“Your Honor, the prosecution moves that Principal Skinner’s testimony be stricken from the record.” – Prosecutor “Denied!” – Judge Snyder In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “DeGeneres”). One of the few good jokes from Season 10’s relentlessly dull Super Bowl episode “Sunday, Cruddy Sunday”, was when they described the two teams and then the President. In the first instance, they had Moe put a mug in front of his mouth when naming the Atlanta Falcons. When he spoke, his voice was also recorded slightly differently. They couldn’t properly animate his lines because they had no way of knowing who would be playing, so they made a joke out of it, using the obvious ploy to cover up his mouth. They went on, using the same gag to joke about Bill Clinton’s impeachment, implying that he might not be the President much longer. One of the few high points in an otherwise very bad episode. At the end of this week’s American Idol promo, they had someone do a Jay Leno impersonation about the BP oil spill. Only the voice didn’t match up at all, in fact, there was even a jarring change in the voice. When it’s a wide shot, the dialog is “Have you seen this, the President says Iran has gotten a hold of the most dangerous weapon known to man.” It then zooms in so the image on Moe’s television is the full shot, and a very different voice says, “The BP oil rig! That’s right ladies and gentlemen, but I know how to make that leak disappear: put it on NBC!” During the second shot the voice doesn’t begin to match the animation or the tone from the previous line. It’s childishly clumsy. When you’re screwing up things even Season 10 knew how to do, that’s not a good sign. Charlie Sweatpants: Enough about BP, is it time to move onto the second biggest disaster in America this week? Mad Jon: Sounds like a plan Initial thoughts? Charlie Sweatpants: I can’t decide if I want this episode to get more press, or if I want it stricken from the record. Mad Jon: Can’t it have one because of the other? Charlie Sweatpants: I was a little less upset by the Kesha thing a few weeks ago than you guys were, but this was too much. Dave: It was pretty whorish. Mad Jon: That was Simon Cowell’s second guest appearance. Charlie Sweatpants: I saw that, good that they only work with the most non-flash in the pan people, isn’t it? Mad Jon: Very classy. Dave: We should expect nothing less. Charlie…
Tag: Judge Me Tender
Synergy Can’t Go Along With This
“He crossed that line between everyday villainy, and cartoonish super-villainy.” – Waylon Smithers Up until this week, IGN had been doing a bang up job of sucking up to its paymaster. But the reeking desperation and overwhelming obviousness of making the season finale an American Idol commercial was too much, even for them. FOX let IGN down, man, now they don’t believe in nothin’ no more. IGN’s going to law school! As always, I’ve edited out the synergy. As a conclusion to one of the best worst seasons of The Simpsons Zombie Simpsons in the last few years, the series delivered another clunker. There was little to get excited about in "Judge Me Tender," an episode whose main storyline product placement focused on Moe and fellow Fox series American Idol. Had this been a half-hour stuck in the middle of the season, I it might not have been so disappointed passed relatively unnoticed, but choosing to end the year with it, especially after last week’s great Sideshow Bob episode, one can’t help but feel robbed that this embarrassment will be long remembered. Besides, Lost was on. [Ed note: No it wasn’t. Lost didn’t start until 9:00pm] The Simpsons didn’t hide the fact they were airing opposite an event night on ABC, specifically going up against the Lost retrospective. Bart’s chalkboard tried to spoil the whole thing for you: "End of Lost: It was all the dog’s dream. Watch us." But the episode they were trying to win you over with was less than compelling. If there were any bright spots, there weren’t, but if there were, it was would have been the first act. The Springfield Pet Fair offered up a number of great visual mildly clever gags and one-off bits. Drederick Tatum shopping for monkey diapers that wouldn’t upset his tiger’s stomach if the tiger ate the monkey was hilarious not one of them, instead dragging on much too long. "It’s a great time to be a tiger." Moe trying to find a seat at the Ugly Dog Contest was also a highlight took too long and wasn’t that funny to begin with. The contest