I don’t know what a “Jonah Hill” is, but apparently there will be one guest starring in this Sunday’s episode of Zombie Simpsons. Here’s the brief description from Simpsons Channel: Bart tracks down Andy Hamilton, Springfield Elementary’s best prankster ever (guest voice Jonah Hill) and they become fast friends until Bart gets Andy a job working for the ultimate clown. Not much to work with, admittedly, but I’m not holding my breath for this one. And, bonus, we’ve got an encore presentation of the dreadful Season 21 opener, “Homer the Whopper.” Fox has deemed it fit to let us revel in feeling our grey matter disintegrate for a FULL FUCKING HOUR. Truly, what a god amongst broadcasters they are.
Tag: Homer the Whopper
Synergy Jumps the Gun
“All these new superheroes suck. None of them can hold a candle to Radioactive Man.” – Bart Simpson We’ve seen a pretty hefty increase in traffic around here since Season 20 finally went off the air, so I’m going to explain just what these “synergy” posts are all about. IGN is a wholly owned subsidiary of FOX that publishes “reviews” of each new Zombie Simpsons episode, usually on the Monday after it’s broadcast. (They published early this week because they got an advance copy from their paymasters and wanted to add whatever little they could to the promotional momentum.) To call the reviews glowing would be an understatement, they are almost universally raves. And when there are criticisms they are of a Smithers-esque variety, as you’ll see below. (Example from this week: “Instead of bringing in something fresh and new, the writing partners deliver something familiar: a solid, funny, good old episode of The Simpsons.”) I don’t begrudge the people behind these reviews their sycophancy, everybody’s gotta eat, after all. But that doesn’t mean I have to let this synergistic propaganda pollute the internet unchallenged. Below you will find a version of the review that has had all the FOX-IGN synergy edited out of it. Enjoy. September 25, 2009 – Advance Review: The Simpsons opens Season 21 with an episode written by the duo that brought you Superbad, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. Word got out some time ago that the pair would be writing an episode of the series Zombie Simpsons, and when I first read this I was quite excited apathetic. Certainly I doubted they would be able to bring a fresh voice to the two-decade old series Zombie Simpsons. Now that their episode has arrived, does “Homer the Whopper” live up to these expectations? Not exactly Yes. Instead of bringing in something fresh and new, the writing partners deliver something familiar: a solid, funny, good old episode of The Simpsons a typically boring Zombie Simpsons episode. “Homer the Whopper” feels like an episode from Season 18 or 10 20, which makes complete sense, as most of it was probably written by the staff. Rogen and Goldberg are self-proclaimed fans of the series, so it’s no surprise that they would take their cues from the stronger eras of the show one is made to wonder why they’d want to be involved with it now. The majority of the episode pokes some serious fun lifeless, Entourage-style “fun” at the entertainment industry at large and more specifically the film industry. But things start with a comic book referencing geek fest, because – once again – actual satire would be too much to ask. The first act, in fact, is the strongest portion of the episode and if it could be graded alone it would likely be very close to a ten is nothing more that a citation of a bunch of different comic book titles without a hint of comedy or humor. It starts with Bart and Milhouse taunting Comic…
Crazy Noises: Homer the Whopper
“So where can we shoot this picture? We need a city that has a nuclear reactor and a gorge and can guarantee us the full cooperation of city officials.” – Movie Executive #2 “I’ll check Variety.” – Female Movie Executive “Wow, look at that ad! Alright this place must be hot, they don’t need a big ad or even correct spelling.” – Movie Executive #2 “I agree with that logic.” – Movie Executive #1 In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “Rogen”). Dave: I’m afraid my remarks will be brief tonightNot only did I not finish the episode I’m on a work-related conference call right now Charlie Sweatpants: That sucks. Dave: Tell me about it. Charlie Sweatpants: About the conference call, I envy you not finishing the episode. So, what part of Homer the Whopper broke you to the point you could no longer continue? Dave: Shortly after the scene with Comic Book Guy as Hollywood-stereotype I gave it 10, 15 minutes and fuck all happened Charlie Sweatpants: You may need to narrow that down. Mad Jon: You mean the party? Dave: Baby Prius Yes, the party Charlie Sweatpants: Ah. Dave: I seem to remember something about David Bowie too It all blurs together Mad Jon: I had to hold back tears when the kid came into the board room. Mainly because he was exactly the same kid who wanted Bonestorm in Marge Be Not Proud. Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, they needed to do a weight loss montage and couldn’t decide on which cliche they wanted to employ. Why did that bother you so much? Mad Jon: Well, that was a pretty pivotal moment in my Simpsons saga. Dave: I don’t think bothered is the right word, I was incredibly bored. Charlie Sweatpants: I mean, that whole scene was just pointless clock killing. Literally. It was a throwaway that they ended by going to a flashback of the actual purchase of the comic book movie rights. Dave: I’m sure there was some type of resolution to Homer’s weight problem but I just didn’t care Mad Jon: But it was a kick in the nuts because this season opens with the same throwaway kid that was in the episode we have pretty much decided was the end of the series as we knew it. Charlie Sweatpants: Speaking of the comic book, it was called Everyman, right? In one of the old Family Guys, when Brian is in Hollywood, he gets pissed off because another guy sold a script with a hero called John Everyman. Mad Jon: That’s right Dave: Whoops. Charlie Sweatpants: It was meant as something…
Poor Seth
“Your life long dream was to run out on the field during a baseball game, and you did it last year. Remember?” – Marge Simpson Last night I came across something in a news feed. I had already known that Seth Rogen was the writer of last Sunday’s Zombie Simpsons, but I didn’t know that it was some sort of attempt at self-actualization. AP Television writer Lynn Elber, stating this was a dream of Rogen’s, quotes him as saying “As a writer it always just seemed like the Holy Grail…. …I can die a happy man now.” I hate to have to tell you this Seth, because I’ve really enjoyed your film career of being the exact same character in like 5 or 6 different movies, but that wasn’t an episode of The Simpsons. It has been, and will continue to be, impossible to write an episode of The Simpsons, as The Simpsons basically went extinct a little more than a decade ago. What you have done, Sir, is further the cause of the Zombie Uprising. So there you go, life-long goal still unattained and now the undead are feasting upon the brains of the living. Don’t feel bad though, most people’s goals go unfulfilled, although we usually don’t end up raising the dead… But anyway, if I were you Seth Rogen, I would just give up on trying to write an episode of The Simpsons, all of the other writers did. Updated because we apparently don’t know how to spell Seth Rogen’s last name.
