“Welcome, welcome, welcome to an evening of exciting quarter mile action, action, action. Our first race is a benefit for daredevil Lance Murdoch, Murdoch, Murdoch! Who’s hospitalized with cirrhosis of the liver, liver, liver!
Tag: Homer the Smithers
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Mr. Burns, this was all my fault.” – Mr. Smithers “Don’t concern yourself. If things had turned ugly, I always had my mace.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Uh, Mr. Smithers, I don’t understand 2700 of my new duties.” – Homer Simpson “Well, the van’s leaving. Which one duty is giving you the most trouble?” – Mr. Smithers “Um, what do I do in case of fire?” – Homer Simpson “Sorry. Can’t hear you. Bye!” – Mr. Smithers “Aww, just my luck.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Uh, hello. You have a help wanted sign on the window.” – Mr. Smithers “Yeah, I need someone to help me with the midnight beer delivery. Your job is to distract Barney until it’s safely off the truck.” – Moe “I’ll just wait out back until then.” – Mr. Smithers “I look forward to working with you!” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“I’ll have my lunch, now: a single pillow of shredded wheat, some steamed toast, and a dodo egg.” – C.M. Burns “But I think the dodo went extinct.” – Homer Simpson “Get going! And answer those phones, install a computer system, and rotate my office so the window faces the hills.” – C.M. Burns “Uh-huh, uh-huh, okay . . . um, can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the things?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lousy two-legged pants.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’ll be fine! I’m sure your replacement will be able to handle everything. Who is he, anyway?” – C.M. Burns “Homer Simpson, sir, one of your organ banks from sector 7-G. All the recent events of your life have revolved around him in some way.” – Mr. Smithers “Simpson, eh?” – C.M. Burns Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer the Smithers”! Original airdate 25 February 1996.
Quote of the Day
“Welcome, welcome, welcome to an evening of exciting quarter mile action, action, action! Our first race is a benefit for daredevil Lance Murdock, Murdock, Murdock, who’s hospitalized with cirrhosis of the liver, liver, liver!” – Springfield Dragway Announcer
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, this beer isn’t working. I don’t feel any younger or funkier.” – C.M. Burns “I’ll switch to the table spoon, sir.” – Mr. Smithers
Quote of the Day
“This novelty foam hand is ludicrously oversized. Go swap it for a smaller one.” – C.M. Burns “It is a bit ostentatious, sir. I’ll be right back.” – Mr. Smithers Happy birthday Harry Shearer!
Quote of the Day
“We’re going to have to put a steel rod where your spine was.” – Dr. Hibbert “Will I ever move a piano again?” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, my goodness gracious, no.” – Dr. Hibbert
Reading Digest: Harry Shearer Speaks Between the Lines Edition
“What did Simpson do to you?” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, nothing other than drive me to distraction with his incompetent boobery. Terrible at everything! A complete moron . . . but I’m not really free to talk right now.” – C.M. Burns Thanks to Freedom Day tomorrow, it’s a short week and nobody’s spent much of it on the internet, so this is a very short Reading Digest. And since big holidays are always some of our lowest traffic moments of the year, I thought I’d bump it to today. There’s the usual collection of usage, some fan made stuff,…
Quote of the Day
“Ahoy ahoy? . . . No, you have the wrong number. This is 5246. I suspect you need more practice working your telephone machine.” – C.M. Burns
Reading Digest: Must Be Labor Day Edition
“Now look, stop calling me and start enjoying your vacation. Remember, I want to see lots of pictures when you get back.” – C.M. Burns “Uh, actually sir, picture taking is not allowed at this particular resort. Oop, I gotta now. There’s a line forming behind me.” – Mr. Smithers There are only two really slow periods for the internet during the year, the Christmas-New Year’s holiday gauntlet when all the big media companies are basically shut down for everything except really important breaking news, and late August when, for reasons of warm weather vacation, they do the same thing. …
Quote of the Day
“Your new duties will include answering Mr. Burns’ phone, preparing his tax return, moistening his eyeballs, assisting with his chewing and swallowing, lying to Congress, and some light typing.” – Mr. Smithers
Bill Oakley’s Twitter Followers Know What They Like
As of this writing, Bill Oakley has 3,660 followers on Twitter. Last week, he tweeted the following, innocuous Season 7 quote: Since Oakley’s followers (the ones that are real people who actually follow their Twitter feeds, anyway) are fans of the show, they responded with some of their favorite Simpsons-related telephone gags. Here they are (and remember that it’s Twitter, so read bottom to top): According to Twitter, it was twenty-six minutes from Oakley’s initial tweet to the one where he thanks everyone and says he can’t keep up any longer. In that time he retweeted fifteen quotes or references…
Quote of the Day
“Donuts? I told you, I don’t like ethnic food!” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“I’ve got to find a replacement who won’t outshine me. Perhaps if I search the employee evaluations for the word ‘incompetent’ . . . 714 names? Better be more specific: ‘lazy’, ‘clumsy’, ‘dimwitted’, ‘monstrously ugly’ . . . aw nuts to this, I’ll just go get Homer Simpson.” – Mr. Smithers
Quote of the Day
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” – Homer Simpson
Synergy Wants Its Job Back
“Ah, and my dear, dear Smithers, you’re no longer needed at all. You’re fired. Ta.” – C.M. Burns We’re now two episodes into Season 22, and there has been nary a synergistic peep from FOX owned subsidiary IGN. Last year, they “reviewed” the premier before it was even broadcast and had one of their puff pieces up each Monday after a new Zombie Simpsons aired. This year, all they’ve got is the generic description text that FOX puts out, and the episode pages for both new ones do not have a link to a review. This means that the “Synergy”…