“McBain to base. Under attack by Comminazis.” – McBain
Tag: King of the Hill
Quote of the Day
“Homer, please remember to wipe your sweat off that machine. I got a terrible rash yesterday.” – Rainier Wolfcastle
Quote of the Day
“It’s time for the church picnic.” – Marge Simpson “What? They had a picnic last week.” – Homer Simpson “No, they didn’t. You just brought a bucket of chicken to church!” – Marge Simpson “If God didn’t want us to eat in church, he would’ve made gluttony a sin.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Gime? What’s a gime?” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “King of the Hill”! Original airdate 3 May 1998.
Quote of the Day
“That’s why I’m compressing five pounds of spaghetti into one handy, mouth size bar. . . . Hmm. . . . Hospital, please.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Sorry, I only eat food in bar form. When you concentrate food, you release it’s awesome power . . . I’m told.” – Homer Simpson
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“Don’t you have anything healthy here?” – Homer Simpson “We do have some low salt candy bars, and some reduced fat soda. And our beef jerky is now nearly rectum free!” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
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“So, what will it be, Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
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“You’re forgetting I’ve got my Power Sauce bars.” – Homer Simpson “Wake up, Homer! Those bars are just junk! They’re made of apple cores and Chinese newspapers.” – Neil “Hey, Deng Xiaoping died.” – Homer Simpson
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“Do you want to play capture the flag, daddy?” – Rod Flanders “Sports on a Sunday? Hm. I better check with Reverend-” – Ned Flanders “Oh, just play the damn game, Ned.” – Reverend Lovejoy
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“Oh, Marge, how could you let me let myself go like this?” – Homer Simpson “Me? I’m not the one who puts butter in your coffee.” – Marge Simpson
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“They won’t stop me from delivering these UNICEF pennies . . . Go, pennies! Help the puny children who need you.” – McBain
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“Homer Simpson, defying all medical advice, has switched to Power Sauce’s archrival, The Vita-Peach Health Log. Doctors say he may not have the mega-nutrients needed to stave off death.” – Brad
Quote of the Day
“Now step over to the abdominator and I will shout slogans at you. Push! Harder! Go past the max! Reach over the top! Master your ass!” – Rainier Wolfcastle
Compare & Contrast: Homer on Tour
“Has anyone mentioned that Homer doesn’t know anything about mountain climbing, and that this is all crazy?” – Marge Simpson “Well yes, a number of people.” – Neil Just a few minutes into “A Midsummer’s Nice Dream”, more than a decade of accumulated bad habits catastrophically cratered the episode: Zombie Marge: Homie, you know all the bits, maybe you could help him. Zombie Homer: I can’t do reefer comedy, I’m drunk, two different animals. Zombie Marge: Homer Simpson, that man’s albums have given you decades of entertainment, and seen you through some very square times. Help him! Zombie Crowd: [Cheers wildly] Mobsters, teachers, Smithers, Mrs. Glick, it’s almost like they have no personality of their own. You know where it goes from there. Homer walks on stage and everyone loves him. The man who is ostensibly an ordinary guy from an ordinary town once again becomes an overnight celebrity. Afterwards, the episode staggers around for another fifteen minutes, bumbling from one topic to the next as it tries to tell a story it’s told a hundred times before. Homer has had plenty of wild adventures going all the way back to the beginning of the show. But prior to about Season 9 or so, whenever Homer went out and did something really far fetched he was usually more along for the ride than in the driver’s seat. He certainly didn’t become an accomplished professional in the span of a few seconds. When he headed out with Hullabalooza, he wasn’t backing up Peter Frampton on guitar or freestyling with Cypress Hill. When he went into space, the NASA guys were planning on sedating him almost immediately, he wasn’t scheduled to land the shuttle. When he played softball with all those ringers, he couldn’t get a hit off Roger Clemens, nor could he field as well as Daryl Strawberry. He was always an amateur, even if he often found himself in places amateurs rarely tread. Compare that with the way Marge and the crowd shove him onstage during “A Midsummer’s Nice Dream”. He becomes the main act instantly, acquiring the timing and poise of an accomplished stage performer, something that requires years of training and practice, in less than a minute. The crowd knows it too, and they’re a-okay with Homer replacing one of the men they paid to see. He’s no longer a lucky amateur, he’s now the same mega-popular super character within the world of the show that he’s long been outside of it, and everyone, from his family to the crowd to the guest stars, understands that intuitively. I bet he’s glad his face is on a bunch of crappy merchandise though. This is far from the first time Zombie Simpsons has done something like this. The degradation of Homer from a recognizable everyman into an unrepentant, unfeeling, unrestrained id of middle age wish fulfillment is one of the true hallmarks of Zombie Simpsons. It started way back when the show began its implosion around Season 9 as Homer…