Zombie Simpsons Rocked by Family Guy Spinoff
Ahh, the sweet cleansing feeling of numbers. Zombie Simpsons scored the lowest season premier in its history last night, inflicting itself upon a mere 8.21 million people. The Cleveland Show, premiering directly afterwards, increased the ratings by more than a million people (to 9.42). (Family Guy itself checked in at 10.17 million.) There are at least a million Americans out there who’ve become so turned off by Zombie Simpsons that they didn’t even watch it while waiting for the latest from Seth MacFarlane. Excellent. For historical comparison sake, here are the last five season premiers of Zombie Simpsons: Season 16 (Treehouse of Horror XV) – 7 Nov 04 – 11.2 Million Viewers Season 17 (The Bonfire of the Manatees) – 11 Sep 05 – 9.6 Million Viewers Season 18 (The Mook, the Chef, the Wife, and Her Homer) – 10 Sep 06 – 11.5 Million Viewers Season 19 (He Loves to Fly and He D’Ohs) – 23 Sep 09 – 9.43 Million Viewers Season 20 (Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes) – 28 Sep 09 – 9.43 Million Viewers It’s not the world’s most consistent downward trend, but it’s definitely moving in the right direction. Plus, Zombie Simpsons tends to start relatively strong in the fall and then peter out after New Year’s. (I like to think that its crappiness wears the audience down.) For example, last year the eight episodes broadcast before New Year’s averaged 8.66 million viewers; the twelve broadcast after New Year’s averaged only 6.17 million viewers. So a start of only 8.21 is encouraging, to say the least. Of course, this is all pointless. The first time ratings are all but meaningless and we all know where the real money is made. But it is fun and I do like to see Zombie Simpsons humiliated. As always, all numbers from the indispensable TV by the Numbers.
Picked Up Right Where It Left Off
“Go ahead, try and grab some flab.” – Homer Simpson Season 21 picked up pretty much where Season 20 left off, in the darkest center of a comedy black hole from which nothing can escape. It hit all the usual Zombie Simpson notes: recycling plots and jokes, filling time with humor free “action” sequences, giving Homer a new job, and having him act bipolar. In this particular instance it was a wretched cross of “Radioactive Man” and “King of the Hill”, only it was actually worse than that because it was so openly aping Entourage that it mentioned one of the characters. There’s lots to pick on here, but for tonight I just want to highlight this little nugget of smug, baseless self satisfaction: Zombie Bart: That was awesome! Zombie Lisa: Although there were a few holes in the story. Movie Guy: That’s the problem when you have seventeen writers. But don’t worry, we have two fresh ones working on it. (Cut to Maggie and Mr. Teeny baning on laptops.) Clearly the Season 12 commentaries are not an anomaly. Going by previous season premiers, plus the heavily advertised debut of the newest Family Guy spinoff, I’m setting the over/under on the ratings at 9.5 million viewers. As always, I’m hoping for the under. Update: The numbers are in and the under has it. Last night’s Zombie Simpsons was endured by a mere 8.21 million viewers. Pointless gloating here.
Sunday Preview: “Homer the Whopper”
Oh goodie! Fox has answered our prayers by releasing a nearly 2-minute preview of Season 21’s opener, “Homer the Whopper.” Near as I can tell, it’s only available on iTunes, but if you’re a Zombie Simpsons fan, you won’t want to miss this. There’s jerkass Homer in spades, some unfunny talk about Bart’s thyroid problem, a Lindsay Naegle-esque movie studio executive, and vomit. If this is an accurate taste of what’s in store for the foreseeable future, my only mature, reasonable response is this: That is all.
Slouching Towards Zombie Simpsons
“Get ready for exciting quarter mile action at the Springfield Dragstrip! It’ll be motorized mayhem, mayhem, mayhem! Do we need all those ‘mayham’s? We do. Alright, fair enough. I suppose you know your business.” – Mr. Smithers Watching football on FOX just now there was a promo for the season premier of Zombie Simpsons. The announcer told me to get ready for “action”, “action” and “action”. He literally said it three times. Remember when the appeal of Simpsons was comedy? FOX doesn’t.