Tag: Homer Goes to College

“Sorry, son, but there’s a program about campus life that I really should watch.” – Homer Simpon “We now return to School of Hard Knockers, starring Corey Masterson.” – TV Announcer “Dean Bitterman, I hope nothing unsavory happens during my visit. As you know, I am the President of the United States.” – The President “Oh, don’t worry, I’ve expelled those rowdy members of Chug-A-Lug House.” – Dean Bitterman

“Ah, the college road trip. What better way to spread beer fueled mayhem?” – Homer Simpson “If you’re going for a ride, I’d like you to take Bart and Lisa.” – Homer Simpson “But, Marge, we’re college guys and we’re up to no good.” – Homer Simpson “Mr. Simpson, Gary spilled his ear medicine.” – Fat Nerd

“For the love of God, sir! There are two seats!” – Mr. Smithers “I like to put my feet up.” – C.M. Burns

“Hey, the pig’s acting kinda funny.” – Fat Nerd “He and Mr. Simpson split a case of malt liquor.” – Skinny Nerd “Guys, he’s really sick!” – Black Nerd “Hello, that sounds like a pig fainting!” – Dean Bobby Peterson

“You’re in big trouble, Burns! Homer Simpson’s job requires college training in nuclear physics. Now, you get your man up to speed or we’ll be forced to take legal action.” – Nuclear Inspector “Is that so? Well, I have the feeling you’ll be ‘dropping’ the charges. . . . Oh.” – C.M. Burns “The painters moved your desk, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Ah, yes.” – C.M. Burns

“Homer, we have a perfectly good bookcase.” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, but this is what they’re doing on campus! Besides, it isn’t costing us. I swiped the cinder blocks from a construction site.” – Homer Simpson “Sir, six cinder blocks are missing.” – Foreman “There’ll be no hospital, then. I’ll tell the children.” – Architect

“I did always want to go to college. But fate stood in the way.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, sign this application and you’re a shoe in.” – Guidance Counselor “That dog has somebody’s ham! This I gotta see!” – High School Homer

“I’m sorry, boys, I’ve never expelled anyone before.  But, that pig had some powerful friends.” – Dean Bobby Peterson “Oh, you’ll pay!  Don’t think you won’t pay!” – Richard Nixon

“Homey, here are the responses from the colleges you applied to.” – Marge Simpson “D’oh!  D’oh!  D’oh!  Woo-hoo, a flyer for a hardware store!” – Homer Simpson

“Hello, Simpson.  My lawyers and I were in the neighborhood and thought we’d stop by.” – C.M. Burns “Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares?” – Marge Simpson “Yes, he would.” – Blue Haired Lawyer

“Oh, Dean, this is what your new hip is going to look like . . . you’re going to have to go easy on it.” – Dr. Hibbert

“Don’t worry, Mr. Simpson, we can take care of ourselves.” – Black Nerd “Uh, wallet inspector.” – Snake “Oh, here you go.  I believe that’s all in order.” – Fat Nerd “Whoa, I can’t believe that worked!” – Snake “Hey, that’s not the wallet inspector.” – Homer Simpson

“Marge, someone squeezed all the life out of these kids.  And unless movies and teevee have lied to me, it’s a crusty, bitter old dean.” – Homer Simpson “Hi there, hello, I’m Dean Peterson, but you can call me Bobby.  I just want you to know, if you ever feel stressed out from studying or whatever, I’m always up for some hacky sack.  Or hey, if you just want to come by and jam, I used to be the bass player for the Pretenders.” – Dean Peterson “Boy, I can’t wait to take some of the starch out of that…

“It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.” – Homer Simpson

“Oh, very well, it’s time for your bribe.  Now, you can either have the washer and dryer where the lovely Smithers is standing, or you can trade it all in for what’s in this box.” – C.M. Burns “The box, the box!” – Nuclear Inspector