turned out to be the catalyst hackneyed set up for the remainder of the episode. Krusty’s unfunny commentary was outdone by no worse than Moe’s heckling, and but the “plot” demanded otherwise, and so Moe quickly became an in-demand local judge. This all worked up to this point, took quite some time and led to and I enjoyed the montage of different contests that Moe was asked to judge. But the moment Once Moe was approached by a Hollywood agent and offered a stint as guest judge on American Idol, the episode lost me went from run of the mill Zombie Simpsons crappiness to turbo-charged, unfunny network shill. The Simpsons are used to be great at taking swipes at Hollywood and parent company Fox, but the majority of “bits” fell very flat in "Judge Me Tender." The series has made (better) tepid jokes about…
Desperate Ratings Ploy Fails Miserably
“Well, your honor, we’ve got plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are kinds of evidence.” – Lionel Hutz I’ve still never seen the 24 episode of Zombie Simpsons, but it couldn’t have been any more whorish than last night’s extended American Idol promo. Why anyone would want to watch Simon Cowell pretend to make fun of himself for ten minutes is beyond me, but that was nothing compared to the scene with the rest of the Idol judges. It would be difficult to imagine a more formulaic, by-the-numbers, and downright lifeless segment. They had the cast of another television show on, and had them act like themselves. That would be bad enough by itself but, on top of that, they didn’t do anything but serial monologues, one after another. They’ve got plenty of celebrity cameos and recycled ideas. Those are kinds of entertainment, right? Anyway, the numbers are in and, oh yeah, they’re bad. Last night’s crossover reminded a mere 5.74 million people that American Idol isn’t the only show that’s worn out its welcome. That’s the lowest number for a season finale ever, the eighth lowest of all time, and another humiliation for the perpetually humiliated Zombie Simpsons. If you can’t even get a ratings bump by whoring yourself completely for network cross promotion, how can you get one? All told, Season 21 averaged a mere 7.13 million viewers per episode. That does represent an infinitesimal improvement over Season 20’s 7.12 million viewer average. But that tiny victory was completely due to the 20th anniversary number from the night of Spurlock’s special. Without that, the average for Season 21 drops to a pitiful 6.79 million. Of the ten least watched episodes ever, seven of them came this year, and more than half of Season 21 is in the bottom twenty all time. Of course, the show is probably still profitable, even without the merchandising money. (With the merchandising money it is exceedingly profitable.) But that doesn’t change the fact that fewer and fewer people every year bother with Zombie Simpsons. Whether or not FOX thinks it’s damaging the brand by continuing a show few people watch, and even fewer actually like, is up to them. But the downward trend is irrefutable, and with no big anniversary to help them, Season 22 is certain to become the least watched season ever. Unless, of course, there’s a Season 23.
Sunday Preview: “Judge Me Tender”
Synergy, synergy, synergy! At long last, we’re at the end of Season 21 with “Judge Me Tender,” which for all intents and purposes seems to be a tacky commercial celebrating the Fox Network. My memory’s a bit hazy – I seem to recall Zombie Simpsons spoofing – by which I mean not ridiculing and using wholesale – an “American Idol”-like concept before, but I can’t be bothered to look it up. Anyway, the show’s saved its big guns for the finale with guest stars aplenty, including Rupert Murdoch. Here’s Simpsons Channel with the description: Moe discovers a talent for judging contests and is invited to appear on alongside Randy Jackson, Ellen DeGeneres, Kara DioGuardi, and Simon Cowell. Ryan Seacrest will also be on hand as the host. Yeah, whatever. I’d like to remind our readers that this is apparently the same show whose previous crossover antics with “The Critic” in Season 6’s “A Star Is Burns” so reviled creator Matt Groening that he demanded his name be pulled from the opening credits. Fifteen seasons later, to hell with principals and integrity, there’s money to be made! Folks, if ever there was any doubt, it’s clear now that the apple has been flung far from the tree, squished, and thrown into the compost heap.