needed the extra bed.” – Hitchhiker

“Hey, who has better vacation ideas than AAA?  According to the publisher of this AAA guidebook, no one.” – Milhouse van Houten

“I realize it’s trite, but we could tour the bridges of Madison County.” – Martin Prince

“This is a map of nuclear sites around the country.  As a safety inspector, I’m responsible for changing most of these light bulbs.” – Homer Simpson “Why are there so many burnt out ones?” – Lisa Simpson “Cause they won’t hire an assistant.” – Homer Simpson

“Ah, Spring Break in Hong Kong, custom made suits at slave labor prices.” – Principal Skinner

“Andy Williams!” – Nelson Muntz “Oh, we don’t need to stop here.” – Bart Simpson “Yes we do.” – Nelson Muntz “My huckleberry friend, moon river and me.” – Andy Williams “Wow!  I didn’t think he was gonna do Moon River, but then, bam, second encore!” – Nelson Muntz

“Donut?” – Homer Simpson“No, thanks.  Do you have any fruit?” – Lisa Simpson“This has purple stuff inside.  Purple is a fruit.” – Homer Simpson

“Okay, one more step, I’ve just got to go laminate your license.  You’ll get it in two to three weeks.” – Selma Bouvier “Hot damn!  No more sittin’ in the dirt at the drive in.” – Cletus

“You made it!  Did you have any trouble getting past the security guards?” – Homer Simpson “Security guards?” – Lisa Simpson