Quote of the Day
“Tell my beloved wife my last thoughts were of her . . . blinding and torturing Abe Simpson. Cheerio.” – Last Journal Entry of C.W. McAllister
Crazy Noises: King of the Hill
There’s no new Zombie Simpsons until, gulp, the end of the month, so we’re going to spend what’s left of the summer overthinking Season 9. Why Season 9? Because we did Season 8 last summer, and Season 9 was when the show started becoming more Zombie than Simpsons. Since we’re too lazy to do audio and too ugly to do video, we’ve booked a “chatroom” (ours is right between the one with the sexy seventh graders and the one with the bored federal agents pretending to be sexy seventh graders). So log on to your dial-up AOL and join us. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (shockingly, not on “cetaceous”). Today’s episode is 923 “King of the Hill”. Yesterday’s was 922 “Trash of the Titans”. Charlie Sweatpants: This is one of those twilight of the Simpsons episodes that I liked a lot more the second time I saw it. There’s a few too many horns of suspense to really enjoy it the first time around, because the story, especially the last third, doesn’t make a great deal of sense. But it’s shot through with good jokes. Mad Jon: It’s a zany plot idea, but there isn’t a whole lot that could have been done much better, minus, as you say the suspense horns, and some of the Homer gags I could live without – like the O2 tanks 5 feet up. Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, that and the montage are the low points of the episode. Mad Jon: Just like Trash of the Titans, I find this one entertaining. Charlie Sweatpants: I like this one better than “Trash of the Titans”. There’s far less Jerkass Homer. Dave: “Trash” is more watchable in my estimation, but this isn’t too far off. Mad Jon: I don’t know why you would have both Steve Weber and Brendan Fraser guest voice at the same time. We’re they pitching something they did together? But I did like their work. Charlie Sweatpants: I don’t know, but they were both great. The entire Powersauce thing was awesome, especially since food in bar form has only grown more popular and more idiotic since this episode aired. Mad Jon: Also I am pretty sure the Murderhorn is taller than Mt. McKinley Charlie Sweatpants: Only four vertical miles to go. Mad Jon: It’s just apple cores and Chinese newspaper. Charlie Sweatpants: The mountain thing is little tough to swallow, but that’s why this one improved so much on repeat viewings. Time-wise it doesn’t take up that much of the episode (in terms of threatening about how tall it is). Mad Jon: Fair enough I get a chuckle out of Grandpa’s story as well. Course folks were tougher back then Charlie Sweatpants: The suspense parts are all neatly broken up by things like the Sherpas, the Powersauce updates, and Homer discovering McAllister’s corpse and his hilarious last desire to see his wife blind and torture Abe Simpson. Dave: It wasn’t quite classic Grampa, but it was enjoyable. Mad Jon:…
Picked Up Right Where It Left Off
“Go ahead, try and grab some flab.” – Homer Simpson Season 21 picked up pretty much where Season 20 left off, in the darkest center of a comedy black hole from which nothing can escape. It hit all the usual Zombie Simpson notes: recycling plots and jokes, filling time with humor free “action” sequences, giving Homer a new job, and having him act bipolar. In this particular instance it was a wretched cross of “Radioactive Man” and “King of the Hill”, only it was actually worse than that because it was so openly aping Entourage that it mentioned one of the characters. There’s lots to pick on here, but for tonight I just want to highlight this little nugget of smug, baseless self satisfaction: Zombie Bart: That was awesome! Zombie Lisa: Although there were a few holes in the story. Movie Guy: That’s the problem when you have seventeen writers. But don’t worry, we have two fresh ones working on it. (Cut to Maggie and Mr. Teeny baning on laptops.) Clearly the Season 12 commentaries are not an anomaly. Going by previous season premiers, plus the heavily advertised debut of the newest Family Guy spinoff, I’m setting the over/under on the ratings at 9.5 million viewers. As always, I’m hoping for the under. Update: The numbers are in and the under has it. Last night’s Zombie Simpsons was endured by a mere 8.21 million viewers. Pointless gloating here.