Tag: The Homer They Fall

“Wow, I bet if God wore pants, he’d have a belt like that.” – Milhouse van Houten “This isn’t a belt. It’s a tactical pants retaining system.” – Bart Simpson

“What’s this?” – Homer Simpson “Aw, that’s the barbed wire. We, uh, we called that the ‘Stinger’. They, uh, they don’t let you use that no more.” – Moe

“You’ll be okay, Dad. Just make sure he hits you an even number of times so you don’t end up with amnesia.” – Bart Simpson

“Man, you’d never get me into a ring. Boxing causes brain damage.” – Barney Gumble

“Your brain is cushioned by a layer of fluid one eighth of an inch thicker than normal. It’s almost as if you’re wearing a football helmet inside your own head. Why, I could wallop you all day with this surgical two-by-four without ever knocking you down. . . . But I have other appointments.” – Dr. Hibbert

“Somehow, I just never made it to the big time.” – Moe “Why not?” – Homer Simpson “Cause I got knocked out forty times in a row. That plus politics. You know, it’s all politics.” – Moe “Lousy Democrats.” – Homer Simpson

“Here, let me show you something.” – Moe “Wow, I’ve never been in here before.” – Homer Simpson “Yeah, well, when I realized we hadn’t had no ladies in here since 1979, I turned it into an office.” – Moe

“Hey, Simpson, want to trade belts?” – Jimbo Jones “Well, not really, cause yours is just a piece of extension cord.” – Bart Simpson “Hey, dude, he’s ragging on your cord.” – Kearney “Get him!” – Jimbo Jones

“You used to be a boxer just like me?” – Homer Simpson “Yup.  They called me Kid Gorgeous.  Later on it was Kid Presentable, then Kid Gruesome, and finally Kid Moe.” – Moe

“Homer, of all the crazy ideas you’ve had, this one ranks somewhere in the middle.  You’re thirty-eight years old, you don’t know how to box, and you haven’t gotten any exercise since grade school.  Before you even consider this, I insist you consult a doctor.” – Marge Simpson “No problemo.” – Homer Simpson “A competent doctor!” – Marge Simpson “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson

“Hey, Simpson, wanna trade belts?” – Jimbo Jones “Well, not really, cause yours is just a piece of extension cord.” – Bart Simpson “Hey, dude, he’s ragging on your cord.” – Kearney “Get him.” – Jimbo Jones

“Fun’s over fellas!  If you’re gonna beat up my friend in my bar, there’s a two drink minimum.” – Moe

“Well, sir, you more than meet every one of this state’s requirements to box, wrestle or be shot out of a cannon.” – Dr. Hibbert “That’s what we get for living in a state founded by circus freaks.” – Marge Simpson

“Drederick, what do you think of Homer Simpson?” – Reporter “I think he’s a good man, I like him, I got nothing against him, but I’m definitely going to make orphans of his children.” – Drederick Tatum “Uh, you know they do have a mother, champ.” – Reporter “Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.” – Drederick Tatum